Power of Love and Relationships
What makes us attracted to some people while others go unnoticed? Is there a real choice that we have or is attraction based on a combination of good looks and similar backgrounds, what kind of childhood you had, or even the way someone smells. The truth is that friendships and romantic relationships may all come down to being in the right place at the right time.
We are more likely to become friends with people we are close to like co-workers and neighbors. This is because repeated exposure to people creates a greater liking of that person. Liking someone more over time is called the mere-exposure effect (Feenstra, (2011).
People have a tendency to associate their opinions of other people with their current mood. For example, if you meet someone at a comedy club you will likely associate that person with laughter and fun (Heffner, C. (2011).
Individuals are sometimes attracted by similarity. If two people learn that they both have the same opinion of something or someone that might result in attraction. We are attracted to people who share the same interests. A vegetarian would not likely be attracted to a big game hunter. We are far more likely to like someone who likes you back. If someone does not like us we will probably not like them back.
We are more likely to want to date someone or become friends with someone who is physically attractive. Physical attractiveness has no effect on established friendships, However there is less satisfaction in marriages if one partner is less attractive than the other (Feenstra, (2011). This could be the reason that individuals tend to have spouses of similar attractiveness.
Power of Love and Relationships
For both people in a friendship or relationsh...
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...cy, passion and decision/commitment. Intimacy is our closeness or attachment to the other person. Passion is a physical attraction and desire for the other person. Decision/commitment is the level of commitment that we have to another person. First we realize that we are “in love” then we commit to develop a lasting relationship with that person. Empty love is a relationship that is based only on commitment. An example of this would be staying in a marriage for the sake of the children. When all parts of the triangle are involved the love is said to be consummate love.
An individual’s attraction to another person is usually due to proximity. We usually choose to befriend people that we work with or neighbors. Although we can make friends outside of our circle, we are more likely to form our deepest relationships from being in the right place at the right time.
Karbo Karen. "Friendship: The Laws of Attraction." Psychology Today 39.6 (2006): 90-95. EBSCOhost. Web. 18 Feb. 2014.
From a young age most people have gone through many relationships with other people who were not their family. Thus, we often acknowledge these relationships as friendships. But the word friend is too broad, so people categorize their friends to several types. In her book “Necessary Losses: The Lovers, Illusions, Dependencies and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow”, Judith Viorst divided friendships to six types. Those are convenience friends, special Interest friends, historical friends, crossroad friends, cross-generation friends and close friends. In my life, I have been friend with many people since I was little. Although I have met all six kinds of friend of Viorst, convenience friends and close friends are two important kinds of friends in my life.
Do opposites attract? With magnets, they do. And with math, two opposites make a positive. However, does this apply to human beings? Do opposites attract--do birds of a feather flock together? Many people have used these two phrases throughout many years, but what do they really mean? Are these two phrases talking about appearance or personality? In truth, looking at both of these phrases, they state the opposite of one another: They are contradicting each other! How can both sayings be true if one exists and the other does as well? “Opposites attract” states that people with opposite appearance, personalities, beliefs, attitudes, and every other attribute in a human being are the perfect match for each other. “Birds of a feather flock together” states that people who are similar in every way are perfect matches. Now, not every factor of a human being has to be opposite or similar, but these phrases are saying that most factors are either similar or opposing each other. So the critical question is do opposites attract? Do people pursue those who seem like their opposite or those who are similar, and how do we determine that? The only possible answer is to do some studies and determine whether or not opposites really do attract. And the studies that will be shown will conclude that opposites attract is a false statement.
Since time immemorial, social interactions, and the subsequent relationships that bloom from them, have been often explained by the old adage “Birds of a feather flock together”. This refers to a fact of simple human nature: we are most attracted to things that share traits with us. For example, those with a penchant for thrill-seeking behavior and activities will not be attracted to a person of shrewish nature. Our attraction to similar people fosters cognitive synergy, pack-behavior and a need for cohabitation which are just a few deeply rooted predispositions that our early ancestors needed in order to survive. In short, the want for similarity is pure human instinct. However, the equally as old adage “Opposites attract” rings just as true as the aforementioned one. As with most things in life, when there is an up there must be a down. Differences in traits, on a purely biological level, promote genetic stability and increased survivability of a race. Socially, these differences are like shampoo to conditioner; alone they function adequately enough but when used in conjunction, the result far outstrips the sum of its parts. Balance is often the key to having a fulfilling bond. While it is near impossible to discern the perfect ingredients for building relationships, it stands to reason that the presence of similarities (or lack thereof) between two people can have an effect on their initial encounter, future interactions and potential romantic involvement. Whether it has purely physical or social origins, research and the observations associated with it affirm that the role of similarity is not as simple as one mig...
