WR098
Layan AlSharif
Essay 3
Outlooks on Modern Marriage The modern concept of marriage is different than what it was many years ago. The realities of love and marriage are constantly being challenged by highly educated and working women. Jhumpa Lahiri, through her novel The Namesake, narrates the story of the Gangulis: a Bengali family who immigrates to America. Ashima, the mother, gives birth to Gogol who represents the second generation of the immigrant family. The novel examines one outlook on modern marriage: using love to satisfy temporary needs rather than having a relationship dependent on actual feelings of trust and loyalty. Lahiri shows this outlook by providing a detailed view into Gogol’s series of unsuccessful romantic relationships,
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Unlike his parents, he uses love as a mean of rebelling against his past and trying to form his own identity. Gogol’s love life is intense and filled with openly sexual relationships with three different women. As Gogol grows older and passes through different life stages, his outlooks on life and self-identity change. Therefore, the women he is attracted to represent his development; each signify a stage in his identity crisis. Gogol’s first relationship is with Ruth. This relationship represents Gogol’s life stage as a college student at Yale. In this new place, where he is nervous about introducing his origins, and fears being rejected as an immigrant, Ruth “expresses interest, asking about his visits to Calcutta” (The Namesake,111). He feels closely attracted to her as he “begins to meet her after her classes, remembering her schedule” (The Namesake,113). The identity she represents is that of a typical Yale student, and therefore, he finds himself attracted to her. However, when she returns from a trip to England, she is back with a new identity; one full of British phrases which does not fit Gogol’s identity. Their relationship ends as they both realize that they have …show more content…
Their entire definitions of love and marriage are being re-examined as we pass from one generation to another. The outlooks on modern marriage are introduced by Lahiri, Larson, and Guest. Lahiri shows how love these days is used as a temporary satisfying tool. Larson suggests that marriage is not required anymore, in contrast with the past, and Guest proves that marriage does not guarantee happiness. We live in a world where divorce is widespread, and many suggestions are being made to update the traditional family and marriage model. The future of the concept of marriage is hard to predict, and young adults are confused on the idea of marriage, but who can blame
DeVault, C., Cohen, T., & Strong, B. (2011). The marriage and family experience: Intimate relationships in a changing society. (11th ed., pgs. 400-426). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth cengage learning.
Gogol, at a certain point, analyzes people in general appearing of friendship that Maxine's parents show to the absence of such open indications of feeling of his own parents. At first, he interprets this as meaning that his parents don't have an indistinguishable sort of adoration from Maxine's parents. He feels good around Maxine's parents than he does around his parents. After his father's death, Gogol sees things in an unexpected way. His parents’ love could keep running as profound as that of some other couple. The only different is that their culture does not approve of public display. Love is viewed as a private expression.
Marriage is the legal or formally recognized union of a man and a woman, or two people or the same sex as partners in a relationship. Marriage rates in the United States have changed drastically since the last 90’s and early 2000 years (Cherlin 2004). Marital decline perspective and marital resilience perspective are the two primary perspectives and which we believe are the results from the decline. The marital decline perspective is the view that the American culture has become increasingly individualistic and preoccupied with personal happiness (Amato, 2004). The change in attitudes has changed the meaning of marriage as a whole, from a formal institution
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
Marriage and divorce are culturally ruled, as I have noted from my interviews with friends and family of different cultures who have married, perhaps some have divorced, and with each experience in love they have culturally accepted values that pertain to their overall ideals and values on love, marriage, shared values, etc. The purpose of this paper is to establish a clear understanding of human nature as it relates to the portrait of adulthood and mate selection; institution of marriage, procreation, and even divorce as it relates to acceptance of failed expectations and moving on. I was not surprised to learn that the people I interviewed were traditional in their beliefs that marriage is a serious commitment that should be respected and approached for longevity.
“A recent Pew Research Center survey showed that 39 percent of respondents believe marriage is becoming obsolete. And as far as the issue of living together vs. marriage, 55 percent of respondents felt that it was a good thing or made no difference if a couple lived together without being married.” The older generations are surprised at how different the newest generation is. They are the ones fighting against the new generation. They do not want change and are not prepared for it. It is different than what they grew up with and it’s breaking what they have always known.
It is not a new thought that today’s young Americans are facing issues, problems and difficult decisions that past generations never had to question. In a world of technology, media, and a rough economy, many young adults in America are influenced by a tidal wave of opinions and life choices without much relevant advice from older generations. The Generation Y, or Millennial, group are coming of age in a confusing and mixed-message society. One of these messages that bombard young Americans is the choice of premarital cohabitation. Premarital cohabitation, or living together without being married (Jose, O’Leary & Moyer, 2010), has increased significantly in the past couple of decades and is now a “natural” life choice before taking the plunge into marriage. Kennedy and Bumpass (2008) state that, “The increase in cohabitation is well documented,such that nearly two thirds of newlyweds have cohabited prior to their first marriage”(as cited in Harvey, 2011, p. 10), this is a striking contrast compared with statistics of our grandparents, or even parents, generations. It is such an increasing social behavior that people in society consider cohabitation “necessary” before entering into marriage. Even more, young Americans who choose not to cohabitate, for many different reasons, are looked upon as being “old-fashioned”, “naive”, or “unintelligent”. This pressure for young people to cohabitate before marriage is a serious “modern-day” challenge; especially when given research that states, “... most empirical studies find that couples who cohabited prior to marriage experience significantly higher odds of marital dissolution than their counterparts who did not cohabit before marriage”, stated by Jose (2010) and colleagues (as c...
