Hey, Do You Mind if I Offer You Some Feedback? When someone asks “do you mind if I offer you some feedback?”, you immediately think that you did something terribly wrong. You don’t know whether to feel proud or to feel ashamed, or even feel like you’ve been attacked and need to defend yourself as much as possible. Difficulty with accepting criticism is nothing new; in fact, it is more common than you think. We are often criticized after completing anything from simple tasks to the most complex projects we can accomplish. Common examples of what we are criticized for are: work ethic, creative works such as music, television, articles, etc., and for any mistake, small or large, we make during our day-to-day lives. Anybody can give constructive …show more content…
Steven Stosny, author of “What’s Wrong With Criticism” for PhychologyToday.com, agrees that the two terms mean different things. According to Stosny, criticism focuses on what’s wrong, implies the worst about one’s personality, devalues and places blame (Stosny). Feedback, according to Stosny, focuses on behavior, encourages one’s potential and focuses on their future (Stosny). The largest culprit of misuse and misinterpretation of constructive criticism is found in relationships. This is where the line is often drawn between what makes “criticism” and “feedback” different, according to multiple …show more content…
Stosny states that “criticism fails because it embodies two of the things that human beings hate the most: it calls for submission, and we hate to submit and it devalues, and we hate to feel devalued” (Stosny). Furthermore, he argues that criticism is used as a form of “ego defense” when we feel devaluated by behavior or attitude as opposed to disagreeing with their behavior or attitude (Stosny). Tony Schwartz, author of the article “There’s No Such Thing as Constructive Criticism” for HarvardBusinessReview.com, says that criticism “challenges our sense of value” and “implies judgement and we all recoil feeling judged” (Schwartz). Schwartz reiterates the point that constructive criticism is a useful tool that isn’t working or doesn’t exist simply because people don’t know how to properly give or receive constructive criticism. To prove this, he lists three reasons why we assume constructive criticism doesn’t work while in reality it actually does. “The first mistake we often make is giving feedback when we are feeling that our own value is at risk. That’s a recipe for disaster, and it happens far more commonly than we think, or are aware” (Schwartz). To summarize this reason he listed, Schwartz states that when we feel like we’re being
In his article entitled “Turn Your Critical and Controlling Inner Voice into A C.A.L.M. M.O.” Gregg Henriques, Ph.D. presents a solution to internal negative feedback loops caused by one’s response to stressful or off-putting stimuli. He begins by explaining that humans have two streams of consciousness: one that reacts and one that reflects on the actions made by the former. By falling into the trap of thinking that one is not allowed to be weak or sensitive, he elaborates that many people will justify negative responses such as avoidance or repression of emotions. However, he explains that when one is critical of their own emotions and responses to given situations, they aren’t really doing themselves any favors. He introduces the acronym of C.A.L.M. M.O. instead.
Humans are imperfect. It 's crucial and enlightening to step out of ourselves once a while and look back as a third person. Solicit and appreciate honest feedback that shows us our weaknesses, so that we can work on it to be real, not perfect. However, for some of us, it 's not easy and I understand it. It 's not about how senior we are, how rich we are or even how talented we are, but it 's about how real we are to accept the fact that we are still imperfect.
I have been blessed with many leaders and pillars in my life that challenge me daily. My parents, teachers, community leaders, and even figures in my church all know they can openly challenge my ideas. I try not to take constructive criticism as a put down; but rather as a compliment.
In Feedback as a gift, Friedrich discusses his points on how feedback should be viewed. The author describes feedback as a gift and if we view it that way it would change our mindsets when receiving it. On another note the article by Stone and Heen, Difficult conversations 2.0: Thanks for the feedback, the main focus is on the benefits we receive from accepting feedback and becoming a skillful receiver. The author also discusses why we as humans reject feedback calling these reactions triggers. In Max Performance Feedback, Sadri and Seto discuss the three different types of feedback. Each articles content is crucial to one’s professional development.
Criticism isn't as bad as it always seems,mostly people think of it instantly as censure,striation,negative judgment e.t.c. In the Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan teaches many life lessons to experience with the differences between their mothers and daughters,not every fictional characters story are as compatible to most. Tan argues as each reveal secrets,trying to unravel the certitude about her life the strings become more tangled as unsecured the secrets become.
Criticism is something that we all deal with daily and many of us believe that when we give criticism we are expertly doing so but as we receive criticism we tend to believe the other person is degrading us personally. Since criticism is mainly to judge merits and faults of a person or their actions, it is natural for us to feel defensive as we act the way we do based on the knowledge we have and we feel that the criticism questions our knowledge. Many of us may see criticism as such and act defensively towards it but according to an article called Giving and Receiving Criticism the author Sue Hadfield states, “Constructive criticism, however, can be helpful and lead to better working relations.” (Hadfield, 2013) With this in mind we can process that criticism can be used to give feedback to better ones position or knowledge in that which is being criticized. But how do we give criticism while staying in the favor of the criticized and when receiving criticism how do we differentiate between constructive and destructive criticism? Continuing in the article the author presents certain...
