Giving and Receiving Criticism Effectively
Frank A. Clark said, “Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” Criticism has been viewed in a negative fashion for ages and yet it is a daily part of our lives. In this paper, we examine why we seek out criticism and opportunities to criticize one another; how to give criticism effectively and without destroying our relationships with others; and how to effectively receive criticism so that it benefits us and helps us grow.
Why Seek Criticism
As human beings, it is generally believed that we tend to criticize others because of our own miserable conditions and disappointments. While it is usual that we would all rather not be criticized occasionally we must seek some sort of criticism or feedback in order to improve and reach the potential we possess. There are a few reasons as to why we seek criticism even when we dislike it so much.
To Gain Insight
In an interview with a supervisor at the home security and home automation company Vivint, it was pointed out that we seek criticism so that we may “gain insight into our own practices and work” (Howard, 2013). Getting another perspective on our performance can help us to move up in our professions, as well as make us feel a sense of progress and improvement as we realize our individual strengths and weaknesses and work to turn those weaknesses into strengths.
To Validate Ourselves
Oftentimes we seek out criticism or feedback as a way to validate ourselves and our perspective. Many of us deliver criticism simply because it makes us feel better about ourselves. In an article entitled On Criticism and Being Criticized: Some Considerations, it is stated that “Many of us hav...
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...me to consider the source, listen attentively, stay calm, ask clarifying questions, take ownership of our actions/work, and by setting goals.
Works Cited
annie42. (2013, November 16). Research survey on effective criticism. Retrieved from Yahoo! Answers: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20131114214218AAx3Gcn
Belnap, R. (2013, November 18). Receiving criticism as an art major. (H. Shoop, Interviewer)
Bernstein, J. (2007). On Criticism and Being Criticized: Some Considerations. Modern Psychoanalysis, pp. 11-19.
Hadfield, S. (2013). Giving and receiving criticism. Retrieved from Pearson Education: http://www.pearsoned.co.uk/bookshop/article.asp?item=1795
Howard, J. (2013, November 15). Giving and receiving criticism effectively. (H. Shoop, Interviewer)
Kimes, J. D. (2004). How to deal with criticism more effectively. Strategic Finance, 86(6), pp. 46-49.
Her research has shown that daughters describe a mother’s criticism as “ a magnifying glass held between the sun rays … concentration the rays of imperfection” (971). But for a mother a criticism is just a way to help her daughter improve. As sighted by Deborah “ Mothers subject their daughters to a level of scrutiny people usually reserve for themselves.” Meaning a mother will be a tough critic not because their daughter does not please them, but because a mother only wants what is best for their daughter.
In his article entitled “Turn Your Critical and Controlling Inner Voice into A C.A.L.M. M.O.” Gregg Henriques, Ph.D. presents a solution to internal negative feedback loops caused by one’s response to stressful or off-putting stimuli. He begins by explaining that humans have two streams of consciousness: one that reacts and one that reflects on the actions made by the former. By falling into the trap of thinking that one is not allowed to be weak or sensitive, he elaborates that many people will justify negative responses such as avoidance or repression of emotions. However, he explains that when one is critical of their own emotions and responses to given situations, they aren’t really doing themselves any favors. He introduces the acronym of C.A.L.M. M.O. instead.
look for flaws in people and situations, just as Lindo does for her daughter. Yet, I do it to sabotage my own happiness, as though I feel subconsciously as if I do not deserve to be happy. I would see flaws in people that I liked, or in my own work, thinking that I could do better each time with everything that came my way. I think that, because of this scrutiny that I put myself through, it has helped me to become a better student. I am able to see little details that require changing, that need to be improved. Also, I have recently come to realize that I deserve to be happy, that I am a good person, that I deserve what everyone else seems to have: pride in themselves and in others. I am gradually learning to accept others for what they are and have stopped looking for flaws in people. I now let them be what they are. I have accepted myself, and now am able to accept them. This book has helped me to see what qualities I have inside of myself and how pointless it really is to be so scrutinizing of myself and of others.
Humans are imperfect. It 's crucial and enlightening to step out of ourselves once a while and look back as a third person. Solicit and appreciate honest feedback that shows us our weaknesses, so that we can work on it to be real, not perfect. However, for some of us, it 's not easy and I understand it. It 's not about how senior we are, how rich we are or even how talented we are, but it 's about how real we are to accept the fact that we are still imperfect.
I have been blessed with many leaders and pillars in my life that challenge me daily. My parents, teachers, community leaders, and even figures in my church all know they can openly challenge my ideas. I try not to take constructive criticism as a put down; but rather as a compliment.
