Identity in ‘Who Will Light the Incense When Mother is Gone’
Who am I? A question that many Americans ask themselves daily. In today’s world, we are constantly being thrown new ideas. At our fingertips, we have access to millions of people, to the way they live, and to who THEY are. It is easy and common to begin to question your own values and beliefs with so much exposure. In the world our parents lived in, things were much simpler. For many of them finding themselves was a matter of simply inheriting the values and traditions of their parents and community. In the essay ‘who will light the incense when my mother is gone’, Andrew Lam shows the struggles he faces when he is brought up a different way than his parents. He explores the inner
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At the beginning of the story, Lam tells the reader about a conversation he heard between his aunt and his mother. His mother asked his aunt, “Who will light incense to the dead when I’m gone?, to which his aunt responded, “Honestly, I don’t know. None of my children will do it, and we can forget the grandchildren. They don’t even understand what we are doing when we pray to the dead. I guess when we’re gone, the ritual end”(Lam 1). At first, the reader may be confused as to what the mother is talking about, but as they read on it becomes increasingly the clear that the lighting of the incense refers to a very traditional practice in which the Vietnamese pray to their deceased ancestors. More importantly, the lighting of the incense represents lam’s mother's extreme devotion to their culture and …show more content…
When Lam was a child he was also just as devout to his traditions as his mother was. In his own words, he “paid obeisance to the dead, prayed for good health” (Lam 1). As Lam got older, he rejected his roots more and more. We see the theme of rebellion in Lam’s actions as grew up and gradually shed his Vietnamese roots. He speaks of one instance where he refused to speak Vietnamese, he told his mother that he was not going to use it when he moved out anyway. Acts like this demonstrate Lam’s desire to stand firm in his own, new beliefs. His new identity encompassed American culture. American culture is much more self-centered, less family oriented, and overall more concerned with your own success and prosperity. lam ‘s mother recognizes that, and we see that in the story. “America gave him too much freedom. America made him self-centered, introspective.”. Seeing her son change made her feel upset, she felt she was losing an aspect of herself. Lam feels that way about himself as well, we see it in the guilt he experiences upon hearing his mother's
Although his parents had no previous knowledge of America’s society, they were able to learn from watching films and reading books. When Liu was born, they decided it was a good idea for him to adapt to this new environment that may benefit his life with better opportunities that the culture provides. Some of these opportunities involved independence and a luxurious lifestyle that they thought was different than the Chinese culture. Liu took pride in believing that he was considered an Asian American when he perceives himself as a unique individual coming from two different cultures. He learns about the daily lives of white people and eventually made friends who were able to support and teach him to fit in with the society. During his life in America, Liu faced struggles and tries to overcome them by learning how to get along with white people, using the social-class to help him make connections with other white people, and getting involved with his internship which provided a good career opportunity while becoming an upper class person. Overall, Liu’s success in achieving his goals of individuality, career opportunities, and lifestyle as well as understanding himself about his Asian American
Michael MacDonald’S All Souls is a heart wrenching insider account of growing up in Old Country housing projects located in the south of Boston, also known as Southie to the locals. The memoir takes the reader deep inside the world of Southie through the eyes of MacDonald. MacDonald was one of 11 children to grow up and deal with the many tribulations of Southie, Boston. Southie is characterized by high levels of crime, racism, and violence; all things that fall under the category of social problem. Social problems can be defined as “societal induced conditions that harms any segment of the population. Social problems are also related to acts and conditions that violate the norms and values found in society” (Long). The social problems that are present in Southie are the very reasons why the living conditions are so bad as well as why Southie is considered one of the poorest towns in Boston. Macdonald’s along with his family have to overcome the presence of crime, racism, and violence in order to survive in the town they consider the best place in the world.
Chang-Rae Lee’s Native Speaker expresses prominent themes of language and racial identity. Chang-Rae Lee focuses on the struggles that Asian Americans have to face and endure in American society. He illustrates and shows readers throughout the novel of what it really means to be native of America; that true nativity of a person does not simply entail the fact that they are from a certain place, but rather, the fluency of a language verifies one’s defense of where they are native. What is meant by possessing nativity of America would be one’s citizenship and legality of the country. Native Speaker suggests that if one looks different or has the slightest indication that one should have an accent, they will be viewed not as a native of America, but instead as an alien, outsider, and the like. Therefore, Asian Americans and other immigrants feel the need to mask their true identity and imitate the native language as an attempt to fit into the mold that makes up what people would define how a native of America is like. Throughout the novel, Henry Park attempts to mask his Korean accent in hopes to blend in as an American native. Chang-Rae Lee suggests that a person who appears to have an accent is automatically marked as someone who is not native to America. Language directly reveals where a person is native of and people can immediately identify one as an alien, immigrant, or simply, one who is not American. Asian Americans as well as other immigrants feel the need to try and hide their cultural identity in order to be deemed as a native of America in the eyes of others. Since one’s language gives away the place where one is native to, immigrants feel the need to attempt to mask their accents in hopes that they sound fluent ...
One type of effect the Chinese mothers’ expectations has in their relationship with their “Americanized” daughter is negative since the mothers are unable to achieve anything. An-Mei Hsu expects her daughter to listen and obey as the young ones do in Chinese culture, but instead receives a rebellious and stubborn daughter, “‘You only have to listen to me.’ And I cried, ‘But Old Mr. Chou listens to you too.’ More than thirty years later, my mother was still trying to make me listen’” (186-187). Instead of the circumstances improving, the mother is never able to achieve anything; her forcing and pushing her daughter to the Chinese culture goes to a waste. They are both similar in this sense because both are stubborn; the daughter learns to be stubborn through American culture and wants to keep herself the way she is, whereas the mother wants to remove this teaching from American culture and does not give u...
