As stated by Grellier & Goerke (2014), analytical essays explore all perspectives of a topic; whether it be positive/negative or possibilities/difficulties. Also, an argument is generally not required as comparing and contrasting points is the main focus of the essay. Obesity (Student n.d.) will be analysed and critiqued based on conventions of good academic writing.
Several major questions can be considered when evaluating an essay. For example, does the essay identify a question worth addressing? Being an analytical essay, Grellier & Goerke (2014) suggest that no argument is given and therefore the topic is required to be discussed neutrally. The title ‘Obesity’ provides no detailed information regarding what is going to be discussed. In
…show more content…
Griellier & Goerke (2014) suggest that the introduction includes an overview of topic, relevant background information and the stating of main points. In Obesity (Student n.d.), many topics are introduced, such as obesity as a problem, how it has been positively promoted and the influences of social, cultural and economic factors; however all are not explored fully. Student should follow Grellier & Goerke’s (2014) techniques for writing an introduction in order to address this …show more content…
Student uses slang terms, such as ‘for starters’ (Line 13) and ‘kids’ (Line 83), which according to Brizee & Driscoll (2012), decreases the academic level of the essay. Other weaknesses throughout the essay include abbreviations of terms (e.g. ‘ads’ for advertisements), no elaboration of acronyms (e.g. ‘SES’ meaning socioeconomic status), poor word choice, spelling errors and lack of flow due to grammatical errors. Also, Student introduces previous research in bullet-point form. As an analytical essay is usually written formally it is recommended by the University of New England (n.d.) that bullet points are avoided. Obesity (Student n.d.) could be improved by fixing these weaknesses in the form of proof reading and spell check, as well as expanding on acronyms and using complete words instead of
Brody, Jane E. “Attacking the Obesity Epidemic by First Figuring Out Its Cause.” New York Times. 12 September 2011. Print.
“Unteaching the Five Paragraph Essay” by Marie Foley demonstrates how a five paragraph essay formula disturbs the thought process of the students and limits what they can write. A five paragraph essay is an introduction with the main idea, with three supporting topics showing the relationship to the main idea, and a conclusion summarizing the entire essay. Foley argues that this formula forces students to fill in the blank and meet a certain a word limit. She noted that this formula was intended for teachers in the education system to teach an overcrowded class how to write. While it is beneficial for the first-time students learning how to write. In the long run, this standard destroys any free style writing, new connections between a topic,
“Fat Acceptance” reached the reader successfully, with a modern debate on a common issue in society. During the essay, Giessler begins to push a much deeper meaning in “Fat Acceptance”, much of which going unnoticed. Looking over the article multiple times allowed me to notice the flawed one sided arguments. It is noticeable the author failed to supply
Obesity and opposition are the two main issues of this film. The issue of obesity, treated lightly in the beginning of the film and then severely by the end, reflects society’s approach to weight loss. To ...
he evaluation of the overall rhetorical effectiveness for intended audience was a failure starting with the ethos of having no much credibility for the author, pathos, no real connection to emotion to aid the doctor, and not being able to see the real problem, and with the lack of logos to explain how to be able to obtain aid and help the student improve. As a result, in the editorial the authors had no success in persuading all the audience. For that reason, college students should be able to see the correct way to write their essay and the effective method for them to pass class with excellent essays.
This essay will be explaining the definition of sociology, the sociological factors of obesity using Symbolic Interactionism Theory and the Functionalism Theory and a description of the medical condition obesity and how it may affect individuals suffering from it.
In order to take a sociological viewpoint into account when one examines obesity, first it is important to understand how obesity is recognized in current society. According to today’s news articles and magazines and advertisements and other mass media about health and healthy life, one can easily realize that a great number of people have an eagerness to be healthy. Also, one can assume through these mass media about health that everyone wants to be attractive, and they are even prone to transform their own behaviors to gain attractiveness. This is because most people live a life where social interaction is frequently required and must engage themselves into social interaction every day of their life. Therefore, based on these ideas and proofs throughout this mass media, obesity is regarded as one of the characteristics that is disgraceful and undesirable in society.
