Twisted Expectations in Lorrie Moore's "How"

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"So all things limp together for the only possible."

~ Excerpt from Samuel Beckett's Murphy

The "you" in Lorrie Moore's "How" is almost the completely opposite of the stereotypical roles we have assigned to men and women. "You" is assumed to be a female, mainly because of the fact that the other partner in the relationship is a male. Moore never specifies whether "you" is a female or male but because of the American view of a relationship, readers assume that "you" is a female. The narrator leaves you wondering how the characteristics of "you" contribute to the epigraph from Beckett. If the "you" is a female, then the epigraph explains why the female acts the way she does.

"You" does several things, which are normally viewed as masculine. After meeting the male, "you" begins to feel bored with the relationship. The narrator suggests to "make attempts at a less restrictive relationship... Clarify: rents are high, nothing long-range, love and all that, hon, but it's footloose."(Moore 79). Usually men are the ones to suggest seeing other people. "Think about leaving. About packing a bag and slithering off, out the door." (80). "You will meet another actor. Or maybe it's the same one. Begin to have an affair. Begin to lie." (82). Although stereotypical, men are also viewed to be the ones to leave and end the relationship as well as the ones who typically cheat on their partner.

"You" leaves dirty dishes in the sink and dirty clothes to be washed. "You" finally decides to end the relationship by taking him out to dinner and telling him that night while lying in bed that she is going to leave him and does not love him anymore.

The male seems to be the complete opposite of "you" by being very sensitive and having feminine qualities. He asks "you" to move in after the suggestion of a less restrictive arrangement. He wants to follow her wherever her career may lead her. "He craves a family, a neat nest of human bowls; he wants to have your children... he will begin to talk about a movie camera and children's encyclopedias, picking up size-one shoes in department stores." (80). The strong desire for a family is commonly affiliated with the woman. I am not stating that men do not usually want families, but the desire and need for one is typically greater on the woman's side.

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