My Experience At School Chores

I watched out my friend’s window as her 12-year-old chopped wood in the back yard. I wasn’t sure which was more amazing, that he was helping without having been asked or that my friend was allowing her son to use an axe, seemingly with no undue anxiety on her part. He entered the house, taking off boots and gloves before shoving a couple of logs into the woodstove.

Why was her child taking on such grown up tasks when I could barely get mine to clean their rooms? “She must need the help” my own father casually responded when I described the scene to him later that evening. I needed the help too, I decided, and I needed to figure out how to get it.

It’s easy for household chores to drop off our busy to do lists when everything from homework to swim team to piano lessons battle for our family’s limited time. However, even if we think that getting the child to do the housework will be harder than doing it ourselves, household chores can be just as beneficial as any extracurricular activity for our children’s social and emotional growth. Experts agree that household chores can give children confidence and self-discipline, encouraging children to see themselves as an indispensible part of the family. Luckily even a child as young as two or three years old can begin simple chores.

After many years and careful study, I now have a teenager who often takes out the garbage without being asked and a four year old who is almost solely responsible for the feeding of our cat. Here are some tips I’ve found helpful along the way:

1) Give your child choices

Children like feeling as if they have choices. If they are able to choose from a variety of chores, they are more likely to accomplish the chores happily. One child may prefer emptying the ...

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...inish your chores you can play Minecraft or watch TV.” “As soon as you’re done with your chores we’ll be able to go see your friends.” “As soon as your chores are finished, I’ll be ready to start making those cookies we were talking about.” The use of “as soon as” puts the responsibility for doing chores in the child’s own control, even as it makes him or her realize that Mom or Dad is running the show. In these scenarios, the parent doesn’t really care whether or not the child gets to watch TV or eat cookies. If the child wants to play Minecraft, she will get her bed made. If he wants to go see his friends, he will vacuum the living room. And if not, the child knows that the blame is his or hers alone.

Whether your children are toddlers or teenagers, these small tips can help transform household chores from a battleground to a regularly scheduled part of the day.