We like those that are closer to us. Face to face interaction is more personal than a conversation over the phone or internet, which is why a good majority of long distance relationships don’t work. Going back to rewards, interactions between people- whether friends, family, or partners- are more rewarding when you can see a friendly smile, or have the comfort of hearing other’s voice. In a non laboratory study of attraction research, Donn Byrne, Charles Ervin, and John Lamberth conducted a computer dating field study. The study included a 50 item questionnaire on attitudes and personalities and was administered to 44 male- female pairs who were matched on the basis of minimal and maximal similarity of responses. The couples were introduced, given information about the basis of their matching, and asked to spend 30 minutes together in the Student Union. After their “coke date,” they returned to the examiner and were assessed independently. It was found that similarity and attractiveness wee related to the physical proximity of the two individuals after the date. (Byrne, Ervin, & Lamberth, 1970) Think about it like this: when you first started college, the first friends you probably made were you roommates or those who lived in the same building as you. Although those friendships may not last forever, it’s easy to make friends with those who are close to you. The reason who proximity is so important is because you often interact with those who are close to you. You cross paths often and become more familiar with those people. Research even proves that those who you recognize tend to be more likable to you- even if you’ve never spoke. (Miller, n.d.) Proximity is convenient and rewarding, whereas distance can be more costly. This is why many long distance relationships do not survive. The bottom line is we are more likely to meet and interact with those who are close to us. The more we talk with someone, the more
Through competition men demonstrate dominance through various ornamental displays. Women, however, compete through signals showing reproductive prowess for genetically fit and reliable (investment for child rearing) mates. Inter-sexual selection further influences sexual influences regarding choosing a mate. Humans desire those who show masculinity, an hourglass figure, and symmetrical facial characteristics. These traits influence who we pick for a mates, possibly more so than other attributes such as: humor and
Robert Nozick’s Love’s Bond is a clear summary of components, goals, challenges, and limitations of romantic love. Nozick gives a description of love as having your wellbeing linked with that of someone and something you love. I agree with ideas that Nozick has explained concerning the definition of love, but individuals have their meaning of love. Every individual has a remarkable thing that will bring happiness and contentment in their lives. While sometimes it is hard to practice unconditional love, couples should love unconditionally because it is a true love that is more than infatuation and overcomes minor character flaw.
In short, there are several different factors to consider in love and relationship. We now know that it all begins with all factors of attraction. We build bonds from these factors which can eventually turn into love and relationships. It doesn’t hurt to genuinely show care and concern for a stranger because that stranger could one day become a friend.
Attraction theory essentially posits that people are more likely to be attracted to those who have similarities to themselves, on the other hand, there are some who attract the opposite personality to theirs. Key concepts of this theory are that it is typified by various characteristics that a person has, as well as components of their personality and overall being. They may have similarities such as” hones/ethical” or their appearance is attractive to the person. (DeVito 2016) Another, is personality traits as self-esteem, shyness and optimism are likely to be shared and exhibited between people who have some form of relationship between them. The central strength of this theory is that it is people often prefer sharing
In analyzing the aspect of attraction, we take a look at attraction from the perspective of Elaine Hatfield and Ellen Berscheid. Hatfield and Berscheid are American social psychologists whose work has helped to provide insight into what we now know about relationship science. According to Hatfield and Berscheid’s theory on interpersonal attraction, people are attracted to one another for four main reasons. Each reason presented helps to develop the reasons for attraction and relational differences between Landon and Jamie.
First, proximity plays a critical role in attraction. The geographic location of two people is a strong indicator of whether they will attract. The likelihood and frequency of crossing paths with someone and striking up a conversation are drastically higher when
The people who , by chance, are the ones you see and interact with the most often are the most likely to become your friends and lovers (Aronson, Akert, Wilson, 2013). People find others attractive by the closeness of those around you and by the familiarity aspects of others around you. Familiarity is the aspect that makes propinquity work best, this is called the mere exposure effect. We all are inclined to have positive outlooks towards factors that are familiar to us. “The more often we see certain people, and the more familiar they become ,the more friendship blooms” (Aronson, Akert, Wilson, 2013). It is in our nature to form relationships with people who have close or familiar attitudes, beliefs, and other factors throughout social contexts likewise to our own. Relationship forming can be as simple as developing some of our relationships, due to the fact that we happen to be around certain people at a certain place and
The positive feelings we experience with regards to another person is referred to as interpersonal attraction. This can manifest in many forms from admiration to friendship and more carnal feelings. There are many factors which influence our attraction to others. Some of which are particularly subtle, while some of which are key to our understanding of attraction. I will discuss how Affiliation, proximity, familiarity, similarity and physical attractiveness all play a huge role in influencing our attraction to other people. These are considered by many to be some of the main factors which influence attraction.
Another aspect of emotional attraction is reciprocity, which by definition has to do with a mutuality of some sort. In respect to attraction, it is the mutual interest. Human beings tend to like those who like them and dislike those who dislike them. The perfect illustration of this effect is the middle school drama scene. Most of us have probably heard or even said a line something to the effect of, “I don’t like her/him because they talked badly of me.” Inversely, when another individual expresses an interest in you, you probably feel a sense of accomplishment or flattery that causes you to show an interest in them as well (Sternberg, 2013). As much as we would like to think we left this attitude in middle school, it follows us throughout life. Gaining the knowledge of another person’s interest in oneself can trigger a similar interest in the other from the time we are in middle school to the day we die.
Romantic love requires attraction, plus attachment. Someone can be very strongly attracted to another person, but never become attached. Without some feeling of attachment, attraction is nonspecific. Once you have begun to fall in love with someone, this process becomes more and more important and you begin to feel more attached to this person. When in this state of attachment, each person feels as if they are one person combined together.