Haygood, Wil. "Kentucky Town of Manchester Illustrates National Obesity Crisis." "They Say/I Say": The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing: With Readings. By Gerald Graff, Cathy Birkenstein, and Russel K. Durst. Vol. 2e. New York: W.W. Norton &, 2012. 406-15. Print.
...that the manatory classes will have a lifelong impact in a college student’s life is implied. The essay focuses on the main topic with an attempt at a progression of ideas. The paper flows from introduction to focusing on weight, health, nutrition, flexibility, and overall strength of the body with a fourth paragraph that veered off topic as it focused on being a wedding planner and not the topic of the essay. There is structure in each paragraph as it attempts to focus on a one word idea. As a whole, the paper is relatively ineffectual and lacked comprehension. It was also very hard to understand on the first reading which compounded the overall effect. Some of the reasons the essay is hard to understand, include: improper sentence structure, muddled ideas, misused words, grammatical errors, incomplete sentences, missing words, and an overall lack of focus.
Is obesity about poverty and cheap food? Or lack of moral fibre? I will be elaborating an essay on the points written by Zoe Williams (2011) balanced arguments, on whether there is a link between obesity, poverty and or lack of inner strength. I will be presenting for and against arguments relating the issue.
...ournal articles support the thesis that Obesity is more than an individual’s problems and it affects more than their personal surroundings. It however affects nations economically, began the phenomena of “Globesity” and has been influenced by the body conscious era of time in which we live in. These are ties which we have woven
Society should consider the physical and emotional problems of obesity in our nation. “Obesity is defined as an excess proportion of total body fat (Mayo Clinic).” American society has become increasingly obese, “characterized by environments that promote increased food intake, unhealthy foods, and physical inactivity (cdcinfo@cdc.gov).” Our nation increasingly has become consumers of a fast food diet. It is so simple to just pick up food on the go and not deal with the hassle of cooking and cleaning up afterwards. What are nation needs to acknowledge is the health risks they will obtain if they do not acquire a healthy life style.
Obesity is a serious condition that has generated a discussion on whether or not to be classified as a disease. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), obesity is the body mass index (BMI) of 30 or higher, which is calculated based on the person’s height and weight. For years, our society has been facing the obesity challenge, which can be extremely costly once it leads to several diseases. Thus, because of the constant increase of percentage of people with obesity, the American Medical Association (AMA) proposed in June 18, 2013 to classify obesity as a disease. Their argument was that obesity increases the risks of countless health conditions such as type 2 diabetes, coronary heart disease, stroke, hypertension etc. Moreover, it increases morbidity and mortality. By considering obesity as a disease, their aim was to maximize researches and funding, which will focus on obesity from different medical and health approach levels. Their idea of classifying obesity as a disease was in accordance with the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute’s declaration of 1995. The institute declared, “ Obesity is a complex multifactorial chronic disease developing from multiple interactive influences of numerous factors.” In 2012, the CDC data showed 34.9% of adults obese and 17% of obese children. These numbers are very alarming especially since the struggle to deter certain factors contributing into this condition is still a challenge. Among the struggles, there are the people’s rights versus health regulations to keep them as healthy as possible like the former mayor Bloomberg regulation on soft drinks size cut. During CNN’s show GPS of Sunday 2, 2014, the host Zacharia...
Obesity and overweight have became a global problem in the last decade, according to the World Health Organization back in 2005 approximately 1.6 billion adults over the of age 15 were overweight, at least 400 million adults were obese and at least 20 million children under the age of 5 years were overweight. Experts believe if the current trends continue by 2015 approximately 2.3 billion adults will be overweight and more than 700 million will be obese. The scale of the obesity problem has a number of serious consequences for individuals and government health systems. Obesity is a concern because of its implications for the health of an individual as it increases the risk of many diseases and health conditions. Being obese means having so much body fat that your health is in danger. However, being fat is simply not an opinion. Having too much body fat can lead to many diseases. Obesity and overweight have become a global problem in the last decade.
Obesity occurs in all countries and it is one of the gravest problems in modern society. Obesity problems have become one matter of concern for individuals all around the world. What is more is that Obesity rates continue to rise all around the world. One of the chief causes is unhealthy diets. Obesity is also due to lack of exercise and lack of education and awareness. Therefore obesity has various effects including the risk of suffering from a range of health conditions, increased expenditure on health care and lack of self-esteem.