Personal Narrative- A Seinfeld Addict's Dream Come True

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Personal Narrative- A Seinfeld Addict's Dream Come True

My heart ached. As constant as the waves of the sea slap the rocks, so the emptiness lurked. The icy hand of desperation wrapped me up and constricted. I was suffocating in that dismal abyss of loathsome sitcoms. I lamented but nobody heard, my pain had no companions.

"No! Why? Why? Why?" I cried. I dropped down on my knees and flailed my arms wildly. My lamentation sliced through the air like a blade through butter. "Worry not Michael, there is counseling available." my mom replied. "This is way beyond counseling mother!" I retorted. "Don't you realize that Seinfeld is going of the air? Seinfeld isn't coming back, and there's nothing anyone can do."

Mom tried to soothe me. "There's always other shows, maybe Veronica's Closet would appeal to you."

"Veronica's Closet! Veronica's Closet! I would rather be crushed in the gears of a combine than spend thirty minutes of my life viewing that sorry sitcom." I huffed. "There will never be another show like Seinfeld." I stomped off to wallow in my own self pity like a pig in warm mud.

There was no sleep in store for me that night. I was tormented by my own demons. I was agonized by the thought of blank Thursdays. Discomfort held hands with the black of night, and the black of night greeted me with a sour embrace.

The next morning, it was such a strenuous struggle to rise from my bed, I could have sworn I had been lying in quicksand all night. Walking in school was like swimming in a thick marsh. I had nothing to look forward to. Thursdays used to be the greatest day of the week, but now, all Thursdays held was gloom. That day, all I knew was despair, and it smothered me. This went on until I met up with a friend o...

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...h each sinister laugh. As quickly as Jerry had appeared, he had vanished. He was gone. He left us locked in here for the rest of our lives.

"That was odd." Jesse stated firmly.

"Well, at least we still hold the uncut and unedited Seinfeld episodes." Ben pointed out.

"Boy am I glad at least for that." I told them. "Though most would consider this situation rather bleak and dismal, I see it as a blessing."

"On what grounds do you say that?" inquired Jesse. "It seems Mr. Seinfeld neglected to take his VCR along with him. Throw in a video Ben!" I proclaimed excitedly. "As long as the VCR is functional, and we can watch these episodes, we'll be okay." With that, our quest had concluded. Jesse, Ben, and I lived happily ever after in Jerry Seinfeld's apartment on the arcane island of Duergar. Gloomy Thursdays are nevermore. May the Seinfeld dream live forever.

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