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Essay on Evaluation of Feelings of Love in Relationships

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In theory, people make decisions about becoming involved, romantically or
otherwise, with other people based upon a number of criteria with which they
evaluate the qualities of the other person. In some situations an individual may
consciously think about the criteria, or qualities, they are looking for in that
individual and then evaluate if the person meets the criteria. In most cases
however the person does not consciously think out this process, but simply
"knows" if he or she likes the other person or not. In some cases, the
most important criteria, at least initially, are surface type attributes, such
as race, appearance, or material wealth. In addition, the individual will
sometimes intuitively know that the other individual is not appropriate to start
a relationship with but is overwhelmed with the surface appearance. For all of
these reasons relationships will sometimes fail since the initial evaluation can
be based upon qualities that are not truly the most important for a long lasting
relationship. I will try to show that based upon two characters in American

Knees, their relationships failed, or at least struggled, since they had not
explored the most important qualities of the other person. A second sub-thesis
of this discussion relates to relationships that are chosen for individuals. For

example, a mother, father, sibling would fit into this category. In these
situations, the individual does not do the same type of evaluation since there
is no decision needed to become involved in the relationship. However, at some
point in the life of an individual they actually do recognize that a relative
meets, or does not meet, the most important criteria for a long lasting
relationship. In these cases...


... middle of paper ...


...nting my mother...And I was ashamed." That shows how
truly humiliated the young Beccah was during this episode. She even admonishes
herself since she did nothing to protect her mother "from the children's
sharp-toothed barbs". Beccah decides to run off and escape from this
situation, much like she wishes she could run away from her whole life with her
mother. My argument is that Beccah at points in her life recognized many
characteristics that she did not like and that made Beccah's life much more
difficult. She intuitively knew that her mother did not posses some of the
qualities she desired and this frustrated her. While at the end of the story,

Beccah learns to feel love for her mother (given her tragic circumstances), it
is clear that she was angered, frustrated, and embarrassed at times- and at some
level wished she could have had a different parent.


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