Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
"Home Burial" poem is from Jupiter.
I analyzed communications and the relationship factors from the poem, "Home Burial," in light of the guide for improving communications and relationships Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. In the poem "Home Burial," characters do not understand one another because of a lack of communication. I found plenty of techniques and ideas that the couple in Frost's "Home Burial," could have used from the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus to strengthen their marriage.
Throughout the poem "Home Burial" the characters did not have a clear awareness of their differences because they did not know that men and women are like from different planets. John Gray states, "Not only do men and women communicate differently, but they think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need, and appreciate differently" (Gray 5). Without that knowledge, the characters are judgmental with one another. For example, "You make me angry. I'll come down to you. / God, what a woman! And it's come to this, / A man can't speak of his own child that's dead. / You can't because you don't know how to speak" (Lines 72-75). Husband and wife show a harsh attitude towards each other without thinking about huge differences that men and women have.
Another example of a lack of communication from the poem Gray explains, "No matter how many times she tells him that he's not listening, he doesn't get it and keeps doing the same thing. She wants empathy, but he thinks she wants solutions" (Gray 15). This theory relates to the poem "Home Burial," because the wife wants her husband to show empathy about the child's death. The husband, however, does not seem to have the empathy she ...
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... a woman and acted upon Gray's theory, their relationships and marriage would not fall apart.
All of those techniques can make a world of difference, especially those that have to do with improving communication. As Dr. John Gray explains, "These differences can come between the sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling loving relationships"(Gray 252) However, if the characters in the poem "Home Burial" would have reviewed the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus before their marriage, then they would have understanding, thoughtfulness, feelings, positive reactions, and love.
Works Cited
Frost, Robert. "Home Burial." The Day Poems Poetry Collection. Timothy K. Oct. 6. 2001 http://www.daypoems.net/poems/2646.html
Gray, John. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. New York: HarperCollins, 1992
Take for occurrences, section 9, "men are somewhat Pollyannaish about the condition of their marriage, while their spouses are sensitive to the inconvenience." This is not generally so for one side or the other. It is increasingly that couples need to take in the dialect of the other individual and recollect what it took to get the individual
Frost, Robert. “The Lover Not Taken.” Literature and the Writing Process. Ed. Elizabeth McMahan et al. 8th ed. Upper Saddle River: Pearson, 2007. 696-697.
Deborah Tannen wrote “ Talk in the Intimate Relationship” to help people learn something about how men and women's interactions differ. She is a language scholar and has past experience of failed relationships and she feels as though this was because of lack of communication. Her main focus is on metamessages, these are messages that go beyond what we say. She states that the people that are literal minded, miss out on the context of what communication is. What this essay will consist of being what Tannen calls metamessages, summarizing her article on how men and woman talk, deciding whether Tannen is favorable to both genders and last but not least if I agree to an extent with Tannen says in her article.
From the beginning of society, men and women have always been looked at as having different positions in life. Even in the modern advanced world we live in today, there are still many people who believe men and women should be looked at differently. In the work field, on average women are paid amounts lower than men who may be doing the exact same thing. Throughout the novel, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston brings about controversy on a mans roles. Janie Crawford relationships with Logan, Joe and Tea Cake each bring out the mens feelings on masculine roles in marital life.
...s that have a much defined rhyme scheme. Therefore, the poem becomes a more serious and personal epilogue to seal the past behind him, perhaps, having therapeutic aspects for Frost himself in retelling the grief they (Frost and his wife) went through. The title of the poem ‘Home Burial’ itself could be read as a double-entendre; these being the death and the burial of a child and the symbolic death of a marriage. An alternative narrative line has been concluded by Benjamin West saying ‘The true subject of the poem – from a biographical perspective – is the death of Frost’s nephew, child of his sister-in-law Leona White Harvey, in 1895. It was her relationship with her husband that inspired the poem.’ (West:2011). This alternative opinion conveys that ‘Home Burial’ is not about Frost’s own life although many other critics conceive it is about the death of his son.
