Slow Getting Up: A Story Of NFL Survival From The Bottom Of The Pile

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I’m thinking especially of “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk,” Ben Fountain’s shaggy novel, the winner of last year’s National Book Critics Circle Award for fiction. Here now is a book by Nate Jackson called “Slow Getting Up: A Story of NFL Survival From the Bottom of the Pile,” and it’s everything you want football memoirs to be but never are: hilarious, dirty, warm, human, honest, weird.

Mr. Jackson played six seasons (twice as long as the average National Football League career), from 2002 to 2008, with the San Francisco 49ers and the Denver Broncos, mostly at tight end. He managed to escape with some brain cells intact. He’s that unicornlike rarity among former football players: He can write.

A lot of the tragicomedy in “Slow Getting Up” springs from sex, mostly empty sex, a pastime even lowly N.F.L. players are able to pursue avidly. On a typical night in a club, Mr. Jackson and a few of his Bronco teammates turn around to find that “women have emerged from the fog, pulled toward us by our oversized pituitaries and our cave man libidos, vibrating the floorboards like a Dr. Dre bass line.” He remarks: “Now everything is open wide: arms, doors, and legs. We are young, physically powerful men with money.”

Mr. Jackson is frequently grateful for these women. At other times, he calls them “a mob of bloodthirsty jersey chasers” or “approachable vampires.” A bit of imagined dialogue goes this way. Her: “But you’re on the practice squad!” Him: “But you’re a slut!” You will learn more in this book about N.F.L. player’s hotel-room masturbation practices than you will soon be able to forget.

Mr. Jackson is just as observant about almost everything — injuries, coaches, drug tests, agents, reporters, violence, pranks, self-loathing. He ...

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...hould remove marijuana from their banned substances list. Don’t tell anyone about it: just stop testing for it. Pain is a big problem in the N.F.L.”

He continues: “No one ever overdoses from weed. The problem is pills and booze. A joint can alleviate the need for either and plant buttocks firmly on the couch, where a ‘MacGyver’ marathon takes on epic proportions.”

About pain and the media, he notes how players are schooled to talk to reporters. “Do say: We’re taking this thing one game at a time and we’ll see what happens. Don’t say: Man, I really would like to go home and eat a heroin sandwich.”

Mr. Jackson says he saw no evidence of steroid use in the N.F.L., but by the end of the book, injured and with his career in the balance, he briefly injects himself with human growth hormone before abandoning the idea.

He loves football; he thinks it’s a beautiful game,

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