Overcoming a Dysfunctional Childhood
How does someone overcome the traumatic experiences they suffered with in their childhood? “Nobody had a perfect childhood, not even the kid down the street whose family seemed to have it all together. We all grew up with some sort of dysfunction, and we’re all who we are today because of it,” an excerpt from the article “The New Normal – Healing from a Dysfunctional Family.” A person’s dysfunctional childhood could sprout from neglect, abuse, loss, or psychological aspects that they have no control over but, every bad encounter can be overcome by the strongest people. “Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world,”( Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith, and Jeanne Segal). The three steps to overcome is understanding, coping, and healing (Dania Vanessa). Each of
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After understanding, and coping the problem a person can deal with their problem at hand by perhaps writing it down or writing about who hurt them, according to Melanie Tonia Evans, “this is self-recognition that will assist you in healing and reclaiming your right to perfect love, success and happiness.” A person can feel as if they were abandoned, unwanted, unloved, or forgotten. The most important thing though, is to stay positive about themselves at all costs. When a person loves themselves and is happy with their life it can make everything much easier and healing can begin. “Once you have validated and learned what you can from the experience, you can let it go and move forward. This won’t happen all at once. Those imprints are still there, and they need to be replaced with healthy, positive ones,” (Dania Vanessa.) The dysfunctional experiences that a person has from their childhood can pose as a learning experience that shaped someone into who they are now, from the hardships they
Lemoncelli, John, and Robert S. Shaw. Healing from Childhood Abuse: Understanding the Effects, Taking Control to Recover. ABC-CLIO,
In Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life, Annette Lareau discussed the extensive amount of research she conducted employing observational and interview techniques. She collected data on the middle class, working class, and poor families. She was trying to understand the impact of a child’s early parental guidance on the child’s life. She was able to conduct this research with 12 families, all of whom had fourth graders. She gathered enough information to conclude the major differences in the parenting styles of each type of family, which was directly correlated to socioeconomic status. Annette Lareau opens her book with two chapters to give the reader an idea on what the examples she gives will detail.
It is important to appreciate that these issues are very complex, and to be familiar with how abuse and neglect can affect various aspects of a person's life. Child abuse does not affect every person the same. The extremity of the abuse and different situations determine the effect. Some people could live on to become great people and do great things. They don’t look at the abuse as something negative but rather as something that made them strong and made them believe that they were better and could do better than the situation that they were in. Dealing with abuse after it is over is the toughest thing to handle, most people that could afford therapy go to it, but since most people can‘t afford it they try to deal with it the best they can. Although in most cases the child is removed from the home that the abuse is happening in, sometimes child abuse can slip by unnoticed and that can have severe consequences on the child as well as others.
In the book, Outgrowing the Pain: A Book For and About Adults Abused as Children, Dr. Eliana Gil discusses the causes and effects of traumatic experiences adults abused as children have undergone during their childhood. Throughout the book, Dr. Gil introduces various types of abuse within the family such as emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Furthermore, Dr. Gil explains how to guide these once mistreated adults to understand and cope with each situation.
Childhood Trauma is defined as “The experience of an event by a child that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects.” (The National Institute of Mental Health). Childhood trauma is an epidemic that seems to be running its way throughout the world. Childhood trauma is a worldwide problem that can affect anyone and everyone. People tend to just try and help the problems that occur due to the childhood trauma, but not the problem itself. Many of these issues will also follow the child into their adult years and will cause negative effects. This paper will discuss the negative outcomes for a child who suffers from childhood trauma, and the negative outcomes that can follow them into adulthood.
Despite the idea of humans functioning on a dysfunctional system, there may still be some objections arguing for the goodness of these factors or how we are looking at the problem from an incorrect lens. One such a response could be that the mind and dysfunctional system are two separate things, and rather than this situation being purely mental processes, it could be a physical response. By thinking of the mind as a racecar driver and the system as a racecar with a blown-out tire it can be shown that humans are still perfectly functional, but the problem exists in the vehicle. While the driver may desire to steer the car in one direction, that broken wheel causes the car to go into a different direction. Therefore, the whole situation can
As a child I suffered an event that framed my life, a catastrophe that would change my life at least temporarily. This catastrophe changed things all around me, things in my family changed and things at home changed ever since that day. I remember we were all exited, we were going on a family vacation to different regions of Colombia.
