Many people promise to love their spouse ‘til death do them apart, but research has proven this vow to be broken after seven years. Statistics show infidelity is one of the leading causes of marital disruption and divorce; one in every three marriages end in divorce. Affairs have become common today more than ever and slowly rising are online affairs which are equally harmful. “Extramarital affairs range from brief sexual encounters to full-blown romantic affairs.” (Knox and Schacht, 315) Adultery is being disloyal, cheating, and unfaithful in a marriage, yet people have created words like “sleeping around” and “fooling around” to minimize its severity and justify adultery as a guilt free act. No longer do we live in the 1950’s - a time when divorce was strongly disapproved. Today, society has created these phrases disguising the perception of adultery. People have also created their individual values, which lead them to pursue personal happiness. What people don’t realize is that infidelity actually hurts everyone involved; it destroys families, self-esteem, trust, careers, and leaves a residue of pain and desperation.
There are many reasons why men and women decide to commit, are committing, or have committed adultery. Feldman and Cauffman (1999a) found 53% of participants of a survey endorsed the most common motive: attraction. Following, was partner absence with 48% and being unable to resist sexual opportunities. Finally, a third of participants who engaged in infidelity reported sexual dissatisfaction and insecurity within their relationship. Marriages become vulnerable to adultery when their needs are not met or satisfied, causing an extramarital affair. Though it is unmoral for either sex to commit adultery and involve...
... middle of paper ...
...ipulative and non-caring. Neto, Deschamps, and Barros (2000) classify men to be ludic lovers. The ludic love style is lived by the motto “Love ‘em and leave ‘em” (Knox and Schacht, 60).
Works Cited
Basow, S.A. 1992. Gender: Stereotypes and roles. 3d ed. Pacific Grove, Calif.: Brooks/Cole.
Bird, C. E., and A.M. Fremont. 1991. Gender, time, use, and health. Journal of Health and Social Behavior 32: 114-29
Feldman, S. S., & Cauifaman, E. (1999a). Sexual betrayal among late adolescents: Perspectives of the perpetrator and the aggrieved. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 28, 235-258.
Knox, David and Caroline Schacht. Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family. Belmont: California. 2005. Print.
Neto, F., J. C. Deschamps, J. Barros. 2000. Cross-cultural variations in attitudes toward love. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology
By applying Barbara Fredrickson work to the society that we live in today, there is lots of infidelity in marriages. Here is another source “Mhere Extra Marital Affair Detail Emerge.” This is about a man who had been in extra marital affairs. His wife found message in his phone that revealed a passionate affairs with another woman. When he misplaced his phone and couldn’t find it he threatened to beat her. Fortunate for his wife, she found the phone while cleaning up the house and read all the messages that proved to her that he was cheating on her with his backing vocalist. Barbara Fredrickson explains “If you have come to view love as a commitment, promise, or pledge, through marriage or any other loyalty ritual, prepare for an about face. I need you to step back prom al your preconception and consider an upgrade” (107). In this light Fredrickson wants us to understand that love should not be compare to anything, and being committed in a relationship
In this paper I am writing about marriage and infidelity in modern life and the books we have read in class. Marriage is a mutual bond in which a man and a woman decide to be with each other until they die. Infidelity is basically when the man or woman in a relationship cheat on the other person, without them knowing.
In today’s age, adultery has become to be seen as an unexpected side effect in many marital relationships. Whether it be with relationships before marriage as well as after marriage. Comparing marital relations a decade ago with marital relations today, adultery has become to be more commonly experienced in today’s households. Therefore with progressing views on types of relations that have emerged in today’s society the traditional concept that adultery is possible in every marital relation, is no longer considered immoral in particular cases. Throughout this paper, I will address the main idea that Richard Wasserstrom presents in his article and his arguments supporting his idea that adultery is immoral. I will then address my own viewpoints on what I disagree and agree with his
addictions and why many people do not understand it at all. The stories from real people
A man has been married to his wife for seven years. The couple has two beautiful children, a fabulous home, and appear to have the perfect marriage. After the husband leaves work one afternoon, he decides to stop in at the local bar. The man sits at a table in the corner of the room. Not long after his arrival, a woman approaches him. She asks the man if she can join him at his table. The two seem to have quite a bit in common and enjoy each other’s company. The woman asks if he would like to go back to her apartment. He has not had a fight with his wife today. In fact, she surprised him with a love note in his briefcase. Their sex life is enjoyable, frequent, and without complaint. The couple is not currently having financial problems. Despite this, why did the man decide to leave with a stranger and cheat on his wife? A great deal of research has been carried out on the topic of infidelity. Marital therapists have reported that more than half of the couples they counsel are in therapy as a result of infidelity (Atkins, Jacobson citation). Therapists also consider an extramarital affair as, “one of the most damaging relationship events and one of the most difficult problems to treat in couples therapy” (whisman predicting sexual infidelity…). Some therapists estimate that 50% to 65% of couples seek help after an incident of infidelity in their relationship (Atkins, Jacobson & Baucom). Identifying the reasons for this problem are essential to the success of its reduction. Infidelity is not a new phenomenon. However, there was little research on the topic until the late 1970’s (Drigotas & Barta, 2001). Numerous factors have been examined while trying to determine the root cause for extramarital relationships a...
