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Personal reflections on attachment theory
Theories of grief
Personal reflections on attachment theory
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Bowlby and his attachment theory has four stages in bereavement which are: Shock Yearning and protest Despair Recovery Shock is where a child reacts to the bereavement and loss of a love one especially a parent. When a child is in shock they tend to be more emotional and in younger children they don’t understand as much as older children do. Shock is an emotional stage to go through. I have seen this in my previous setting where the child has changed where her behaviour has changed from the day before she was very happy then the next day she was very sad and upset. Yearning and protest is where a child protests and is the next stage after shock. The child is beginning to protest about anything as the child is still emotional about the loss …show more content…
Her theory is based on bereavement and loss. She made a theory based on supporting people who have gone through a bereavement by counselling. Her five stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This theory can be used to observe other factors which can traumatise or upset a person such as losing a job, gaining an injury or relationship-break up. These factors are far less extreme than losing a loved one. The five stages of grief is also known as the ‘grief cycle’. The five stages of grief is a model of the grief stages. The first stage denial is where a child refuses to accept the facts, reality and information, relating to the current scenario. The second stage anger is the second stage of the five stages and is where the child can be angry with themselves and/or others, especially those who are close to them. The next stage is bargaining which means that the child bargains with whatever god or person they believe in. Depression is the next stage after bargaining which is the stage in which is preparing the child for the aftermath. The last stage acceptance is where there is emotional detachment. A dying person can go through this stage before the people who are left behind. The people who are left behind must pass through the five stages through their own way of dealing with grief.
Grief is a various response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone that has died. People have a bond or affection formed over time making it hard to lose someone. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss-born psychiatrist, presented a theory of the five stages of grief that is recognized by society. In the book, Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie by Jordan Sonnenblick, the main character Steven Alper lives a normal life. He plays drums and hates his little brother, Jeffrey. Steven is constantly being annoyed by him which, bugs Steven. When Jeffrey is diagnosed with Leukemia, Steven’s life is flipped right upside down. He is hit hard with the five stages of grief. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Throughout the story, Sonnenblick explains the five stages of grief very well with Steven Alper.
In 1969 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist, published the Pioneering book On Death and Dying. The work acquainted the world with the grieving process, called the five stages of grief. Kübler-Ross gathered her research from studying individuals with terminal cancer (Johnson, 2007). The first stage of the grieving process is denial. In this stage the person refuses to believe that their loved one is deceased, a common thought during this period is, “This can’t be happening to me” (Johnson, 2007).The second stage of the grieving process is anger. In this level the person becomes frustrated with their circumstances, a customary complaint is “Why is this happening to me?” (Johnson, 2007). The third stage of the grieving process is bargaining. At this point the individual hopes that they can prevent their grief, this typically involves bartering with a higher power, and an ordinary observance during this time is “I will do anything to have them back” (Johnson, 2007). The fourth and most identifiable stage of grief is depression. This phase is habitually the lengthiest as...
Individually, everyone has their own methods of dealing with situations and emotions regardless of any positive or negative connotation affixed to them. One prime example of this comes with grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying” suggests that there are five stages of mourning and grief that are universal and, at one point or another, experienced by people from all walks of life. These stages, in no particular order, are as follows: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. Each individual person works through these stages in different orders for varying levels of time and intensity, but most if not all are necessary to “move on.” In order for positive change to occur following a loss, one must come to terms with not only the event but also themselves.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross developed a theory based on what she perceived to be the stages of acceptance of death. Her theory has been taken further by psychologists and therapists to explain the stages of grief in general. Kubler-Ross identified five stages: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, as happening in that order. In William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Hamlet exhibits all five stages of grief, we can assume in relation to the recent death of his father, but not necessarily in this order, and in fact the five seem to overlap in many parts of the play.
The Death of Ivan Illych brings an excellent in-depth description of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s 5 cycles of grief theory. In the book, it shows how Ivan Illych goes through these cycles in their own individual way. The cycles that Kubler-Ross uses in her theory are: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. To get a better understanding of these cycles, this paper will describe each cycle and provide quotations that will help develop an idea of how someone going through these cycles may react.
John Bowlby’s attachment theory established that an infant’s earliest relationship with their primary caregiver or mother shaped their later development and characterized their human life, “from the cradle to the grave” (Bowlby, 1979, p. 129). The attachment style that an infant develops with their parent later reflects on their self-esteem, well-being and the romantic relationships that they form. Bowlby’s attachment theory had extensive research done by Mary Ainsworth, who studied the mother-infant interactions specifically regarding the theme of an infant’s exploration of their surrounding and the separation from their mother in an experiment called the strange situation. Ainsworth defined the four attachment styles: secure, insecure/resistant, insecure/avoidant and disorganized/disoriented, later leading to research studies done to observe this behavior and how it affects a child in their adolescence and adulthood.
...pport that they require. These events force us to encounter a leap of maturity, in order for us to finally realize our mothers’ need for love. By experiencing these crises, we can see our parents not as helpful objects, but rather as human beings like ourselves.