Not having this quality can make life harder and can build up negative emotions. It is up to the individual to find this within oneself – do not always worry about the approval of others, but it is key in doing what you want and what’s best for you. Yet, also strive to overcome negative events and remember your very own self-worth. Didion accomplishes this with her exquisite imagery, powerful personal anecdotes, and enforcing repetition in combination to push for change in readers to really reflect on themselves, so they can live a better, fulfilling
(Chap 10) Soliciting feedback is needed to not only improve oneself but also performance and relationship between family, friend, co-workers, etc. I remember when I was little, I would always eat and would be bigger than the other kids in my grade. I hated when people or my family would tell me to lose weight because it hurts my self-esteem. However, if it weren’t for those feedbacks about my health, I think I would not be aware of how I would have many heart problems or diseases in the future. I’ve became more aware of how I am and started to pay attention more to what I eat and how I exercise. By being more aware of health, actions, etc. people are able to be more positive and learn to value opinions and take action. Self-assessment is when using self-inquiry and reflection in order to gain insights into oneself. Especially when reflecting on certain actions and feelings within the team. When I need calm down or reduce my stress levels, I would meditate or paint to relieve myself. Exercising also helped me to increase my endorphins, especially when there’s so many assignments or in need of a break. People adapt more to reflecting themselves would become more satisfied about
Criticism could be either use in a positive way to improve or a negative way that can lower your self-esteem and cause stress anger or even aggression. When I was growing up I had to deal with criticism through school. People would say I was tall and skinny or my hair wasn’t real. My legs were so long that it was so hard to buy me any pants, once I made it to middle school. As a child my mother didn’t believe in adding chemicals to our hair, so I grew up with very natural and thick hair. Some people would ask me “Is that all you hair?” “Is that weave?” or some people would just run their fingers through my hair. I hated this criticism so bad that I would only want to wear my hair in a ponytail with a ball. I would beg and plead my mom to just let me cut my hair because I was sick of the
Criticism is something that we all deal with daily and many of us believe that when we give criticism we are expertly doing so but as we receive criticism we tend to believe the other person is degrading us personally. Since criticism is mainly to judge merits and faults of a person or their actions, it is natural for us to feel defensive as we act the way we do based on the knowledge we have and we feel that the criticism questions our knowledge. Many of us may see criticism as such and act defensively towards it but according to an article called Giving and Receiving Criticism the author Sue Hadfield states, “Constructive criticism, however, can be helpful and lead to better working relations.” (Hadfield, 2013) With this in mind we can process that criticism can be used to give feedback to better ones position or knowledge in that which is being criticized. But how do we give criticism while staying in the favor of the criticized and when receiving criticism how do we differentiate between constructive and destructive criticism? Continuing in the article the author presents certain...
It is a process I have picked up as I have aged because I know that continuous reflection helps everyone reach their potential and ensures that problems are identified early and as such solutions can be developed.
In this chapter, I learned new ways to give and to accept feedback. Personally, I like getting feedback. I like it because it allows me to improve on my work. For example, whenever I write essays I like to have another person look at it so they can catch any small, or even big, mistakes that I may have done. This chapter also taught me that too much negative feedback can really take a toll on a person negatively. When you give somebody too much negative feedback, that person can start to think that they’re doing everything completely wrong and can really be detrimental to their self-esteem. To give good feedback, you should give the person more positive feedback than negative. You should use constructive rather than destructive feedback. Constructive feedback is more information specific and issue specific based on observations without using judgement. Destructive feedback is full of judgement and isn’t helping the person learn. When you get the feedback, it is best to reframe it and then reconstruct it to your advantage. Getting feedback is always a good tool to get but not when it only contains
For many, the seven years of bad luck from breaking a mirror would be much preferred over honestly looking at it’s reflection. We can be comfortable with a bit of bad luck while having the crutch that we are “doing just fine”. Alternatively, self-evaluation can be difficult. Often we believe that we have little to improve, but more commonly, we believe that we can make improvements but have no concrete goals or traits to improve. We will explore some tools that will present us with solutions to this conundrum.
On a daily basis, we come in contact with individuals that we have to communicate with, wither it be for work purposes, educational purposes, or social practices. As active humans we cannot escape the idea of socializing or communication, therefor; we make it a daily routine who we communicate with, how we communicate with them, what we listen to and how we listen it. With this routine habits are formed, some are strengths but others are weaknesses that diminish the communication quality. It is extremely important for individuals to recognize these strengths and weakness within their communication routine. By recognizing their strengths, they are able to improve even further and use their ability to get them closer to goals they may have set for themselves. Recognizing their weaknesses is just as important if not more important.
Criticism is a vital part of our lives. If used well, it can empower us; if used badly, it can destroy careers, relationships, and destroy self-confidence. Key questions to ask: Is the person giving criticism off limits? Does it have value? Does it call for a specific action? It is worse to get no criticism than to receive it. When criticizing others, remind the person you are not personally criticizing others him/her but a specific action. Avoid criticizing in front of others. Maintain the other person’s self-esteem—don’t destroy them. Criticism is a commutation tool to bring about change.
“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.” - Madonna. When you read this quote, you think of one word, “Self-improvement.” Just with this one topic, you may ponder and ask yourself, “Who needs Self-improvement?” ,“ When do we need to start changing and How do we begin?”,” What will we get from it?” , and the most important question of all, “Why do we need self-improvement?” Self improvement comes from experiences. Experiences that were either blessings, mistakes, regrets, and overall a lesson each time. Self-improvement is a wake up call but will we ever take the chance to self-improve or just let it pass it by?