The Onion Summary

In this mock press release from The Onion, the author is parodying the way products are branded to consumers. He assumes that the techniques utilized by sponsors are misrepresented and manipulative. The author shows his disdain for marketing techniques by using irony, hyperbole, and diction.
The creator's utilization of style stresses the tone that real advertisements use to sell their products. Nonetheless, this creator spurns that tone by utilization of wry and misrepresented word decision. For instance, he ridicules the scientific words typically used by applying made up words. He creates terms like “pain nuclei,” “kilofrankels,” and “comfortrons.” By inserting this humorous word usage, the author is making an association to scientific vocabulary typically used in marketing. Consumers are frequently deluded by vocabulary that they are unfamiliar with, and this author is satirically demonstrating that. In particular, he uses the term “pseudoscience” which sounds, to a clueless ear, like a legitimate field of study. On the other hand, a sharp peruser will

The article contains a quote by the item's maker that claims it is “not just a shoe insert—it’s a total foot rejuvenation system” (line 16-17). This is a distortion of what run of the mill ads say in regards to their item. All advertisers want to sell their product as a “cure-all.” Through hyperbole, this article is mocking this convention. In addition, the article asserts that “if the frequency of one’s foot is out of alignment with the Earth, the entire body will suffer” (lines 43-45). This is clearly a dream because of the fact that we understand that your whole body is not as a matter of course affected by the biomagnetic association of your foot to the ground. The author’s hyperbole serves to further demonstrate that commercials often use bombastic