True Colors People are often described as being two-sided or two-faced. This is describing the fact in certain situations or with certain people their personalities are different than in other situations or with other people. In his piece, Testaments Betrayed, Czech writer Milan Kundera argues the people in private act differently than they do in public. He says that ‘in private, we bad mouth our friends and use coarse language; the we act different in private than in public is everyone's most conspicuous experience…”. This claim, that people behave different in public and in private is true; people do this because they're afraid to show who they really are, and because they want to protect their reputation. Often times people will behave differently …show more content…
For many people, their reputation is very important and if they were to act in public like they did in private they’d compromise that. For example, my neighbor Max Smith loves to collect toy cars, it is one of his greatest hobbies. However, when he’s in school, or he’s out with friends, he doesn’t admit that he collects cars because he has the reputation of being a “cool and tough” guy. In an attempt to protect this reputation he alters his personality from what it is like in private. A good friend of mine, Maggie, is in fact probably one of the rudest people I know when we’re in private. She’ll say bad things about other people, she complain about her parents, and even talks about her siblings in a negative light. However, in public she has a reputation of being a really nice person, she volunteers, she works hard, and helps other people in her community. This goes to show how when she's in public she alters her personality from her personality in private, a little bit more of a mean one, in order to protect very well respected and positive reputation she
Even if following the social norms means changing their values and behaviors, which make up their identities, they are likely to be influenced by their surroundings rather than their own judgments. Tom Vanderbilt is well aware of the power of public eyes over individuals. He examines that cars become safe havens where people can truly be themselves with freedom from the shackles of social expectations. He states that “because we feel that no one is watching, or that no one we know will see us, the inside of the car itself becomes a useful place for self-expression” (Vanderbilt 491), explaining the difference in people’s behaviors in public and private space. When unseen, people take actions that they would normally refrain from when they are around others – “nasal probing”, singing, or crying (491), for example. Anonymity is therefore beneficial to the development of identity in
One of the most common things heard when interacting with others is: “Just be yourself”. However, is there truly a choice? Many may try to cover up their true identity for unknown purposes. In order to fit in, some may pretend to enjoy things they dislike, and dislike things they really enjoy. As demonstrated in countless books, stories, and movies, a person’s true identity will always be exposed one way or another. In Matt Ruff’s novel Bad Monkeys, the true nature of a person will always overshadow any disguised identity.
When pondering about what an individual thinks of you, people have varying views. Some people are not concerned; to others it is the most critical matter on their mind. The feeling of being judged is a very potent emotion. Likewise, conformity is one of the largest controversies in today’s society; the behavior of someone in accordance with socially accepted conventions or standards. So if someone personally made his or her expectations on what you should be like evident, would you change? In Matthew Quick’s The Silver Linings Playbook, he illustrates that judgment and expectations conform a person into someone they are not due to their personal identity. This can be seen through a character’s loyalty to another, dominance and the vulnerability it includes, and a character’s love and devotion. Conformity and the reasons for its appearance will be analyzed through samples from Matthew Quick’s bestselling novel.
As much as we try not to care what others think about us, without noticing it we take into account the way others perceive us. This is referred to as the labeling theory, ”a reaction to those labels over time form the basis of their self-identity” (Conley, 2015:203). By looking at others a certain way, they tend to notice and adapt to the way we perceive them. When someone has been known to steal, they are looked at as a thief. We would be more careful to watch our belongings around the person, “rather safe than sorry” as people say. Many times people get tired of trying to prove themselves to society and decide if they are constantly being treated as a thief then they should steal, either way, that’s what they’ve been labeled as. When that same person gets arrested for stealing a purse a month later, our feelings are being validated and we continuing judging the next
Yet another example includes the parable entitled “The Ministers Black Veil” written by Nathaniel Hawthorne, where a highly respected minister is looked down upon for wearing a black veil over his face. The minister is aware of the gossip his veil initiates within the town, but continues to wear it despite the opinions of others. The importance of maintaining ones individuality under the pressures of conformity is an idea most pertinent to “Outside of a Small Circle of Friends”, “The Dying Girl that No One Helped”, and “The Minister’s Black Vail”.
people from interactions within places often controls how they’re accepted by others in that place.
