My father died a week ago today. He had a profound impact on the life I live today and on the person I became. The relationship between a son and a father can often be quite complicated. Not so, for me. I was blessed to have a rather simple, yet powerful and loving, relationship with my dad. And because I believe that at Fast Company we have created a community of friends, not mere readers with little connection to our magazine, I want to share the eulogy I delivered at his funeral on Saturday.
My father was a hard man to dislike. I know it's common at a funeral to only remember the good things, to omit the things that would embarrass someone. In my father's case, the most remarkable thing that can be said is that there is no bad.
So let me start with the facts.
My father was born in Federal Republic of Nigeria, when Nnamdi Azikiwe was president. He was the third of five children, born to a pair of textile workers in Silk City. So it was natural that one day he would become a textile worker himself. And one of my earliest memories is of my dad coming home with colored feet -- some nights orange, others blue, green, purple -- a telltale sign of what dye was used in his finishing plant that day.
Most of you know his eyesight was always poor. In fact, he wasn't born that way, but he could never remember how he lost the sight in one eye and had very little sight in the one that worked. His sister Isabell, whom he always referred to as Dizzy Izzie, thinks he was hit in the back of the head by a swing at a park. His brother Pat seems to recall that someone smashed a brick into the back of his head.
No matter. I'm told that if you were walking down the street when my father drove a car, it would make good sense to run in t...
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...d -- because we did them again and again and again and again, his outstretched hand leading me here and there and everywhere. I remember my times with my father as vividly as a great piece of music where you know every word, every note, every solo taken by every member of the band. You know it until it becomes part of you, until it becomes you.
He did that for me, and because he did, we will always travel together.
As my father neared death, I put my hand in his as often as I could. I wanted him to know that I was with him on his final journey on earth.
Dad, today your body is going to a place I'm not ready for. You'll have to go there alone. But I will join you some day, and I will look forward to that time when we can take those very long walks together forever and ever.
Sleep warm, dad. Sleep tight. Sleep well.
I love you. Always have. Always will.
My mother was a complex, multi-faceted person. Many of you here today knew my mother personally, and many of you knew my mother indirectly through one of her family members. You may have known her as a coworker, a friend, or a support person. Of course, all of my mother’s family here today each knew a part of her, a “facet” of her--as a mother, a sister, an aunt, a grandmother, a cousin.
• This quote is significant because of my experiences with people passing away. The careful wording and language you speak leaves a significant mark on one’s heart. Describing the process of death is extremely agonizing even when funerals are formal and well planned out events. The ceremony is filled with tears and pain, words cannot fully describe exactly what it feels like. All we can hope for is for them to have a good afterlife.
Before I go on to celebrate my mother and what she stood for I must share with you the reality of what life was like for my mother and the family since she was first diagnosed with cancer in October. Of course, nobody suffered more than my mother, but Dad you’re definitely second. We all shared my mother’s pain. It was like we were all on trial.
When my father died, I was too young to participate in a meaningful way, so at some level this is my eulogy for him, too.
I'd like to thank you all for the outpouring of support and condolences on the loss of my beautiful son Adam. My entire family appreciates it. This is my eulogy to Adam:
As my family planned the funeral over the next few days, we began reminiscing about our time with my mom. This made me realize that I never take any of the time I spent with her for granted and I will cherish every moment I had with
On behalf of my entire family, I want to thank all of you for your compassion and for being present here today. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Mauri-Lynne, and I'm Lionel's daughter. Dad was devoted to every one of you. We all hope that you'll share your memories of him with us, if not today then in the weeks and months to come.
.... Those moments were all I had left of him. Life indeed was extremely precious. I cannot do anything to stop death. God wanted my Pa; therefore He took my Pa. I made all these plans, but life is too short. My Pa’s life was cut shorter than I wanted it to be. I sat there and I wondered, “Was he thinking about me? Would we meet again one day? Where will I go when my life is done? Who will I impact?” These were all the questions I asked myself as I was laying there.
I knew the moment was coming, but I wasn’t ready for what I was about to be told, no matter how prepared I was to hear it, I wasn’t ready to accept it. I had received a text from my mom while I was sitting in my room, “come outside your dad and I have something we need to tell you”.
Another experience of my father’s losses that I like to mention is from wartime. War between our country and Iraq. During that time town almost was empty because it had been attacked by air force, and continued. One time as a result of the bombing my father’s house was destroyed, when we became aware every body rushed to the town and home, what we saw was an unforgettable scene, all doors, windows and walls were ruined and scattered and massed inside the house. Some furniture plus all rugs were safe, but my father touched nothing; he leaned to a wall and was gazing in space. After a short time he said, “leave all these stuff here. I do not need anything, leave them for people.” and turned back to the village. First days he was angry, sometimes he was silent and sometimes yelling at every body and for everything, but the main target of his rush and his offenses was the government. He was swearing to governors and the leader all the time. Then he turned to sadness, but it did not last long and during an interval of war he rebuilt his house.
When my great grandma died, I wasn't able to go to her funeral, but I was able to go and see her grave with my mom. Afterwards we went to visit my grandmother and I was crying but she just told me all of the things that my great grandma could do now and it cheered me right up and kept me from missing her to much because she showed me how happy my great grandma probably was right then.
Eulogy for Son The Death of a Child. Not many people realize that the death of a child is NOT in accordance with God’s NORMAL scheme of things. It is not a natural. God did not mean for a child to go first. A child buries the parent.
My father has been a great influence in my life. The reason why my dad has influenced me is because he was able to raise me. My dad raised my two brothers and me by himself because my mother passed away. The day when my mother passed away was hardest time for us all. My brother and I were in waiting room with a friend of my Dad’s. My Dad came out of my mother’s room with worried face. My Dad told us that mother was not feeling well, so we
Each of you here had your own relationship with my Dad, each of you has your own set of memories and your own word picture that describes this man. I don’t presume to know the man that you knew. But I hope that, in this eulogy that I offer, you will recognise some part of the man that we all knew, the man that is no longer amongst us, the man who will never be gone until all of us here have passed.
In my life time, I have experienced many deaths. I have never had anyone that was very close to me die, but I have shed tears over many deaths that I knew traumatically impacted the people that I love. The first death that influenced me was the death of my grandfather. My grandfather passed away when I was very young, so I never really got the chance to know him. My papaw Tom was my mothers dad, and she was very upset after his passing. Seeing my mom get upset caused me to be sad. The second death that influenced my life was the death of my great grandmother. My great grandmother was a very healthy women her whole life. When she was ninety three she had