The death of a loved one, a break-up or loss of trust, the loss of a job, of a home, or other something fundamental to our well-being can shatter our sense of security and leave us questioning our most basic assumptions. For healing to occur, grief requires our attention and our respect. Because it can be very painful, it makes sense that we turn away, even though that does not serve us well in the long run. Going to the dark places and opening to our grief can be healing, creating a space to begin to live fully again. When we push our grief away, it seems to go underground and can affect our lives in many unpredictable ways. Stephen Levine, the well-known author on death and
In Mike Sager’s Death in Venice, Sager creates a vivid story about the gang in Venice as well as their addiction to cocaine. What I enjoyed about this article, was that it told a story in the perception of the gang members. It allowed me to see a glance through the lives of the gangs in the late twentieth century. Throughout the story, I felt multiple emotions, it ranged from disbelief to anger. It is astounding how Sager documented the lives of young males in Venice. As a Chicana, I was surprised by the actions in the article, I grew up in an environment where my daily life was not surrounded by gangs and drive-bys.
...t won’t provide any shortcuts. However, religion can provide a good moral support network, and serve as a healthy place to begin processing the grief experience.
The speakers in A. E. Housman poem “To an Athlete Dying Young” and Edward Arlington Robinson poem “Richard Cory” serve different purposes but uses irony and rhyme to help convey their message. In “To an Athlete Dying Young” the speaker’s purpose is to show the audience dying young with glory is more memorable than dying old with glory. In “Richard Cory” the speaker’s purpose is to show the audience “you can’t judge a book by its cover.”
Loss and How We Cope We all deal with death in our lives, and that is why Michael Lassell’s “How to Watch Your Brother Die” resonates with so many readers. It confronts the struggles of dealing with death. Lassell writes the piece like a field guide, an instruction set for dealing with death, but the piece is much more complex than its surface appearance. It touches on ideas of acceptance, regret, and misunderstanding, to name a few. While many of us can identify with this story, I feel like the story I brought into the text has had a much deeper and profound impact.
When death has taken someone from your life, you think of everything you said to them, your last words, memories, and the talks that happened. During this assignment, one will see the grieving process from me about a tenant that I took care of, and the impact this lady’s passing away, left me. Polan and Taylor (2015) says “Loss challenges the person’s priorities and importance of relationships.” (pg 226) When an individual loses someone that you see everyday and take care of, this effects you because, you build a relationship and get to know each other on a personal level. When my tenant was passing away it was painful. I didn’t know what to feel when I seen what was happening and knew what was taking place.
It is common for those experiencing grief to deny the death altogether. Many people do this by avoiding situations and places that remind them of the deceased (Leming & Dickinson, 2016). However, by simply avoiding the topic of death and pain, the mourner only achieves temporary relief while in turn creating more permanent lasting agony (Rich, 2005). In this stage, mourners will begin to feel the full weight of the circumstance. Whether the death of a loved one was sudden or long-term, survivors will feel a full range of emotions, such as sadness, guilt, anger, frustration, hopelessness, or grief. While many of these emotions can cause serious suffering, it is important for the survivor to feel whatever emotions come up and deal with those feelings, rather than trying to suppress any
These kind-hearted individuals may be: psychotherapists, grief counselors, or simply a concerned acquaintance (Smith, 2014). Religion has been used for thousands of years to alleviate the misery of grief. Spiritual tasks such as: Bible reading, mediation, and prayer can provide a person with solace. Support groups are another excellent way to attain relief. A grieving support group is full of other people dealing with grief; every individual at the support group has the opportunity to share their own mourning experience.
Individually, everyone has their own methods of dealing with situations and emotions regardless of any positive or negative connotation affixed to them. One prime example of this comes with grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying” suggests that there are five stages of mourning and grief that are universal and, at one point or another, experienced by people from all walks of life. These stages, in no particular order, are as follows: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. Each individual person works through these stages in different orders for varying levels of time and intensity, but most if not all are necessary to “move on.” In order for positive change to occur following a loss, one must come to terms with not only the event but also themselves.
When dealing with death individuals have different methods of coping with grief in order to make the mourning period more tolerable. Certain factors allow people to heal faster than others. In “Management of Grief” by Bharati Mukherjee, the protagonist Shaila manages to accept the death of her family and move on with her life. However, in “Death by Landscape” by Margaret Atwood, the main character, Lois has immense difficulty accepting the death of her best friend which causes her to lose meaning in her own life. Both Shaila and Lois deal with the same effects of grief which includes denial, finding closure, and feeling dissatisfied with their lives, however one is able to move forward while the other is not due to their specific positions. Death is a very traumatic devastating matter that can have distinct effects on people. Depending on how the ones impacted handle life after death they can either accept it or let it destroy their lives.
Have you ever had pain inside you for so long and didn’t know how to deal with it, talk about it, or even accept the reality of the situation? Grieving is a personal process that has no time limit, nor one “right” way to do it. (Axelrod) There are 5 stages to grief and loss. The more significance the loss the more intense the grief will be. (Smith and Segal).
Everyone copes with grief in his or her own ways. Tracy K. Smith, the poet laureate of the United States and
Rafael Whitney’s death, an unfortunate one at that, was likely a homicidal cause. The deceased’s specific cause of death was cardiac arrest. For this sudden cessation of function of the heart to occur naturally, a previous, often undiscovered, heart condition generally needs to have been present. Other ways for this medical emergency to occur must include some outside trigger, including an electrical shock, the use of illegal drugs, or an ill timed trauma to the chest. Besides evidence of sudden cardiac arrest, the victim’s heart displayed as generally healthy, showing no signs of previous heart conditions. There were no observed signs of electrical currents on the body and we were not informed of any illegal drugs being present in the bloodstream.
Death and the grief that comes with it can be one of the hardest battles a person has to overcome.
Leming, M.R. & Dickinson, G.E. (2011). Understanding dying, death, and bereavement (7th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
... loss manifest differently in different people. Some will mourn and after some time will find consolation and peace. They will forgive and forget and move on with their lives not putting fault on themselves. Others will have a more difficult time expressing their sadness and become melancholics. These people will not get over loss and will constantly blame and hate themselves for it. It is possible that the events melancholics have faced may be to hard to deal with and this will keep them from forgiving and forgetting.