Growing Up With Domestic Violence

1354 Words3 Pages
bulb-icon

Recommended: Personal experience with domestic violence

My dad once told me that ‘if you ever feel the need to hit a woman, you shouldn’t be with her’. Funny that that came out of him considering he would hit my mom up until he left for the military. By that point, they had already gotten divorced. My mom and my dad were very young when they got together and very young when they divorced but they had four kids in between those seven years. I was too young to realize that my mom would hit my dad so it never got to me. The only memory I recall however is him shooting the ceiling of their bedroom out of anger. Luckily, he shot the ceiling and that’s it. Shortly there after he went into the army and learned that saying I mentioned above. I guess my dad just had a problem controlling his temper. Unfortunately, I have the same temper he does and I’m afraid of becoming what he once was.

When I was young, I would fight with my siblings, mainly my older brother. We would get into fights, real physical fights even at a young age. However, he wasn’t the only one I would fight with. I have two younger sisters each one year apart and one or two years younger than me. When I was a lot younger, I always had that short fuse my father had. Any argument I got into always ended in me hitting or hurting someone. I remember seriously hurting my sister one time to the point where I almost got kicked out of my house. That was when I was 14. I’ve learned to control my anger a lot since then and believe I have grown out of that stage but I still worry about that anger coming back. I’m in a good relationship now and I have gotten in arguments with her but I have never laid a finger on her. I think men who hit their girlfriends are lowest of the lows.

Now that I am older and more mature, more mature to know...

... middle of paper ...

...just don’t do it. You’ll be stupid to think that you’re going to get away with something like that.” Then and there, the guys were listening. Even though he was about 50+ we were still afraid because he could bench-press about 300 pounds, he was a strong guy.

We can also prevent this type of abuse by talking to our sons and brothers early. Drill into their minds that there is never a reason to lay a finger on a woman. Punch a wall, a pillow, a brick wall whatever, but NEVER for any reason touch a woman. My grandpa told me, “Don’t ever lay a finer on a girl, unless it’s in a sensual or sexual manner.” I laughed but he was serious. So we need to start when they’re young. Show them the consequences of what can and will happen if they hurt a girl. Teach these young men alternate ways to deal with issues. We should teach them to talk and be open, not angry and abusive.

Show More
Related

  • Prose And Abuse In Hillary Potter's Battle Cries

    947 Words  | 2 Pages

    Almost as if they were to be trained as an animal. Second, socioeconomic status was a key factor in abusive relationships. Lower income women are proven to be more frequently victims of domestic violence than wealthier women. Situations where the male partner is underemployed or unemployed, he’s not seeking employment, or they are residing in a poor neighborhood all can have an impact of on abusive relationships. Third, some batterers were abused themselves. Here, batterers were abused during their upbringing whether it be physical, verbal, or sexually abused. They may have also witnessed domestic violence as a part of their childhood. From here, being abusive was embedded in their mind. They were confused about a healthy relationship. Using violence as a means of power and control was the way of life. Boys who witness domestic violence are more likely to batter as an adult. Fourth, race was another factor when being abusive. Black women seem to be more disrespectful towards men and talk out of line resulting in abuse. Black women also worry about the repercussions of reporting domestic violence. A lot of abusive relationships go

    Read More

  • Leslie Marmon Silko's In The Combat Zone

    898 Words  | 2 Pages

    As for myself growing up in a family of three boys and being the middle child, my father taught me to defend myself yet I now know that I should have learned much more. When I was a toddler and even when I was in high school my father would tell me to defend myself. I wasn’t afraid of anything because I had no idea what was really going on. The only thing I was taught was to act immediately, right when someone attempted to harm me and when it came down to it, I knew my older brother Julian was there to

    Read More

  • The Effects Of Domestic Violence On Women

    785 Words  | 2 Pages

    Domestic violence can often go unnoticed, unreported and undeterred before it’s too late. Unfortunately, recent awareness efforts have gathered traction only when public outcry for high profile cases are magnified through the media. Despite this post-measured reality, a general response to domestic violence (DV) and intimate partner violence (IPV) by the majority of the public is in line with what most consider unacceptable and also with what the law considers legally wrong. Consider by many, more than just a social discrepancy, the Center of Diseases Control and Prevention currently classifies IPV and DV as a social health problem (CDC, 2014).