Communications generally occur in body languages: how the individuals interpret each other. Her essay is an event that is reoccurring more and more lately. The event results in a failure in marriage. In today’s society more and more people are splitting up or having divorces due to miscommunications. The essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” that Deborah Tannen wrote is much use of today because it explains where miscommunications happen and she has her own studies and research to back it up. The essay goes into depth about her ideologies that cause miscommunications. Look at a miscommunication twice and do not be quick to judge because it will save plenty of
The narrator’s wife knew Robert for a long time because she used to work for him and his wife had died so she was the one who was taking care of him since he was all alone. “I wasn’t enthusiastic about his visit” (Carver 2) said the narrator. The narrator did not like the blind man because he was extremely close with his wife and they were always sending each other tapes in the mail to keep in touch. Since the narrator was not such a big fan of the blind man, he did not understand why it was such a important time when Robert had asked to touch his wife’s face during her last day working with him. She was working with him all summer but he was blind so he did not even know what she looked like so when he touched her face, she wanted to write a poem about it since it was an important time during her summer job helping him. A while after the narrators wife worked with Robert, they ended up communicating again and she sent him a recording of her talking about her recent life. “She loved her husband but she didn’t like it where they lived and she didn’t like it that he was a part of the military-industrial thing” (Carver 2). The narrator was getting jealous of this relationship between the two of them because it seemed to be going better then his and his wife’s relationship. Since the blind man moved into their house for a period of time,
Communication is a vital component of everyday relationships in all of mankind. In plays, there are many usual staging and dialogue techniques that directors use to achieve the attention of the audience. However, in the play, “Post-its (Notes on a Marriage)”, the authors Paul Dooley and Winnie Holzman use both staging and conversation in order to convey the struggles of modern relationships. The play is unconventional in how it attempts to have the audience react in a unique way. The authors use staging and conversation to portray to the audience that there are complex problems with communication in modern relationships.
“Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences” (Gray 14). Gender communication differences are very complex, yet somewhat remarkable. Dr. John Gray explains that it is as if men and women come from different planets. Unfortunately, many times men and women forget that they are supposed to be different (10). In addition to the biological natural differences between males and females, society treats and values each gender very differently, all of which plays a big part in how they communicate (Papadopoulos 2). Dr. Gray states, “When you remember that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, everything can be explained” (10). If a man and woman do not take the time to understand, respect, and become aware of their differences,
The narrator’s name is unknown through out the story, yet at the beginning the reader is given her husbands’ name (John), and the narrator’s identity through the novella is as John’s wife, who is dominated by John in their relationship. This effect created by Gillman masterfully establishes the lack of a female determined identity. He diagnoses her, and with the exception of her being tired and wanting to write, John continues to establish that her health is unwell. John is the dominant personality in the marriage he does not see her as an equal in their relationship. This is a wonderful tone and mood used to reflect the cultural norm at the time of Gillman's writing. She is not viewed as an equal, she is treated like and often referred to as being a child. When she decides that she likes a downstairs bedroom next to the nursery, John insists on her having the bedroom upstairs with the yellow wallpaper. The narrator/wife hates the color of the room and describes the color as “repellent, almost revolting” (432) When she asks for her husband to change the color, he decides to not give in to her wants, and the reader is informed that John, who knows best, does this for her benefit. It is reflective of a parent not wanting to give into their child's whims for fear the child will become spoiled and will expect to get everything they ask for. Though her husband belittles her, she still praises everything he does and sees everything he is doing for...
The narrator's insensitivity reveals itself early in the story when his wife's blind friend, Robert, comes for a visit after the death of his wife. Almost immediately in the beginning of the story the narrator admits "A blind man in my house was not something I looked forward to." [Carver 2368] He even goes so far as to suggest to his wife that he take the man bowling. He hears the story of Robert's dead wife and can not even imagine " what a pitiful life this woman must have led." [Carver 2370] The narrator is superficial, only recognizing the external part of people and not recognizing the value of a person on the inside.
In this play, the men and women characters are separated even from their first entrance onto the stage. To the intuitive reader (or playgoer), the gender differences are immediately apparent when the men walk confidently into the room and over to the heater while the women timidly creep only through the door and stand huddled together. This separation between genders becomes more apparent when the characters proceed in investigating the murder. The men focus on means while the women focus on motive: action vs. emotion. While the men...
In “Home Burial” by Robert Frost, Frost portrays an argument between a couple and examines the grief two individual’s go through along with their response to each other’s grief. The poem follows a married couple and illustrates a confrontation between the two concerning their feelings towards the loss of their son, but the confrontation later reveals a deeper problem in their relationship. Frost, drawing inspiration from his own life experiences, utilizes these characters to portray that individuals have differences that cause them to respond differently to grief and how having to alter such things to please another can cause a rift in any relationship. Specifically, Frost portrays the unraveling of a relationship.
Now that we have a little background on the author, we can take a closer look at the actual work and its characters. The two main characters of the story a narrator and her husband, John, and the story takes place in the 19th century. Life for the two is like most other marriages in this time frame, only the narrator is not like most other wives. She has this inner desire to be free from the societal roles that confine her and to focus on her writing, while John in content with his life and thinks that his wife overreacts to everything. Traditionally, in this era, the man was responsible for taking care of the woman both financially and emotionally, while the woman was solely responsible for remaining at home. This w...
...or a relationship”. In genderlects, there is no superior or inferior method of communication, but rather, men and women just communicate differently. By understanding these differences, one can reduce the amount of misunderstandings in future conversations.