The Lost Art of Breakfast Eating

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Introduction

Have you ever sat at a table, have a breakfast before you, yet not know what to do? Do you enter a restaurant with your friends to have “brunch,” but end up ordering off the dinner menu, simply because you have no idea how to eat breakfast? If any of these pertain to you, you do not know how to eat breakfast, or at least the finer details.

This is not a common problem for most people, as they know the basic rules of breakfast. But, knowing the more technical rules, like what to eat, how to eat it, and appropriate drinks, silverware, and table manners, is more of a lost art. Starting from the basics is the only way to really begin, and therefore, I begin this document now.

Required Materials

You will need: a prepared breakfast, silverware, a cup, a drink of your choice, salt, pepper, napkins, condiments, sugars, and creams. For this document, the prepared breakfast will be a two eggs, sunny side up, with bacon, sausage, hashed browns, toast, and pancakes. Condiments will include butter and jelly. The setting will be a restaurant, so please be sure to skip steps not pertinent to you if eating in a different setting.

Many of these rules can be applied to various other dishes, but please keep in mind that this document is geared towards the previously mentioned materials & setting.

The Steps

Step 1: Assess Your Hunger

If one is not hungry, one must not eat. It is considered wasteful to eat when one is not hungry. If lightly hungry, one may have a snack instead. A fruit would suit best for a snack. For moderate to extreme hunger, please continue. If having been deprived of food for more than three weeks, please consult a physician before continuing.

Step 2: Sit down correctly

When approaching the table, one shoul...

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...til satisfied. Return glass to 0o and place on table. Warning: Placing glass on table when not at 0o will result in spillage. Repeat this process until the drink is done. Once the drink has been finished, you may request more, you may request a different drink, or no drink at all.

Step 7: Receive your Eats

Once the food has arrived, the waiter may not remember whose meal is whose, or the chef may come out rather than the waiter. If so, please be sure to claim your meal by raising your hand when announced. Be sure to thank the deliverer.

Now it is time to begin eating. But, wait! First, you must inspect your meal. Is it how you ordered? If so continue. If not, alert the waiter or chef of the error, and continue from there.

Step 8

Many people like to prepare their toast, pancakes, or any other dish they may have at this point. Let us prepare our toast and pancakes.

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