    Read More

  • Power, Control and the Cycle of Domestic Violence

    1958 Words  | 4 Pages

    Domestic violence has been plaguing our society for years. There are many abusive relationships, and the only question to ask is: why? The main answer is control. The controlling characteristic that males attribute to their masculinity is the cause of these abusive relationships. When males don’t have control, they feel their masculinity is threatened and they need to do something about it.

    Read More

  • Crime after Crime: A Documentary

    831 Words  | 2 Pages

    In the documentary Crime After Crime, Deborah Peagler suffered abuse from her intimate partner through her life. The abuse started in High School. When her mother introduced her to Oliver Wilson, his charming personality fooled everyone. Oliver forced her into prostitution to make money for him. When she refused, he beat her until she promised to sell herself. The beating gradationally evolved to bull whipping. In addition, all of this occurred during her junior and senior year in high school. Oliver felt it was his right to have ultimate control over Deborah, this fact is generally accepted in the society (Belknap 247). The male dominance, male authority over women is something taught to young children. It is sought to be the place of women to wait for the husband by the door when he comes home. The male masculinity fact kicked in and it drove him to force his dominance over Deborah into physical abuse. When Deborah refused to do his bidding, he felt it was necessary for him to show her who is in control by beating her. This is the message sent to young boys of past generations and a bit less for the current one through media and entertainment.

    Read More

  • Domestic Violence Essay: Fear Itself By Katie Coyle

    1063 Words  | 3 Pages

    Today, modern society faces such problem, as domestic violence, which is common issue in majority of the countries, and USA is not exception. Statically in USA one of three women will be abused throughout her life. Domestic violence is mainly related with people’s behavior and psychology. This situation influence in different ways children, families and American society in general and it can’t be ignored, but at the same time this issue is so controversial, that it’s really difficult to find the solution.

    Read More

  • Are children affected by domestic violence relationships?

    615 Words  | 2 Pages

    Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in a relationship that is used by one partner to achieve and maintain power and also to gain control over another partner. It can be emotional physical or even sexual. Domestic violence can happen anywhere and to anyone but certain factors increase the risk, these include the mother’s age, poverty, unemployment, and alcohol and drug abuse . A study done in Canada found that women who lived with heavy drinkers were five times more likely to be assaulted by their partners than those who lived with non-drinkers. “Rodgers, K. ‘Wife assault: the findings of a national survey” Children who live in a home where domestic violence takes place will face many challenges that could last through out their whole lives. Studies have shown that a third of all children who see their mothers being hurt develop emotional problems and boys who see their fathers beating their mothers are ten times more likely to be abusers in their future relationships. “Clarkprosecutor.org domestic violence in families” Children also living in these home are more likely to experience aggression and antiso...

    Read More

  • My Experience with Domestic Violence

    1037 Words  | 3 Pages

    I would shut my eyes because I knew what was coming. And before I shut my eyes, I held my breath, like a swimmer ready to dive into a deep ocean. I could never watch when his hands came toward me; I only patiently waited for the harsh sound of the strike. I would always remember his eyes right before I closed my own: pupils wide with rage, cold, and dark eyebrows clenched with hate. When it finally came, I never knew which fist hit me first, or which blow sent me to my knees because I could not bring myself to open my eyes. They were closed because I didn’t want to see what he had promised he would never do again. In the darkness of my mind, I could escape to a paradise where he would never reach me. I would find again the haven where I kept my hopes, dreams, and childhood memories. His words could not devour me there, and his violence could not poison my soul because I was in my own world, away from this reality. When it was all over, and the only thing left were bruises, tears, and bleeding flesh, I felt a relief run through my body. It was so predictable. For there was no more need to recede, only to recover. There was no more reason to be afraid; it was over. He would feel sorry for me, promise that it would never happen again, hold me, and say how much he loved me. This was the end of the pain, not the beginning, and I believed that everything would be all right.

    Read More

  • The Effect Domestic Violence Has Upon Children

    796 Words  | 2 Pages

    Children today are likely to experience or witness violence at home. Researchers are concerned about the effect domestic violence has on children, and has prompted researchers to conduct an increasing number of investigations into this issue. Social learning theory and Erikson's theory of basic trust are two tools used to predict aggressive behavior in children.