Adopted into sociology by Erving Goffman, he developed most terms and the idea behind dramaturgical analysis in his 1959 book The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. This book lays out the process of human social interaction, sometimes called "impression management". Goffman makes the distinction between "front stage" and "back stage" behavior. “Front stage" actions are visible to the audience and are part of the performance. We change our hair color, eye color, complextion. Wearing make-up, the way our hair is styled, the clothes we wear. The demeanor we present to the world to the. All of these things lead to an outward appearance of what we want others to think we are. People engage in "back stage" behaviors when no audience is present. We whine and moan about the customers we deal with. Hair goes un-styled, make is wiped off. Clothing is comfortable and unrestricting. When a person conducts themselves in certain way not consistent with social expectations, it is often done secretly if this ...
Do you ever wonder why people do what they do? Does it surprise you that your friends or your siblings react so differently to the same situation? Some people tend to be friendly and open-minded. Some prefer to keep to themselves. Some are very careful in putting things together while some care less about how things are arranged. In a typical social setting, people’s different attitudes can be easily observed. While some people are busy making new friends, others seem to be the center of attraction and playing a leading role. Somewhere in the corner, someone is just on his or her own, observing what is happening while some don’t seem to be interested in anything happening. There are different people in the world who have personalities that make them unique. Since the days of Ancient Greece to the present day, it has been confirmed that there are four different temperaments: sanguine type, phlegmatic type, choleric type and melancholic type.
Cain, Susan. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. New York: Crown Publishers, 2012. 10. Print.
When encountered with a chance to feel accepted, people will take it no matter the consequences to others. For example, in "And Summer is Gone", Amy is excluding David to become more popular, causing him to feel as if he's responsible for her change in personality. To explain further, Amy sees an opportunity to become accepted however, she can't continue being friends with David. This point can also be found in "Adjö means Goodbye". Marget stops speaking with the narrator after her birthday because she thinks the narrator's responsible for nobody showing up. To clarify, Marget decides that to have more friends, she needs to stop being friends with the narrator. As a desperate act to feel accepted, people will go as far as to even change their appearance and personality.
For an example a girl may be rude and caustic to a peer, condescending to another, then subserviently humble to a teacher. This is a very feeble example; nevertheless it illustrates just how changeable the nature of human beings really are. This is a form of duplicity as this ‘flexibility’ of behavior brings up the question of whether anyone can accurately understand another character. Understanding is necessary in any sort of a social situation, as it is how relationships are built. Without understanding it would be hard to decide how one would act towards another. Human beings are chameleons, masters of disguise although they are loath to admit it. When confronted with the observation that they treat people differently, many people will react negatively. People are able to adapt almost any face when a given situation calls for it and posses at least two distinct faces.
1. Your reactions to others are determined by your perception of them, not by who they really are. You treat others according to how you perceive them to be. For example, when you walk into the classroom on the first day of school, you almost instantly start to form a judgment about everyone. There are three seats left you quickly decide not to sit next to the big, burly man with a scowl on his face, and the ugly little man who is talking to himself. Why, because you perceived them to be potentially threatening, but the truth maybe that the man with the scowl on his face is a florist that is very tired and is getting home too late. As for the other guy, he could be talking in to a recorde...
Humanity is defined by one major factor: one’s understating of the self. By understanding one’s self, one can understand society and the world that surrounds themselves. There is one thing that can often distort one’s personality, one’s identity. By identifying as one thing a person can often change how they act or do certain things. This is often found to hide one’s true motives or intention, but it can also be used to hide hidden factors that aren’t as prevalent. One’s personality and identity are very closely linked, and tend to play off one another. This fact can be show in within multiple works. To name a few authors who demonstrate this fact: Clifford Geertz, Horace Miner, and Andrei Toom. Their works seek to dive deeper
becomes more likable and down to earth. Being viewed this way by the general public causes
How you present yourself in this situation has a direct reflection to the type of environment that you are in. Depending on the environment that you are in, this will reflect your actions, i...