Humorous Wedding Speech

Waves of idle chatter emanated from the grand dining hall as the lords and ladies of Knavewich anxiously awaited the grand arrival of their ruler, King Abimelech. His Majesty was to be the officiator of the annual graduation banquet, a feast held in honour of the young squires who had proven themselves worthy of joining the Knavewich Coalition of Knights – the village’s elite defensive league. However, to the uneasy curiosity of the attendants, the king was mysteriously absent from his throne at the far end of the ebony table.
The chamber was decorated exquisitely for the occasion. Colourful banners, scented candles, ruby-encrusted chalices, and a silk, burgundy tablecloth were among the lavish novelties that adorned the scene. The exorbitant

It appears a filthy rat hath lost his way to the sewers and found himself amongst the gentry, of all places! Such a loathsome blemish hath no place in the Knavewich palace!

WALLIS Thee art a recreant fool, Sir Bardsley. If you’ve no business at tonight’s gathering, then I demand thee to leave at once!

BARDSLEY Not so fast, my lesser contemporary! I have come to declare my rightful belonging in the company of His Majesty. Byron Wallis, I hereby challenge thee to a lyrical clash of swords!

The verbal crossfire had invited the curious attention of the entire dining room. At that point, turning down Bardsley’s duel would have been a disastrous move for my reputation in Knavewich; hoodlums would hit, drunkards would spit, and the courts would acquit! Maintaining my composure, I readily acknowledged my opponent’s challenge.
WALLIS I refuse to cower at the jests of a bumbling clotpole. Prepare thyself for a beating!

BARDSLEY Have at thee!

The two of us positioned our instruments and prepared to square off. The energy of the room had risen considerably as the noblemen concluded their musings and gave their undivided attention to the ensuing showdown. In his characteristic self-confidence, Bardsley began the bloodletting, furiously strumming and cavorting