Similarly, Wong also grew up in America with a traditional Chinese mother. In contrast, Wong’s upbringing involves her mother forcing her into attending two different schools. After her American school day, Wong continues on with Chinese school to learn both cultures. Her mother felt it was her duty to “[. . .] learn the language of [her] heritage” (Wong 144). This puts a burden on Wong as she starts to despise the Chinese culture.
In the short story, "Two Kinds" by Amy Tan, a Chinese mother and daughter are at odds with each other. The mother pushes her daughter to become a prodigy, while the daughter (like most children with immigrant parents) seeks to find herself in a world that demands her Americanization. This is the theme of the story, conflicting values. In a society that values individuality, the daughter sought to be an individual, while her mother demanded she do what was suggested. This is a conflict within itself. The daughter must deal with an internal and external conflict. Internally, she struggles to find herself. Externally, she struggles with the burden of failing to meet her mother’s expectations. Being a first-generation Asian American, I have faced the same issues that the daughter has been through in the story.
In the text, “The American Cultural Configuration” the authors express the desire of anthropologists to study their own culture despite the difficulty that one faces attempting to subjectively analyze their own society. Holmes and Holmes (2002), use the adage “not being able to see the forest through the trees” (p. 5) to refer to how hard it is for someone to study something they have largely taken for granted. Holmes' article focuses predominately on paradoxes within our own culture, many of which we don't notice. In a paradox, two contradictory statements can appear to be true at the same time. This essay looks at two paradoxes commonly found in everyday life: the individual versus the family and religion.
The second and third sections are about the daughters' lives, and the vignettes in each section trace their personality growth and development. Through the eyes of the daughters, we can also see the continuation of the mothers' stories, how they learned to cope in America. In these sections, Amy Tan explores the difficulties in growing up as a Chinese-American and the problems assimilating into modern society. The Chinese-American daughters try their best to become "Americanized," at the same time casting off their heritage while their mothers watch on, dismayed. Social pressures to become like everyone else, and not to be different are what motivate the daughters to resent their nationality. This was a greater problem for Chinese-American daughters that grew up in the 50's, when it was not well accepted to be of an "ethnic" background.
Firstly, one’s identity is largely influenced by the dynamics of one’s relationship with their father throughout their childhood. These dynamics are often established through the various experiences that one shares with a father while growing up. In The Glass Castle and The Kite Runner, Jeannette and Amir have very different relationships with their fathers as children. However the experiences they share with these men undou...
Pham’s trip however has the opposite effect. He shows us the Vietnamese culture through the eyes of an assimilated Vietnamese American trying to get back in touch with his roots. He hopes to get in touch with his roots mostly through interaction via food. In Pham’s case that’s exactly what he does, with disastrous results bringing to light his inability to...
...me Americans has been realized. Wong is multicultural and not Chinese. However, when she examines back to her childhood, she feels miserable. Her unhappiness is significant because this feeling shows us her present concept on her initial heritage. She can understand why her mother took them to the Chinese school at this issue. She could be an American and still having Chinese heritage. There are many All-Americans but she likes to be someone who is multicultural, and she had numerous possibilities to hold her Chinese culture. The reason for her unhappiness is that she missed these possibilities. She thought that maintaining more than one backgrounds is interesting. Through being an All-American Girl and departing her Chinese culture, she came to realise the importance of her original heritage and the factual significance of being multicultural.
Who is the birthday party a rite of passage for, the birthday boy or his mother?
In essence, he was shunned” (Hongo 4) by the white people who could not believe that he would attack their superior American ways. According to writers such as Frank Chin and the rest of the “Aiiieeeee!” group, the Americans have dictated Asian culture and created a perception as “nice and quiet” (Chin 1972, 18), “mama’s boys and crybabies” without “a man in all [the] males.” (Chin 1972, 24). This has become the belief of the preceding generations of Asian Americans and therefore manifested these stereotypes. Those authors who contest these “American made” stereotypes are said to betray the American culture and white power around them, and to be “rocking the boat” in a seemingly decent living situation.
Through the parallelism of past and present feelings, the reader sees the confusion that Hang feels. Hang struggles with her feelings toward her Aunt. While Hang does love her Aunt, she does not understand Aunt Tam’s motive to help her. Tam’s persistence for Hang to continue family rituals and shrines confuses Hang. Hang does not understand the importance of these things to Aunt Tam. Unlike Aunt Tam, Hang does not believe in all of the Vietnamese traditions. This is Hang’s first step to finding her self-purpose. This also allows the reader to see Hang’s feelings towards cultural events and shows the shift in Vietnamese culture. The use of no flashbacks during Aunt Tam’s funeral and funeral planning show that Hang has never felt the way she has. At this time in the novel Hang has found her own purpose therefore flashbacks cannot be used to portray Hang’s feelings and
The short story, “Unlighted Lamps,” by author Sherwood Anderson is about a relationship between a father and his daughter. Their relationship is a stressful one because neither of them talk to each other, nor show their emotions. Throughout the story, you find out why their relationship is the way that it is, and why it is hard for her father to talk to her. The unlighted lamps in the story represent flashbacks of memories wherever light dances across something.