I was born to a teenage mother where physical abuse between my mother and father had been present. Though my mother had been caring and loving towards me, eventually my father had become absent because he desired to be with a family he created during my parent’s marriage. By the time I was five-years-old he had become completely absent from my life. Due to the witnessing of the abuse my father had done to my mother, I had become a child who could not count on others being kind or caring in my life which caused me to become weary of others around me. I had projected my insecurities on other people especially when my mother had started to date other men as I was afraid of any man my mother started dating, I mistrusted men, and pushed people away because I was afraid they would leave me.
There are several domains that must be considered when treating a survivor of child abuse: the need for safety and trust, sense of belonging, protection from perceived or actual threats, facing the defendant in court, prevention of revictimization, and empowerment (Sawyer & Judd, 2012). Davis, 2005, states that “children terrorized through sexual abuse, neglect, physical abuse, or wartime atrocities may suffer from lasting wounds, nightmares, depression, and troubled adolescence involving substance abuse, binge eating, or aggression.” Victims of child abuse need to regain their sense of control over their lives. Experiencing healthy relationships, being nurtured by adults and helping them to learn resilience are all interventions that have been well-documented (Sawyer & Judd, 2...
I believe that counseling and positive individuals help individuals who have suffered trauma because it robs us of our happiness, peace and understanding. Some individuals may react negatively and resort to usage of drugs, isolation and even death when they do not have assistance or family. Furthermore, it allows you to understand and have compassion for people who may be facing the same challenges and or situation. In summation, Man’s Search for Meaning has taught me that you should not let your past hurt, overwhelm you and dictate your life (Frankl,
Since the beginning of time, fathers have had a profound effect on their child’s development. Over the years, the norm for traditional family dynamics of having a father figure in the household has changed drastically, and so did the roles of the parents. It is not as common as it used to be to have a father or father figure in the home. In this day and age, women are more likely to raise children on their own and gain independence without the male assistance due to various reasons. The most significant learning experience and development of a person’s life takes place in their earlier years when they were children. There are many advantages when there is a mother and father combined in a
The psychosocial crisis of toddlerhood is Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt. Children within the age group of 2 to 4 years old are developing their independence through the exploration of language, play, communication, and functional skills. Each of these tasks fosters independence and autonomy, but they also come with frustration for a child, especially at the beginning stages. Teaching children self-control and anger management will greater assist them to achieve goals in their current stage and then later in life they will develop into strong decision makers. A child may express anger when not being able to communicate their desires or become upset when socially engaging with another child who will not share a toy.
Child neglect is the most common form of maltreatment towards children, which may lead to various short- and long-term physical, psychological and social consequences. It is known to coincide with other forms of abuse and difficulties. Infants and toddlers are often the main victims of neglect.
Trauma relates to a type of damage to the mind that comes from a severely distressing event. A traumatic event relates to an experience or repeating events that overwhelmingly precipitated in weeks, months, or decades as one tries to cope with the current situations that can cause negative consequences. People’s general reaction to these events includes intense fear, helplessness or horror. When children experience trauma, they show disorganized or agitative behavior. In addition, the trigger of traumas includes some of the following, harassment, embarrassment, abandonment, abusive relationships, rejection, co-dependence, and many others. Long-term exposure to these events, homelessness, and mild abuse general psychological
Child abuse is a very serious problem that continues to happen all over the world. The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act, defines child abuse as a failure to act as a parent or caregiver which results in physical/emotional harm, sexual abuse, and in some cases death. There are many different types of child abuse such as emotional, physical, neglect, and sexual. With each type of abuse there are warning signs you can spot before it is too late. When a child is abused there is a huge possibility that it can cause them to have many long term effects.