Family dynamics present interesting revelations, especially regarding the relationship between parents and children. While most families undoubtedly encounter dysfunction at some point throughout life, immigrant families seemingly experience such stress continually. A handful of short stories, including “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan, “Who’s irish” by Gish Jen, and “A Thousand Years of Good Prayers” by Yiyun Li, demonstrate how strained relations erupt in immigrant families. Familial tension noticeably arises because of the immigrant parents’ inability to fully adjust to the American way of life. Further, immigrant parents adhere to strict expectations in an attempt to uphold the family’s conservative heritage. Finally, immigrant parents typically …show more content…
Although most parents and children experience turmoil stemming from simple disagreements, immigrant families face more divisive tensions due to a cultural and societal gap between generations, strict parental expectations to conform to the ideals of a distant land, and differing beliefs on child rearing. Strained relationships arise between first-generation Americans and their immigrant parents due to differing cultural and societal expectations between the respective groups. Understandably, the first-generation American children quickly grow accustomed to the demands of society in the United States because of the youthful ability to adapt. However, such demands are often at odds with that of the parents’ foreign land. Consequently, tension erupts as a result of conflicting cultural values. As illustrated in “Who’s Irish,” the daughter has assimilated to life in the United States, which includes an …show more content…
Conflict constantly occurs between the mother and daughter in “Who's Irish” surrounding the child rearing of the daughter’s daughter. When discussing her trouble-making granddaughter, the mother explains, “John and my daughter agree Sophie is a problem, but they don’t know what to do. You spank her, she’ll stop, I say another day. But they say, Oh, no. In America, parents not supposed to spank the child. [...] I don’t want you to touch Sophie, she says. No spanking, period” (Jen pg. 3). Later, the daughter insists that the mother use language as an attempt to teach the granddaughter how to behave properly instead of spanking. The mother says, “use your words, my daughter says. That’s what we tell Sophie. How about you set a good example” (Jen pg. 3-4). Thus, the different approaches in child-rearing brings stress to the relationship between first-generation American children and their immigrant
Gish Jen’s story titled Who’s Irish is a story about a chinese grandmother who was struggling to adapt to a different culture. Throughout the story, the grandmother’s perception and understanding conflicted with that of her daughter, Natalie, her son-in-law, John Shae, and, her granddaughter, Sophie. The narrator is a Chinese Grandmother who was nameless and spoke in the first person point of view. When the Grandmother first immigrated to the United States along with her daughter and her husband (who passed away,) she found success through her restaurant. She believed that her hardwork and dedication gave rise to her success in a different country. This was why the grandmother does not like her in-laws. She presumes that because they are
Immigrants come to America, the revered City upon a Hill, with wide eyes and high hopes, eager to have their every dream and wild reverie fulfilled. Rarely, if ever, is this actually the case. A select few do achieve the stereotypical ‘rags to riches’ transformation – thus perpetuating the myth. The Garcia family from Julia Alvarez’s book How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents, fall prey to this fairytale. They start off the tale well enough: the girls are treated like royalty, princesses of their Island home, but remained locked in their tower, also known as the walls of their family compound. The family is forced to flee their Dominican Republic paradise – which they affectionately refer to as simply, the Island – trading it instead for the cold, mean streets of American suburbs. After a brief acclimation period, during which the girls realize how much freedom is now available to them, they enthusiastically try to shed their Island roots and become true “American girls.” They throw themselves into the American lifestyle, but there is one slight snag in their plan: they, as a group, are unable to forget their Island heritage and upbringing, despite how hard they try to do so. The story of the Garcia girls is not a fairytale – not of the Disney variety anyway; it is the story of immigrants who do not make the miraculous transition from rags to riches, but from stifling social conventions to unabridged freedom too quickly, leaving them with nothing but confusion and unresolved questions of identity.
For immigrants, reuniting with parents who left them is a huge problem in the U.S. Children who reunite with their parents after many years have a lot of problems with the parents. The parents and children tend to argue, the children have buried anger, and both have an idealized concept of each other. According to Los Angeles’s Newcomer School, a school for newly arrived immigrants which is referenced in Enrique’s Journey, a bit more than half of want to talk to the counselor about their problems. The main problem Murillo, the school’s counselor, says is mostly family problems. Murillo says that many parent-child meetings are all very similar and identical to each other. Some of the similarities are that idealized notions of each other disappear, children felt bitter before going to the U.S., and that many children have buried rage. Mothers say that the separations between them and child was worth it because of the money earned and the advantages in America. However, many children said that they would rather have less money and food if it meant their mothers would stay with them.
Affected by my family, my background, and everything around me, I was born in a family who is the first generation to get here. My grandmother, and my parents, along with some other relatives, moved here in search of better opportunities, like those from other countries for the same idea. They started out fresh but had a hard time to get started, when I was little, I assumed it had to be somewhat easy, but for people who do not know English it is like starting from scratch, but they did well, they’ve made it.
