DXM vs. a religion we call the media: the day the world shat its pants

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DAY ONE

“I don’t know. I drink half-a-bottle of cough syrup and I end up with this ingenious poem. Go figure”

“Well I suppose I’ll give it a try.”

DAY TWO

“Dude, look at this painting I did because of the cough syrup.”

“See dude, I told you. It makes you smarter.”

“Totally.”

Then they tell two friends
And they tell two friends
And they tell two friends
And so on
And so on

GENERATIONS LATER

Soon word gets around to big names
Big names tell the right people
The right people turn DXM into a pill designed,
Not to prevent coughs,
But to,
As it says on the box it comes in,
Make you smarter.

DXM becomes mainstream
A household substance approved by the FDA
Everybody does it
Everybody likes it
Everybody wants it
Except for those metalling kids who hate everything that is mainstream.

MORE GENERATIONS PASS

Those metalling kids grow up
Get hair cuts
Get jobs
Get married
And have metalling kids of their own
Their own metalling kids grow up and have more metalling kids

Out of all the metalling kids populated in this world, one of them catches a break and becomes a big rock star
He’s looked up to
Idolized and praised
By millions of metalling kids who hate mainstream
JUST LIKE HIM

So he’s up there. His name is thrown all over the media. His name is big.
His name means something.
It means
“I HATE MAINSTREAM” and “I'M A METALLING KID, JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU”

“I'M YOUNG”
“I'M CUTE”
And “I'M REBELLIOUS”
And now that all of you look up to me I can’t let you down

I gotta find something I can attack
And I gotta rock
And I gotta roll
And I gotta rock and roll hard

So I ask myself “ what am I gonna attack?”
And I answer myself “I'm gonna attack mainstream.”
And I ask myself again “ what am I gonna attack that is mainstream?”
And again, I answer myself by saying“ the mainstream I am going to attack is a little old miracle substance forever known as DXM”

So our little metalling rock star goes into hiding for a while trying to find all the dirt he can about DXM: the drug that makes you smarter. Days pass
Weeks pass
Months pass
And all the while
All the fans
All over the world
Are splitting up into two categories
The Appalled and The Obsessed
The Appalled say
He’s gone, and he’s never commin back, EVER
It’s time to move on.

And The Obsessed say
Just you wait. He’s commin back and is gonna be better then ever
And I'm gonna be waitin
Right here.

And believe it or not, a whole year passes.

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