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The break up and relationship communication
The break up and relationship communication
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Relationships are part of life and quite often come to an end. At some point in life, people experience heartache when they separate from their loved ones. There is a plethora of reasons as to why relationships end. Many theories have been developed to try to explain why people decide to disengage relationships and leave others hurt and dissatisfied. According to Cody (1982), “in social exchange theory, a relationship can be terminated by higher costs compared to the benefit from the relationship”. When one party feels they are investing more in a relationship for a return that does not meet their desires, ending the relationship is always an option (Cook, Cheshire, Rice, & Nakagawa, 2013). Unequal contribution in relationship is often the …show more content…
The positive tone disengagement strategy is used to massage the ego of the other party by taking all the blame for things not working in a relationship. It only works to end the relationship in a friendly manner without entirely hurting the feelings of the other (Silberschatz, 2013). One of the ways can be through the utilization of the positive tone formula which can be in the form of “I still you but.” In this case, an explanation should be offered in the case to complement the statement (Ahlberg, Nilson, & Walsh, 1967). Verbal De-Escalation. The second strategy can be through the use of the verbal de-escalation mechanism, which can only be said to be hitting the nail on the head. The individual is clear and concise with the content, without hiding any information, for example; I do not love you anymore. The problem with this style is that in many cases it can create an emotional disconnection on the person who is put under pressure in the …show more content…
Some of the reasons females gave were as follows: “it was an easy way out of the situation”, “I didn’t care about the person enough to tell them directly”, “the relationship was no longer interesting”, and “they didn’t feel they were strong enough to be honest with herself or her mate”. Men on the other hand, indirectly ended the relationship for the following reasons: “I didn’t care enough about the other person’s feelings”, “the other person was too emotionally involved and he didn’t want to hurt her
I have learned that, interpersonal relationships are difficult to maintain. I often ask myself why, relationships require so much work. Why do I, stay in a relationship where the bad outweighs the good? The social exchange perspective argues, according to Monge & Contractor, as cited by West & Turner that “People calculate the overall worth of a particular relationship by subtracting its cost from the rewards it provides.”
“what have we learned.” To prevent any kind of confusion, Waldinger divides what he has learned from this study into three lessons. He reinforces the big value of relations with some metaphors: “the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic.” He wants to convey how threatening the loneliness is. “loneliness kills.” To stop any doubt that his metaphor is exaggerated, he supports it with evidences, facts and detailed surveys: “more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely,” “The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.” These surveys and facts mainly support not only his point but also his aim beyond that talk. The power of relationships: “good relationships keep us happier and healthier.” He also illustrates the previous point by reports from the study: “Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.” Additionally, he illustrates how the relationships can keep us healthier: “High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.” Waldinger develops that the relationships do not just protect physical health, they protect brains: “the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people's memories stay sharper longer. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can't count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory
While all relationships can be difficult, romantic relationships seem to be some of the most complicated types. Sometimes two people can care for one another so much, yet they cannot seem to communicate effectively. When a lack of communication occurs between two people for a long period of time, it most likely will lead to a huge confrontation and possibly a complete dissolve of the relationship. The Break-Up is a movie that shows how important interpersonal communication is in relationships. The movie features Brooke and Gary, a couple which has been together for several years. Although they seem to be arguing about something trivial like lemons, there are much bigger issues that begin to surface. Throughout this paper I will show how
The use of your voice in verbal de-escalation includes the tone, volume, and rate of speech. All three of these things affect the message you are sending with your voice. We have all heard the saying “what you say is not as powerful as how you say it.” Having a poor tone allows the client to interpret your message in their own way. This makes our de-escalation attempt more difficult. We do not want to raise our voice above that of the escalated client. However, you do not want to speak so softly nobody can hear you either. If you are trying to talk too fast it can come across as you are nervous. When words are spoken more slowly it can be considered calming. A steady and clear voice will reduce the uneasiness of the client.
Along with these feelings of rejection, the spouse who wanted to stay married also often feels betrayed. Their partner vowed to love and honor them forever, and to stand by them in sickness and in health, and to devote their lives to them. With divorce, all of that is taken away. Those promises of love, fidelity, and companionship are broken, by the choice of the spouse pursuing the divorce. In contrast, when d...
Fairy tales tell us that once upon a time a girl met a boy; they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Reality is not that simple. Long-term relationships force couples to get to know each other, involve themselves in each others’ worlds, fight through the hard times, and eventually develop deeper connections as noted through distinctive stages of Knapp’s relationship model. Although I have dated the same person for over two years, our communication through relationship stages makes it seem as though I am now dating a different person than the one I met years ago. Following dissolution and subsequent repair, I realize the most exhilarating of roller coaster rides develop through sets of ups and downs, much like the stages on how our relationship is built.
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
To effectively communicate with our clients during de-escalation we need to uncover what they need. We already know what we need and that is cooperation from the client. In addition, we need to ask ourselves why the client is escalated today, but was not escalated yesterday. This information
Fourthly, the child abuse might result in a strain on family cohesion. Based on the circumplex model of the family system theory, family cohesion is determined by various factors such as space, time, friends, emotional bonding, decision-making, recreation and interests (Olson, 1999). The family affected by child abuse might experience a disengaged relationship. According to Olsen (1999), a disengaged relationship involves extreme lack in emotional bonding.
‘Every day we create relationships by means other than formal contracts... As individuals form relationships they necessarily bring their accumulated experiences and developed personalities with them. In ways unknown to them, what they expect from the relationship reflects the sum total of their conscious and unconscious learning to date.’ (Spindler, 1994, p328)
Loss of Attraction Off all the points mentioned above, I would personally say this is the single most important reason why most men leave relationships. It is the attraction that is the starting point of the relationship and to put it simply, it holds the retaining power in the
It takes time to make the rewards and costs equal. As well as the dedication from the people involved in the relationship at
In the last year, I have watched the fallout from a number of relationships and break-ups take over the bulletin boards. These problems have caused hurt feelings, have ended friendships, and have come to involve dozens of people (through bulletin boards, email, and other electronica) who have no personal stake in the outcome. The emotional devastation these poorly handled situations bring is totally unnecessary, and prompted the following.
...; With the use of applying this theory to an episode as a demonstration, an application, and then an explanation, it is easy to see how the Social Exchange theory is related to everyday situations. Not only can the theory be applied to amorous relationships, but to that of friendships. The utility of the theory is seen in just about every type of interaction and is key to better understanding why relationships, friendships, or any mutual interaction, for that matter, turn out being costly or rewarding.
There are numerous factors and causes that contribute to why couples break up. However, cheating, falling out of love, quarrelling, and lack of communication are the most common reasons why they tend to end their relationship. Jocelyn Soriano once opined, “We hurt so much because we have lost a part of ourselves. If we have loved much, we must have given much also, and when everything's over, we feel as though we have lost everything.”