Overcoming the grief that is felt after losing a loved one is a physically and mentally agonizing task. According to Dr. Christina Hibbert, a clinical psychologist who graduated from the California School of Professional Psychology, three main stages of grief include anger, depression and acceptance. Each one of these emotions can be seen in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet and The Descendants (2011, Payne) as the artists explore the effects of grief and the different emotional responses that one can have due to the loss of a loved one. Additionally, in Ismail Kadare’s Broken April, the Berisha family feels the sufferance that is associated with unexpected death, as well as the various temperamental reactions that one will have after losing a loved one. Each of these works of art represent a powerful example of the stages that one will go through after feeling the intense sorrow that is connected with death, as well as the unavoidable effects of grief.
At a stage like this, and feeling this way can be dangerous for a young child’s development. For example, On the ABC show called “The Family”, young Adam was kidnapped during his mother’s rally to promote becoming the mayor. In this situation, his kidnapping affected the whole family in traumatic ways. It effected Adam tremendously because he was only 8-years-old during the kidnapping. Adam would hope that his family would find him. But, as time went on he realized he would never be found (“Sweet Jane” The Family, ABC, Television). Adam was never found because he got sick and passed while he was being held captive. There was another child with him, named Ben, which was also being held captive. Ben was finally able to escape from his captor. When a child loses hope, as Adam did, they never develop a healthy level of hopeful thinking (Wilner, 2011). Another example of a child feeling helpless after a traumatic event is myself. After my aunt passed away, I felt like there was no one to explain or help me with the pain I had and saw (Julien, 2016). My mother, sister, and I would always go to my aunt’s house, in Miami, for the summer. My mother, sister, and I always had a fantastic time with her. Then when I found out she passed, I could not help but to think what her children were going through. When your own mother dies, and you are at a young
The stages of death are known to be a process of mourning that is experienced by individuals from all phases of life. This mourning ensues from an individual’s own death or the death of a loved one. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross dedicated much of her career to studying this dying process and in turn created the five stages of death. The five stages are; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages may not occur in sequence and sometimes may intersect with one another (Axelrod, 2006). The reality of death many times causes a feeling of denial; this is known as the first stage. In this stage, people have many emotions and have a tendency to hide from reality. This reaction is momentary, but should not be rushed. The patient or loved one needs time to adjust to the awaiting death. This adjustment helps bring them through to the next stage; anger. Anger is a common feeling and many times routes from a feeling of not being ready. This emotion may be directed toward God, strangers, friends, family or even healthcare professionals (Purcell, 2006). In some cases, it can be targeted...
Everyone has or will experience a loss of a loved one sometime in their lives. It is all a part of the cycle of life and death. The ways each person copes with this loss may differ, but according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s novel On Death and Dying, a person experiences several stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. There is no set time for a person to go through each stage because everyone experiences and copes with grief differently. However, everyone goes through the same general feelings of grief and loss. There are also sections in Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” that connect to the process of grieving: “On Pain,” “On Joy and Sorrow,” and “On Talking.” Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” reflects on Kübler-Ross’s model of the different stages of grief and loss.
Bowlby’s attachment theory has greatly influenced practice. His theory of attachment explains the importance of having a figure that the child shares a strong bond with. Having an attachment can significantly support a child’s development as Barbara Woods suggests that “his theory of attachment proposed that attachment is innate in both infants and mothers, and that the formation of this attachment is crucial for the infants development” Wood, B (2001, p.53). Bowlby believed that forming an attachment will help a child develop in all areas e.g. emotionally, physical and mentally. However if they did not form an attachment in the sensitive period, the child may have issues or problems in their cognitive, emotional and social development. “Attachment is as essential for the child’s psychological well-being as food is for physical health claimed Bowlby” Wood, B (2001, p.54). Bowlby claimed in this statement that attachment is a necessary thing which a child needs in order to develop healthily.
Just as children’s reactions are each different, so are their coping strategies. Children can cope through tears or tantrums or by retreating from unpleasant situations.
(Berger 2014 p 279). Early on the first emotions a child will feel is contentment and distress, from those children will continue to grow in their emotions as they also grow into their mind and body. (Berger 2014 p 182) Early on emotions are very delegate, if not regulated they can become out of control result in a number of disorders. (Berger 2014 p279) Two reactions can stem from improper regulation of emotions are externalizing and internalizing problems (Berger 2014 p279) Both these problems deal with children being unable to have reason and process their emotions properly. However as they grow older and gain more reason they grow out of these two disorders and begin to act more emotionally appropriate. (Berger 2014 p279) While adults are able to control their emotions in social situation, children from ages 2-6 are unable to have such control; their emotions and social behaviors are still being developed. Expectedly children will often act emotionally incorrect in society, for instance when a child doesn’t get there way they will often throw a temper tantrum. However if an adult is put in the same situation and not given what they wanted, they will act according with reason and the proper emotions instead of acting out. In light of the three scenarios given, the children were clearly not in control of their emotions, it is seen in the outcomes of each
Whenever we were kids, we didn’t quite understand situations as well as we would now as adults. No matter how many questions we asked at that young age, we were still left puzzled. That’s how I felt as a child whenever one of the most tragic moments in my life occurred. I was too young to see how severe the situation was at the time, but now, after growing up, I can understand the misery and depression my family felt.