Johnson Monologue

Twenty-plus years of selling Johnson & Johnson

I started out as a baby-faced monster

No wonder there's diaper rash on my conscience

My teething ring was numbed by the nonsense

Gem Star razor and a dinner plate

Arm & Hammer and a Mason jar, that's my dinner date

Then crack the window in the kitchen, let it ventilate

'Cause I let it sizzle on the stove like a minute steak

Nigga, I was crack in the school zone

Two beepers on me, Starter jacket that was two-toned

Four lockers, four different bitches got their mule on

Black Ferris Bueller, cutting school with his jewels on

Couldn't do wrong with a chest full of chains and a arm full of watches

What I sell for pain in the hood, I'm a doctor

Zhivago tried to fight the urge like Ivan Drago, if he dies, he dies

Or my auntie was stealing it, hit the pipe and start feeling it

Ooh, wee, cut me some slack, weed never did that

This was different, geez, Louise, please help me relax

Quantum physics could never show you the world I was in

When I was ten, back when nine ounces had got you ten

And nine times out of ten, niggas don't pay attention

And when there's tension in the air, nines come with extensions

My daddy turned a quarter piece to a four and a half

Took a L, started selling soap fiends bubble bath

Broke his nails misusing his pinky to treat his nose

Shirt buttoned open, taco meat laying on his gold

I said, "Daddy, one day, I'mma get you right with 36 zips

1000 grams of cocaine, then your name will be rich

Now you can rock it up or sell it soft as leather interior

Drop some ice cubes in it, Deebo on perimeter"

He said, "Son, how come you think you be my connect?"

I said, "Pops, your ass is washed up, with all due respect"

He said, "Well, nigga, then show me how it all makes sense"

Go figure, motherfucker, every verse is a brick, your son dope, nigga

Now reap what you sowed, nigga (Please reap what you sowed, nigga)

I was born in '87, my grand daddy a legend

Now the same shit that y'all was smoking is my profession, let's get