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The impact of divorce on children literature review
The impact of divorce on children literature review
The impact of divorce on children literature review
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A lot of children tend to develop “normally” with two married parents. Others don’t develop the same. To me, children who go through divorce don’t develop normally. My parents are no longer together and I thought I turned out okay. I have social skills, friends, and a close relationship with both my parents. On the other hand, I believe some children or teenagers have a difficult time developing when going through the process of a divorce. It could lead to trust issues, make the kids feel alone, change the perspective on marriage, and affect the way they communicate.
My parents got a divorce when I was a sophomore in high school. The divorce took its toll on me. At the beginning, I started having trust issues. When you’re a kid you believe your parents are going to be together forever. I trusted the fact whole heartedly and witnessing my parents go through a divorce made me believe that no one could be trusted. I remember doing things my way because I couldn’t trust anyone to follow through with the task I gave them in group projects. In addition, I was afraid to talk about my parent’s divorce because no one in my circle of friends at school went through the same condition I did. My parent’s divorce led me to having trust issues and made it hard to confide in anyone.
I usually don’t feel alone. I had a great deal of friends and a large family. Still, I felt lonely and like my parents didn’t care. Whenever my brother and I visited our father, he would complain to us that my mom owes him a lot of money. He treated us like his messengers and not his children. Same goes for my mother. She was treating us like carriers and not like kids. My parents only care about themselves at the time. My feelings were never taken into consideration...
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...friends” then they would interpret my words differently and make me look like a bad person. Rumors were spread, arguments took place, and I lost those two friends because they couldn’t treat me right. I learned to not be friends with anyone who might spread rumors about me or that might be too easily offended. I found out that the popular kids can be mean sometimes. I was made fun of for my oversized sweater. The sweater used to belong to my older cousin whom I admired. I didn’t know why they thought it looked funny when I believed it was the best piece of clothing I ever owned. The popular group taught me to keep dressing the way I want. Then my attire could make the girl upset and I would be the one comfortable at school. Therefore, my peers taught me about life and myself. This group affected me because I learned to not fall under the norms and make my own trends.
No one would talk to her, recess was spent in anguish, and she would find garbage and spoiled food in her book bag. As she progressed into 5th grade, some of the social atmosphere began to shift in subtle but profound ways. Being accepted into a clique is all that matters. Instead of being admired for class participation, as in earlier years she was laughed at and labeled as “teacher’s pet.” She said the rules were simple “shun or be shunned—if you weren’t willing to go along with the crowd, you would become the reject.”
Boy meets girl. Girl and boy fall in love and get married. Girl and boy have children and life could not possibly get any better. Many years later: Boy and girl start to notice something different in their relationship, something wrong. They decide that their relationship is over, whether they’re both happy with that decision or not and they divorce. Boy and girl’s children see them divorce. Children process the divorce in different ways, and it stays with them for the rest of their lives. People who experience a divorce are affected by it, whether they want to be or not. More often than not, those effects are negative. Before any parents make a rash decision, and before any children put judgment on their parents for messing them up, let’s take a look at the thing people call DIVORCE and how it affects those involved.
When divorced, the children go through many emotional changes. "Children of divorce are more depressed and aggressive toward parents and teachers than are youngsters from intact families. They are much more likely to develop mental and emotional disorders later on in life" (Leo 2000). Children and teenagers have a hard tim...
High school was, well, I guess you could say normal, but what is normal? I went to class, complained about the food, teachers, projects, you know, the “normal stuff”. In high school, looking back, I guess you could say that I was the one who had all the answers and always knew what was going on. As my one classmate put it one day “Holly’s like the New York Times; she always knows what’s going on.” I was the one that knew what the homework was, what the test would be on, if you needed notes you could copy mine because I had them all, and this was a big one; need help with your homework? Ask Holly. I’m not trying to say that I was an over-achiever, I too slacked off just as much as the next person, I guess my point is, is that I wouldn’t have been that girl if it hadn’t been for my friends.