It is widely believed that men and women respond differently to infidelity in the way they think and act (Buss, Larsen, Westen & Semmelroth, 1992; Takahashi et al., 2006; Walum et al., 2013). Past research has found that women tend to report more
In short story “The Cheater’s Guide to Love,” written by Junot Diaz, we observe infidelity and the negative effects it has on relationships. Anyone who cheats will eventually get caught and will have to deal with the consequences. People tend to overlook the fact that most relationships are unlikely to survive after infidelity. Trust becomes an issue after someone has been unfaithful. Yunior, the main character in this story, encounters conflict as he struggles to move on with his life after his fiancée discovers that he has been unfaithful. Over a six-year period, the author reveals how his unfaithfulness has an effect on his health and his relationships.
Claude Fischer the author of Sweet Land of Conformity erroneously makes the claim that, “Our culture consists that if you marry… you are signing an explicit or implicit contract to cooperate and conform.” We feel that as Americans, people tend to stray from this ideal; this is portrayed through divorce and infidelity. In today’s corrupt society, when you marry, you are expected to be loyal based on an, “explicit or implicit contract.” But as time goes by and people become less interested and involved with their partners, we see that this claim is not true. The twisted love triangle that occurred between Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, and Brad Pitt in 2005 demonstrates an example of infidelity which led to divorce. While Brad Pitt was married
For a person contemplating an affair, while asking themselves if affairs are ever worth it should also consider that the few nights of guilty pleasure in which they partake could subsequentl...
Monogamy does not imply fidelity (Fisher 63), and marriage does not imply monogamy. To understand this surprising statement, the word "monogamy" must be interpreted in a biological sense, and marriage in a legal sense. In other words, monogamy is just two people in a relationship for their mutual benefit, perhaps involving an extended family and children. Monogamy does not necessarily mean a life-long relationship, but it can, nor does it exclude occasional philandering. It is monogamy as long as two people maintain a pair-bond for their mutual benefit, no matter how short the relationship lasts. Marriage, on the other hand, legally recognizes many different mating systems from monogamy to polygamy.
Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
In order to understand adultery we must understand what it is and how does it start. Adultery-is the breaking of marriage. In the Ten Commandments the seventh commandment states “Thou shall not commit adultery”. Marriage and adultery are choices to be put into consideration before putting it into action. Adultery isn’t always about sex. Adultery in general can be looking at someone with a lustful eye. Usually in a marriage when a partners needs aren’t met they look for someone else outside of the marriage who can meet up to their expectations. It all starts with un-met needs such as money, lack of intimacy or none at all. Women are emotional beings who they are likely to with cheat once they find a man who is on the same emotional level with them. Men are likely to cheat if they feel unappreciated and not valued by their wife.
Infidelity is depicted as an extremely negative thing in the United States, and is often blamed for trust issues, psychologically damaging the spouse and their children, tearing apart marriages and families and more. People who commit adultery are often shamed and told how wrong what they did is and what a terrible person they are for doing it. According to the Journal of Martial and Family by the Associated Press, however, 41% of “marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional.” Clearly, while infidelity is generally viewed negative by society, many people either decide that it is not as negative as it is portrayed, or do not care and do it anyway. “The Lady with the Pet Dog” and “The Storm” both go against the typical view of adultery being a negative thing in a relationship by showing that it can actually have a beneficial outcome and leave some, if not all people happier.
The Immorality of Adultery Sex is believed, by some, to be a universal language, one that is free
There was a time when more smart-conscious decisions were made relating to sexual relationships. In particular, sexual relationships within a marriage. However, times have changed. The pillars that hold up our individual sexual values have started to crumble. It is estimated that two out of three marriages fail due to infidelity. This is a scary statistic considering that people believe a marriage can survive infidelity. This brings us to our first myth: Everyone has affairs.