A study performed by a research group at a Oxford University studying the effects of age and generation on marriage equality, length, and satisfaction. The study found that there was no evidence of declining satisfaction in marriages of millennials. This disproving their original theory that marriages among millennials would be plagued by influence of higher divorce rates and mixed media messaging. However they found the opposite millennials often had more substantial and positive views on marriage than other generations surveyed. “Table 1 reveals that commitment to marriage was significantly higher in the younger cohort than in the older cohort. This is contrary to our expectations and indicates that declining commitment to marriage cannot be an explanation for the proposed decline in marital quality between cohorts.” the scientists stated in the report. “Compared with the older cohort, reported lower levels of marital interaction and higher levels of marital conflict and marital problems. Interestingly, despite these declines, the younger cohort did not report lower levels of marital happiness or divorce proneness,” they concluded. This shows that not all generations can be taken at face value.Generations have no effect on morality and the stereotypical millennial cultural saboteur is false and harmful to society, millennials still value
Is marriage really important? There is a lot of controversy over marriage and whether it is eminent. Some people believe it is and some people believe it is not. These opposing opinions cause this controversy. “On Not Saying ‘I do’” by Dorian Solot explains that marriage is not needed to sustain a relationship or a necessity to keep it healthy and happy. Solot believes that when a couple gets married things change. In “For Better, For Worse”, Stephanie Coontz expresses that marriage is not what is traditional in society because it has changed and is no longer considered as a dictator for people’s lives. The differences between these two essays are the author’s writing style and ideas.
While marriage is still quite alive, the rates are definitely declining. It is interesting to distinguish the qualities and characteristics of relationships between generations. At some point, marriage would succeed or fail depending on happiness and satisfaction of couples. Today, there is high expectation between couples. Arlene Skolnick talks about a few different topics one of them being “ For better and for Worst”. For this topic Arlene Skolnick talks about a sociologist Jesse Bernard argument that every marriage consists of two other marriages, his and hers, and how marriages typically favors men rather than the women. He sates that that the stresses that are experienced in a marriage come from expectations between the husband and wife. Anther topic Arlene Skolnick talks about is “Marriage is Movie, Not a Snapshot”. For this topic Arlene Skolnick talks a little about Heroclitis the ancient Greek philosopher saying of how “you can never step into the same river twice, because it is always moving” and how this is smaller to a marriage. Arlene Skolnick talks about a few different studies that where done over a short period of time demonstrating that families, marriages, and people can change over
Marriage in our generation is a commitment and a promise that two people make to be
Throughout the last half of the century, our society has watched the divorce rate of married couples skyrocket to numbers previously not seen. Although their has been a slight decline in divorce rates, “half of first marriages still were expected to dissolve before death.” (Stacy, 15, 1991) Whatever happened to that meaningful exchange of words, “until death do us part,” uttered by the bride and groom to each other on their wedding day? What could have been the cause of such inflated divorce rates? Perhaps young married couples are not mature enough to be engaged in such a trremendous responsibility, or, maybe, the couples really do not know each other as well as they thought. Possibly, they have been blinded by infatuation rather than by true love, or, quite simply, the couples mistakenly have different relational expectations.
He avoids telling them for as long as he can, even if it keeps him from seeing Ruth “But such a trip would require telling his parents about Ruth, something he has no desire to do” (Lahiri 115). To him, his parents represent Bengali culture, something he is not sure he wants to be a part of. He tries to live entirely without their opinion, driving them out of his personal life almost entirely. Although he is trying to separate himself from Bengali culture, he still remains only a few hours away from home, still visits every other weekend. At the end of the day, Gogol is still connected to his home and culture in a way Ruth is not. Ruth seeks adventure in Europe choosing to study abroad in Oxford, London. “Instead of coming back from Oxford after those twelve weeks, she’d stayed on to do a summer course” (Lahiri 119). In fact Ruth wants to go back to England for graduate school, something Gogol has no real interest in doing. His connection, even if subconscious ends up being the driving force in Ruth and Gogol’s break up. He fails to learn from his mistakes with Ruth, however, and the next girl he dates is even more different than
The debate on whether to get married or stay single has been raging for a long while, with both sides of the coin having their own pros and cons regarding the matter. Many proponents of either marriage or single life have strong individual convictions, and it is difficult to reach a definitive, objective conclusion. Is the married individual happier than his/her single counterpart, or is getting married just a comfort seeking ritual that people believe they have to fulfill at some point in their lives? It is necessary to dissect this issue in the light of four factors: health and other medical factors, the economic and financial factors, mental and emotional wellbeing and lastly, the social factors. According to Webster’s dictionary, the definition of Married is “the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law”.
Statistics show that in 1998, 2,256,000 couples became married, and 1,135,000 couples became divorced (Fast 1,2). For every two couples getting married, there is one that is getting divorced. In fact, half of ALL marriages end in divorce (Ayer 41). That is a sad reality to face. Those percentage rates increase as the age of the participant’s decrease. It seems these days, fewer and fewer teens between the ages of 14 and 18 are getting married. This is a change for the better. Teens are usually not prepared for marriage. Marriage comes with many responsibilities; most of which teens are not prepared to handle. “Early marriage, though possessing certain inherent dangers, is widely practiced in contemporary America” (Teenage 1). Even if teens feel they have the potential for a lasting marriage, they should still wait to become married.