As the case may be, children are strongly affected by divorce. Some react differently than do others, but all experience some kind of emotional change. Exposure to a highly
...air style. I was trying to fit in while finding out who I was. I tried different things by joining the Asian American Club, National Honors Society, and H2O Bible club. In addition, I learned how to play volleyball. Through those clubs and the friends I met, I found out what defined me as a person and what I had a passion for. I was able to define myself by junior year as a person who was a perfectionist, athletic, nice, and loved to dance. I can relate to Cady from the movie because she also was trying to find her identity and how she fit into a new environment. I am glad that I had parents and friends that were able to support me and guide me into the right direction to become the person I am now. My parents would rebuke me when I was wrong and my friends were there to keep me accountable of my actions.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
It is rough on the child and causes their view of family to be damaged. Teenagers who experience one or more divorces are three times more likely to need psychological help within a year according to a study done by Peter Hill who studies adolescent development. Divorce is a confusing time for children. Some might think they did something to cause the divorce and wonder if they could’ve prevented it. The child will most likely carry around guilt of breaking up their parents, even if they had nothing to do with it. A study done of people whose parents divorced six years earlier showed that they were more lonely, unhappy, anxious, and insecure than those children who never experienced
The effect of divorce on children?s learning and behavior is a major problem in today's society. Everyday, children everywhere deal with this issue. Nowhere is this displayed more prevalently than in our schools. Divorce hurts children more than parents realize.
The loss of a parent can cause loss in knowledge, skills, and resources from the parents. They loose such things as support from the parent in finances, emotions, and care. Children tend to have a harder time dealing with a divorce the more divorces their parents go through. The better the parents adjust to these losses, the better the children will adjust, and the fewer problems that will come about. When the child is in a single parents home, there is usually a loss of money and therefore, resources. This can lead to the child being jealous of other children and having lower self esteem.
Divorce is an emotionally painful experience for everyone involved, especially toward the children in the family. But yet, the law officials continue fabricating laws and devising regulations to make it harder for spouses seeking a divorce or separation to get one. The family has to deal with child custody and support, spousal support such as counseling, property distribution, and a possible name change. Divorce is not only a financial struggle for the families involved, but it is also a nuisance between family relationships.
Marriage is no longer taken seriously; commitment and monogamy are no longer an essential ingredient. For most couples today, it’s not even considered a part of marriage. The negative effects that divorce has on children should be the number one consideration when a couple hits that hard time in their relationship. Children are psychologically and socially affected by divorce and may need counseling either at the time of their parent’s divorce or in the future. They may react instantly by getting lower grades or becoming depressed or anxious.
I remember a time a few years back when I had a group of fairly close friends. We would always hang out with eachother and we would await the day at which we were to enter high school together. When we finally reached high school, there where now a whole new group of people that were older than I. I still had my group of friends, but gradually I started to lose one of them. My friend was going against my other schoolmate, and before I knew it I was hurling the same insults as they were. It was all part of a process; a process, I thought, was going to make me popular. I thought that if I could make someone look lower than I was, I would gain self-confidence and become more popular.
The first time I really felt alone was when I was leaving Kentucky. We were at the airport saying our last good-byes. I was leaving everything and everyone that I loved, understood, cared for, to come and study in the Bay area. I was leaving familiar territory and moving into an unknown, unfamiliar world. I was saying good-bye to people who I had either grown up with or those who had seen me grow up. All my memories and emotions were attached to them. They were people who I thought really knew me and understood me. Yet every one of them had their own impression of how I should feel. Excitement, joy, fear, and sadness being the most popular. However nobody really knew what I was feeling. I felt all these emotions blended into an unique emotion of my own. One that I could not share with even my best friend.
Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Every child caught up in the distress of divorce has a hard time coping with it and imagining their life without a parent. Their anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through these emotions at different levels and at different times depending on the child’s age. How bad or how well children handle the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind.