Knapp Stage Model Essay

In 1978, Mark Knapp presented a "staircase" model of relationship stages (cite). Knapp 's (1978) model is based on the basic principles Altman and Taylor (1973) set forth in their Social Penetration Theory. As with the Social Penetration Theory, Knapp 's staircase model incorporated the communication features of disclosure and depth. Relationships are seen as developing and advancing through increased disclosure with increased depth. Once one person shares information with another, the view of the other person in relation to oneself is advanced to a new level (cite). I 'm going to provide an example of Knapp 's Stage Model of Relationship Escalation and De-escalation by using the marriage between my ex-husband and me. This model explains

In some relationships people grow apart or lose interest, but in our relationship there was abuse. Not physical abuse, but a lot of emotional abuse from him. The first level of the coming apart stage is Differentiating. At this stage some people will start thinking individually rather than with the partner. Our sleeping habits were never quite the same because he would stay up all night practically come to bed when I was waking up to get ready for work. This didn 't bother me before, but all of a sudden now it did. We did not work day and night shifts. We both worked during the day and he just chose to stay up late. It would cause us to argue about it. Next is the Circumscribing stage which consist of distance and tension between the couple. Sleeping alone every night started to cause some tension. I did not really feel that we experienced distance (except the distance from the living room to the bedroom at night) because we still went everywhere together, ate dinner together, and worked on our laptops together. Maybe less conversation even though we were always together which brings us to the next step. Stagnating stage also referred to as a superficial routine. Everything continued as usual like our everyday routine, but there was no more communication or feelings. I wanted to stay a family because I felt the only person hurting was myself. I did not want to put my daughter through a divorce. Stage four of coming apart is the Avoiding stage which includes alternating fight and flight. I do not remember avoiding him because a lot of our arguments revolved around him no trusting me being alone. However, tensions grew with the emotional abuse and I realized if I keep with this relationship in the future the fighting my daughter is exposed to could be traumatizing. I filled for divorce after six years of marriage and nine years into the relationship. At this point I still loved