Evaluation of Feelings of Love in Relationships

In theory, people make decisions about becoming involved, romantically or

otherwise, with other people based upon a number of criteria with which they

evaluate the qualities of the other person. In some situations an individual may

consciously think about the criteria, or qualities, they are looking for in that

individual and then evaluate if the person meets the criteria. In most cases

however the person does not consciously think out this process, but simply

"knows" if he or she likes the other person or not. In some cases, the

most important criteria, at least initially, are surface type attributes, such

as race, appearance, or material wealth. In addition, the individual will

sometimes intuitively know that the other individual is not appropriate to start

a relationship with but is overwhelmed with the surface appearance. For all of

these reasons relationships will sometimes fail since the initial evaluation can

be based upon qualities that are not truly the most important for a long lasting

relationship. I will try to show that based upon two characters in American

Knees, their relationships failed, or at least struggled, since they had not

explored the most important qualities of the other person. A second sub-thesis

of this discussion relates to relationships that are chosen for individuals. For

example, a mother, father, sibling would fit into this category. In these

situations, the individual does not do the same type of evaluation since there

is no decision needed to become involved in the relationship. However, at some

point in the life of an individual they actually do recognize that a relative

meets, or does not meet, the most important criteria for a long lasting

relationship. In these cases...

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...nting my mother...And I was ashamed." That shows how

truly humiliated the young Beccah was during this episode. She even admonishes

herself since she did nothing to protect her mother "from the children's

sharp-toothed barbs". Beccah decides to run off and escape from this

situation, much like she wishes she could run away from her whole life with her

mother. My argument is that Beccah at points in her life recognized many

characteristics that she did not like and that made Beccah's life much more

difficult. She intuitively knew that her mother did not posses some of the

qualities she desired and this frustrated her. While at the end of the story,

Beccah learns to feel love for her mother (given her tragic circumstances), it

is clear that she was angered, frustrated, and embarrassed at times- and at some

level wished she could have had a different parent.