Many people think that the way men and women communicate is determined by our sex, which is defined as the way we were created biologically. While others tends to think that communication differences between the men and women are because of our gender which is the way society has brought us up to think that men are to talk one way, an women another. West and Zimmerman explain it as” Gender is not something we are born with, and not something we have, but something we do” (qtd. Eckert and McConnell-Ginet 10). Men and women communicate differently not because it is a biologically encoded in our DNA but because society moles us to act upon our biological difference. I want to explore on this idea that society teaches men and women to converse differently to each other, assert themselves differently in certain situations talk more or less depending on your gender.
One of the most obvious ways we are able to compare gender communication a difference is through conversation. Most of people can think of a time when they’ve a had conversation with the opposite sex, and felt that they weren’t on the same page as the person you were talking to. This isn’t because you are just wired to think differently, this is because society has long told us that men must be competitive while women must take submissive roles in society. It is best put by Henley and Kramaraed stating “ because sexual communication is indirect, subtle, complex, and shaped by gendered norms for interaction, genuine miscommunication undoubtedly does take place”(qt. Eckert, Penelope & Ginet, Sally-McConnell 244). Ronald Macaulay disagrees when he writes “ There seems, however, to be a deep-seated desire to find essential differences between the speech of men and women tha...
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... “ Grammar and Gender” London: Yale University Press, 1987. Print
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Eckert, Penelope & Ginet, Sally-McConnell,”Language and Gender” New York:
Cambridge University Press, 2003. Print.
Holmes, Janet, “Women Talk Too Much. Exploring Thought Ed.Gary Goshgarian
New York: Person Longman, 2007,299-305.Print.
Kelley, Rhonda H. “ Communication between Men and Women in the Context of the Christian Community”. The Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood. 1996. Web. 2010
Macaulay, Ronald. “Sex Differences”. Exploring Thought Ed. Gary Goshgarian
New York: Person Longman, 2007, 307-313.Print.
Tannen, Deborah., “I’ll Explain it to You”: Lecturing and Listening”. Exploring Thought Ed. Gary Goshgarian. New York: Person Longman, 2007, 322-333.Print.
Deborah Tannen is the author of “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other”. Tannen is a linguist who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research, but has information published in several books and essays about this topic. Her research includes talking with several of groups and collecting data on the behalf of their response. In her essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,”Tannen argues that complications arise in marriages and relationships because individuals are not able to communicate with members of the opposite sex.
In recent years, gender differences have already been one of the most controversial issues in various research. As an important communication tool of mankind, language is inevitably involved in controversies. However, Rachel Rafelman, a Canadian journalist and the author of “The Party Line” express her thought and opinion in her essay. She not only have some great points on what and how women and men are likely to talk, but also have different points on the talking environment. She comes up with facts and fit real and particle examples in her essay to make it understood. Whereas, Ronald Macaulay, a professor of linguistics and the author of “Sex Difference” uses words of novels to argue and promotes them as a cause of reinforce to men’s and women’s stereotypes in his essay. He argues through his whole as rebuttal and gives some examples to oppose the preconceived notion of sex differences. Over all, both Rafelman and Macaulay are the good writer but Rafelman is having upper to prove her essay better organized using her tones as per requirement.
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
Harrington, Daniel J. (S.J.) The truth about Jesus and Women. Retrieved April 12, 2014 from
(week 4 reading 1). "Difference" is a non-violent approach that indicates that develops the notion that men and women communicate from and in different cultural worlds (reference ppp). Deborah Tannen is a major advocate of this position with her book You Just Don't Understand (1990). (reference week4 reading 1). Comparing conversational goals, Tannen argues that men aim to communicate factual information, whereas women are more concerned with building and maintaining cooperative, caring, emotional relationships. In addition, Cameron (kai imerominia einai to week 4 reading 1) again provides a very good example of ‘difference approach’ helping us to understand the way it entered the public view of language and gender. The example used is the book of a mass-writer, John Gray, who wrote a fictional tale about how the two sexes migrated to planet earth from the different planets of Mars and Venus and that each sex is acclimated to its own planet's society and customs, but not to those of the
Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women share. These networks also differ and as do the reasonings for their formation. Although we do not think that men and women need to change their cultures to effectively communicate, we do think that better communication is possible. One of the researchers we took a look at was Deborah Tannen. According to Tannen the reason that men and women do not communicate well is that men and women use language differently. Women take the attitude that conversation is to explore solutions to common problems while men concern themselves more with getting information and hard data from conversation. Tannen states that what women look for in communication is human connection, while men consider status to be most important. They are looking for independence and are constantly looking for higher accomplishments. Intimacy threatens this independence, so men have a tendency to avoid it. One of the old sayings about women is that they talk more than men. It turns out that it is not necessarily true. Women seem to talk more in private conversations than do men. Women do not generally have a fear of intimacy and therefore are much more open with one another during private conversations. It is more difficult for women to use this type of communication style in the public arena. In that case it is men that do most of the talking. Tannen ultimately argues that men use communication as a weapon. They use long explanations to command attention from who it is they are speaking to. They use it to convey information and to ultimately gain agreement. Tannen suggests that through even simple conversation men are continually protecting their status. She sugg...