People of Filipino decent have a rich culture that emphasizes tradition and family; as well as allows for a political and sociocultural movement for Filipino immigrants in their new countries. Theme one focuses on the concept of culture and how Filipinos present themselves as a race. Although they reside in the United States, it was rare for most informants to identify themselves as Americans. Rather, they viewed their culture as being morally correct and righteous and American culture as deviant or aberrant. Explicitly, the issue with Filipinos in terms of American culture was their concept of family and the U.S. families’ lac k thereof. They argue that in their culture family is a dominant aspect that preaches assistance and care for one another. Additionally, they disagree with the ideology that American families have in terms they raise their children. Filipinos take care of their children and continue to offer them resources and shelter regardless of their age. Conversely, they believe that American parents lack in care for their children and ultimately get the same from them in return. Filipino culture also emphasizes gender roles and restrictions, particularly female gender. Females are expected to take on the role of the
People come to the United States from all over the world with a different culture and adapted to their own perceptions of living. However, even though we live in a diverse country it is still difficult for everyone to adapt because our ways are not the same as the country of others. It is the most difficult for children to accommodate into new environments during development and as immigrant parents there isn’t much they could do either to help because they have to learn of the new ways themselves. There are some in some cases where you would rarely see a girl
Arriving to the United States of America in a plane is an exhilarating experience. On the plane, everyone suffers the same fates: whether it be turbulence, bad food, or long delays. Once arriving at Customs, the real differences pop out when the passengers are separated into two groups: U.S. Citizens and Non-Citizens. Most immigrants dream of the day when they can step into the Citizen line, hand over their American passport and hear the customs officer say, “Welcome home.” To immigrants, being American equates to success, fame, and happiness. In Amy Tan’s “Two Kinds,” it follows the story of an American girl born to a Chinese mother, and their struggles to be successful and fit in. Is that not what most people seek? The pursuit
Immigrant children often have a much different life in the new country than their parents do. Whether they were born there, or brought over at a young age (teen or younger), they have many different experiences that often lead to them having a more favorable outlook on the culture of their new home than their parents. The children have a unique advantage, for they have yet to create an identity for themselves. They do not know what they want to do with their lives yet, so they can better enjoy the culture for what it is. Like Gogol in The Namesake, they can even change their name. Like h...
In the story Jubilee by Kirstin Valdez Quade A young very bright Latin American woman, Andrea, struggles with feeling like she’s been accepted in today’s society despite all of her achievements. These feelings tend to peak and turn negative whenever she’s around the family of her father’s lifelong employer, the Lowells, and in particularly their daughter Parker. Although the Lowells, as a whole seem to love Andrea and her family, she finds that their success and good fortune directly correlates to her family’s second rate citizenship. This story reveals that obsession with being accepted as an equal can be an ever increasing stressor that can severely damage a child’s identity, social skills and ultimately lead to misplaced resentment and
John Bodnar says it well when he suggests that "the center of everyday life was to be found in the family-household. It was here that past values and present realities were reconciled, examined on an intelligible scale, evaluated and mediated." This assertion implies that the immigrant family-household is the vehicle of assimilation. I will take this assertion a step further and examine more specifically the powerful role of the patriarchal father within Anzia Yezierska's book Bread Givers and Barry Levinson's film Avalon. Yezierska's theme vividly depicts the constraint of a patriarchal world, while Levinson illustrates the process of assimilation and the immigrant, now American, family and its decline. In this paper, I will exemplify how the patriarchal father, Sam Kochinsky (Armin Mueller-Stahl) and Reb Smolinsky are the key determinant of the dynamics by which the family assimilates.
I am a second-generation American with both my paternal and maternal sides of my family originating from the Philippines but immigrating to the United States at different times. Synthesizing information from Family Life Now, by Kelly J. Welsh, this paper will attempt to describe my family of origin and analyze how it has influenced my social and moral development to this day.
Universality in parenting is arguing that even with different ethnic backgrounds and parenting styles, child development outcomes turn out to be similar. Phinney, Ong, and Madden (2000) wanted to find out if there were commonalities in developmental processes among immigrant and non-immigrant groups. They studied those groups to see if living in America caused them to change their collectivist values over to individualistic values. They observed patterns among three immigrant groups: Vietnamese, Armenian, and Mexican. They also had two non-immigrant groups, the Europeans, and the African Americans. They separated the immigrant groups into two cohorts, cohort one being U.S.-born adolescents and parents who have longer residence in the United States, and cohort two being foreign-born adolescents with parents who have not lived in the U.S. that long. Participants were given questionn...
Before I was five, I thought I was Chinese. However, I wondered why I couldn’t understand the Chinese patrons of Chinatown restaurants. Upon learning my true ethnicity, I pulled out a mammoth atlas we had under the bed. My father pointed to an “S”-shaped country bordering the ocean, below China. It was then that I learned my parents were refugees from Vietnam. “Boat people,” my mother, still struggling to grasp English back then, would hear kids whispering when she walked through the halls of her high school. Like many refugees, although my parents and their families weren’t wealthy when they came to America, they were willing to work hard, and like many Vietnamese parents, mine would tell me, “We want you to be success.”
Before I begin contrasting my home culture to the host culture at Friends of Refugees, I must explain some social norms of my culture. As I previously stated, I come from a mostly typical American family and display at least five of the norms presented in Craig Storti’s book, Figuring Foreigners Out, A Practical Guide. One norm discussed is Individualism, where identity is found in oneself (Storti, 1999). I experience individualism through the choices I am presented in daily life and through the expectations of others, particularly my family and school. For example, my parents did expect me to go to college, but they imposed little influence on the major I selected, that decision was mine alone. Apart from college, my parents, like most other
Gish Jen’s “Who’s Irish?” explores a Chinese grandmother’s thoughts and beliefs about her ethnically integrated family. The grandmother tells the story as though she is looking back on past events and thinking about how they have affected her present life. As her tale begins, she identifies her granddaughter, Sophie, as a wild three-year-old (161). Perhaps the grandmother associates with Sophie’s strong will, because she reveals her own intense nature when she says, “I am hard work my whole life, and fierce besides.” (161). Jen provides an immediate glimpse into the grandmother’s true character that remains constant. As the grandmother recounts her time living with her daughter, Natalie, while babysitting Sophie six hours every day, she gives numerous examples of her fervent beliefs about the roles that members of a family should play. Ultimately, it is the ethnic differences that occur between their generations that divide the Chinese grandmother and Natalie, even though they share the same race.