Narrative Essay On Eating Disorders

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One minute I am sitting at the dinner table, smiling and laughing in the company of my friends. Then there is a sudden change of thought and out of nowhere I find myself headed upstairs in a panic. I know this feeling all too well by now and I know it is a feeling I have no control over. I try to calm myself down with deep breathes, but I cannot help the tears that starts inevitably streaming down my face. In an effort to hide my emotions I lock myself in the bathroom stall and slide down to the floor, rubbing both hands against my face to whip away the tears. I tuck my knees towards my chest and wrap my legs with my arms in an attempt to find some sort of comfort. It takes all of the energy out of me to stay quiet in hopes that no one will hear. I cannot fathom the idea of my strong, perfectly projected image …show more content…

The team had girls of all sizes and I was surrounded in an environment with so much positivity. I found myself slowly losing the control I had over food, eating more, and putting on weight. Although not happy about the weight gain, I did not feel as pressured to be stick thin and so I let it slide. I had many failed attempts over the years to restrict my food intake and accepted the fact that my wonderful self-control was gone. It started to hit me that I was losing the ideal body that I had worked so hard to get and without this body, I was losing perfection. I began to miss being underweight, being able to count my ribs through my back and going to sleep at night with my hips protruding out over my concave stomach. The idea of purging sat quietly for years in the back of my mind as I always knew it would be a last resort if I needed to lose a few pounds. With college dance program auditions coming up, I knew that I had to get back the perfect dancer body that all of those books deemed necessary for

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