This article was written to bring attention to the way men and women act because of how they were thought to think of themselves. Shaw and Lee explain how biology determines what sex a person is but a persons cultures determines how that person should act according to their gender(Shaw, Lee 124). The article brings up the point that, “a persons gender is something that a person performs daily, it is what we do rather than what we have” (Shaw, Lee 126). They ...
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
Communication is an essential part of human life. People perceive things in a different way because of ethnic background differences, attitudes and beliefs, etc. These differences may affect our ability to communicate with our counterpart. Therefore, it is necessary to keep our mind open so that we can reduce the risk of communication breakdown. Men and women are different as everyone knows that. However, their differences are no just physiological and anatomical. Recent researches have concluded that there are remarkable differences between the two genders in the way their brains process information, language, emotion, cognition etc. Scientists have discovered the differences in the way men and women carry out mental functions like judging speed, estimating time, spatial visualization and positioning, mental calculation. Men and women are strikingly different not only in these tasks but also in the way their brains process language. This could account for the reason why there are overwhelmingly more male mathematicians, pilots, mechanical engineers, race car drivers and space scientists than females. On the other hand, there are areas in which women outperform men. Women are naturally endowed with better communication and verbal abilities. They are also effective than men in some of the tasks like emotional empathy, establishing human relations, carrying out pre-planned tasks and creative expressions (Kimura 1999).
A lot of attention has been dedicated to the thought that women and men communicate very differently from one another. In this paper I am going to discuss the gender differences in communications between the opposite sexes. Many believe that gender plays a major role in communication but in all reality, that isn’t the case. Several factors play a part in how someone communicates with another person regardless of their sex. The main question is what role does gender play in communication or is it the roles our cultures put on genders’. In my opinion, it is the way we were raised that affects the way we communicate.
Wood, J. T. (2011). Gendered Verbal Communication. Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender, and Culture (10th ed., pp. 118-137). Boston, MA: Cengage.
Gender is the psychological characteristics and social categories that are created by human culture. Doing gender is the concept that humans express their gender when they interact with one another. Messages about how a male or female is supposed to act come from many different places. Schools, parents, and friends can influence a person. Another major factor that influences millions of impressionable females and males is television. Not only does the television teach each sex how to act, it also shows how one sex should expect the other sex to act. In the current television broadcasting, stereotypical behavior goes from programming for the very small to adult audiences. In this broadcasting range, females are portrayed as motherly, passive and innocent, sex objects, or they are overlooked completely or seen as unimportant entities.
Wardhaugh states different social norms defining the standards of being men or women, which has a profound influence on the language behavior shown by different genders. In other words, both men and women should possess the ability to show either masculinity or feminity through the language they use. When this ability overlaps with the other gender, however, one might be considered as as outsider of their own gender. He then lists the main differences between males and femals with the connection with language: genetic differences, social differences (e.g. various roles people take within a certain society), and linguistic differences (e.g. speech style and word choice). Doing so, he gives readers an indepth idea about how gender differences link to various language behaviors. He further explains how these differences are possibly created and constructed in society. Wardhaugh also examines a few common gender stereotypes, such as women talk more than men, and proves most of the stereotypes are wrong.
Gender communication focused on the method of expressing a thought or idea through the use of a gender in the relationship and the role of people. Some will argue that gender communication is qualified as a form of intercultural communication on the development of effective communication skills when we interact with an opposite sex. The communication between men and women have a huge difference because people from different culture speak different dialects. In the current society, it is common for us to hear phrases such as “ you men (women) are from a different planet,”these phrases are developed due to the miscommunication between men and women over the course of evolution. Men and women had developed different methods of
Essentially, we are all different. We use language differently and interpret language differently. This is what we base our perceptions of others on, thus it is ultimately what dictates our interaction with others. The fact that men’s and women’s interaction differs because the two sexes generally interpret things differently is not a strange phenomenon, because we are all different.