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. Positive reinforcement is a psychological concept that is found in behavior studies. This concept is majorly reward-oriented. It involves the reward of an individual when they show a certain desired behavior or when they produce the desired results for a given task. The reward is an addition of a positive stimulus so that the desired behavior or results can be witnessed more often.
I value and appreciate critical feedback, as it helps a person grow. I often encourage this with my kids, and it should not become repetitious if the person who receives it acknowledges the fault. It should never be a bad thing, each should be a learning experience. I had to learn this quick when I first moved to Japan. As a double minority, I had to adjust to the stares and the "wonder looks." Why are people looking at me, was it because I was the only black woman on the bullet train, or something else. Because this was the first time, I had been thrush into a country whose primarily languages isn't English. I had to learn quick, and get over any adversity that I had. One time, my boss and I was traveling to Shinjuku, which is a popular
An example of a time when someone offered me constructive feedback was when I got back my first paper back for my honors English class last semester. At first I was relatively sad and shocked; I was not used to receiving comments that told me I needed to improve my grammar and clarity of ideas. However, I reviewed my professor's comments and I realized that I shouldn't be upset. These comments were not meant to tell me that I was a horrible writer or that I was bad at English; they were meant to help me improve as a writer so that I may better be able to express my ideas in the future. At the end of it, I learned that it's important to always keep open to constructive feedback, regardless of much experience or talent you have in a subject,
In this chapter, I learned new ways to give and to accept feedback. Personally, I like getting feedback. I like it because it allows me to improve on my work. For example, whenever I write essays I like to have another person look at it so they can catch any small, or even big, mistakes that I may have done. This chapter also taught me that too much negative feedback can really take a toll on a person negatively. When you give somebody too much negative feedback, that person can start to think that they’re doing everything completely wrong and can really be detrimental to their self-esteem. To give good feedback, you should give the person more positive feedback than negative. You should use constructive rather than destructive feedback. Constructive feedback is more information specific and issue specific based on observations without using judgement. Destructive feedback is full of judgement and isn’t helping the person learn. When you get the feedback, it is best to reframe it and then reconstruct it to your advantage. Getting feedback is always a good tool to get but not when it only contains
For criticism, these concerns will worsen in the future and considering the fact that the phobia of negative feedback is barely abating, the potential increase of this fear will cause the peer-review system, which lives with criticism, turn counterproductive because of this fear. The technological success of our human society will turn into entropy because of new ideas of revolutionary technology will have a higher chance to deteriorate it’s purpose . So after all of that, we must develop a solution. If you are in a fearful state of criticism, Psychology Today May 24, 2014, and Forbes Magazine June 8, 2016, suggests changing your overall image on criticism and use the new image in your mind if you are critiquing. How do you change the overall image? By understanding the benefits and balance of criticism. For example a quote from Van Morrison, a popular singer, which states "Most of the criticism I have received over the years has been very good" Another great example is LeBron James, a famous NBA player, who once said,"I like criticism. It makes you strong." Nevertheless, Nature creates the judgmental person to reveal our blind spots so we can make the necessary changes. Ultimately, we cannot solve this issue showing studies disproving the consensus. The reality is that the change starts with you. Read these tips on overcoming the fear, and soon, it will activate a chain
Irrespective of our imperfections we are unique and have our own strengths. We should appreciate all the positives and uniqueness. Give credit where it 's due. We all need help from each other. We need critics too. Let 's thank those who encourage us and also to those who disagree with us, help us find our imperfections and weaknesses. As we grow older and learn more, we don 't worry about receiving, but rather strive for giving it back. Let it be the best of our work, knowledge or even a few words of appreciation. Keep giving it and keep sharing it with others.
Feedback is a type of communication that we give or get. Sometimes, feedback is called "criticism," but this seriously limits its meaning.
...individual is critiquing society he should also coordinate his cognitive process with society. Critiquing society involves being able to criticize society enough to want social change. Examining the subjugation in a society allows for society to not reproduce itself. Traditional theory does not address its connection with society therefore does not critique society and continues a cycle of reproducing society as it is. Critique in Critical theory involves observing the disruption and conflict that causes for struggle within a society.
In this paper, I will be primarily focusing on the importance of feedback in learning. Practise is important to achieve goals but it cannot act alone, in order for a student to accomplish his/her goals he/she needs to practise; while practising it is important to receive feedback. By the end of this paper, I will try to prove why “Feedback is so important in learning”?