    Read More

  • The Movie Violence Interrupters

    824 Words  | 2 Pages

    Tio Hardiman, the creator of the Violence Interrupters Program, said, “You can give them a history lesson. Your daddy was violent, your granddaddy was violent, and your great granddaddy was violent. And now your brothers are messed up because you misled them” (James et al., 2012). He is describing how violence is a learned behavior from your family and close peers. Hardiman goes on to tell a little about his own family’s history with violence. When he was fourteen, a man tried to hurt him in the streets, but his stepfather killed the man right in front of him, and he recalls feelings good about it. This family taught him violence was okay through their own

    Read More

  • Domestic Violence and Abuse

    1146 Words  | 3 Pages

    Domestic abuse, also known as domestic violence, can occur between two people in an intimate relationship. The abuser is not always the man; it can also be the woman. Domestic abuse can happen between a woman and a man, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. Domestic abuse shows no preference. If one partner feels abusive, it does not matter their sexual orientation, eventually the actions they are feeling will come out towards their partner.

    Read More

  • Domestic Violence Essay with Annotated Bibliography

    1594 Words  | 4 Pages

    There are many different types of domestic violence. Physical abuse is the most obvious form, but this is not to say that outsiders always recognize it. Generally, physical violence causes bodily harm, using a variety of methods. Slapping, pushing, throwing, hitting, punching, and strangling are only a few methods. An object or weapon may or may not be used. There is not always physical evidence of physical abuse such as bruising, bleeding, scratches, bumps, etc., therefore, absence of physical marks does not necessarily mean physical abuse had not occurred. Physical abuse sometimes escalates to murder (Morris and Biehl 7, Haley 14-17).

    Read More

  • Domestic Violence and the Effect it has on Family

    1602 Words  | 4 Pages

    “Domestic violence is a violent confrontation between family or household members involving physical harm, sexual assault, or fear of physical harm” (Stewart & Croudep, 1998-2012). In most places domestic violence is looked on as one of the higher priorities when trying to stop crime. Domestic Violence cases are thought to be influenced by the use of alcohol, drugs, stress or anger but in reality, they are just learned behaviors by the batterer. These habits can be stopped as long as one seeks help (Stewart & Croudep, 1998-2012). For instance, a child is brought up in a household that is constantly involved in criminal acts. As this child grows up, the criminal lifestyle will be synonymous with his/her behavior. With that being said, it is also a given fact that if a household and its members are surrounded with violence, the relationships between one another will be strained. Eventually this will end up in a divorce or even worse, death, depending on how far the violence goes. If there is violence in a family, then the ones who are affected by it may feel like they deserve it because of what the batterer is accusing them of doing. Battering occurs among people of all races, ages, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations, and educational backgrounds (Stewart & Croudep, 1998-2012). Domestic violence can affect families in more aspects than one; the husband-wife relationship, the children, and also the financial stability.

    Read More

  • Argumentative Essay : Abusive Relationships

    1337 Words  | 3 Pages

    ...ediately. A relationship is never be easy going the entire time. Arguments do happen, but in positive and healthy relationships neither party should ever use physical force to get what they want. Healthy relationships involve mutual respect in contrast to unhealthy relationships when the abuser uses violence to solve every problem. Abusive relationships can go undetected until it is too late. There are many reasons why both men and women stay in abusive relationships. Victims stay with their abusers because they are mentally dependent, and afraid for their lives. Also, if children are involved, they don’t want them to be without a father. Furthermore, learning about the Social Learning Theory, we need to stop the violence before it becomes a pattern in the family. If this behavior continues, an on-going cycle of violence could easily carry on for generations to come.

    Read More

  • Child Sexual Abuse Essay

    1390 Words  | 3 Pages

    To understand how to prevent child sexual abuse, one must begin by understanding what child sex abuse is. When a perpetrator intentionally harms a child physically, psychologically, sexually, or by acts of neglect, this crime is known as child abuse. Child sex abuse consists of any sexual activity that includes a minor. A child cannot consent to any form of sexual activity. More importantly, when a perpetrator engages with a child this way, they are committing a crime that can have lasting effects on the victim for years. Moreover, child sexual abuse does not need to include physical contact between a perpetrator and child, some forms include but not limited to; fondling, intercourse, sex trafficking, exposing oneself to a minor, masturbation

    Read More

More about Growing Up With Domestic Violence

Open Document