Book Review Of John Gray's 'Chivalry Lost In Translation'

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Recommended: Chapter 3 communication skills

Chivalry Lost in Translation Imagine one day sharing an intimate dinner with an attractive man when the check arrives and suddenly there is an awkward moment, do you go for it? Will he? Or are we going dutch (splitting the check)? In today’s world, men and women struggle with a basic skill: communication, which makes dating and being on the same page impossible. John Gray explains “Women mistakenly expect men to react and behave the way women do, while men continue to misunderstand what women really need” in his book Why Mars & Venus Collide (3). Lack, break down or misunderstanding of communication can make or break any relationship. Let us take a deeper look at this in the dating world. Are men and women from different planets? Do they …show more content…

Allowing men and women to snap an already strained communication setting, where now men and women can feel that it is not important to understand the other gender or how they think, but expect the opposite sex to understand them. A planetary divide seems to be a good explanation as to why men do not openly express their emotions and why they have the same feelings and insecurities yet can conceal them better. Women seeming to be more romantic can be summed up by the romance novel’s idea of the dreamy knight in shining armor every little girl is told will one day sweep her off her feet. Even John Gray believes that is the main reason for gender differences he …show more content…

How are men to react? When a woman is so independent that she is offended by a man opening the door for her or paying for dinner, men are left wondering what role they play. With women waiting until after higher education for marriage and babies, and thinking more like a man about sex, gender roles are confused. In Leslie Mann’s article “Women Say ‘I Do’ to Education, then Marriage”, she says, “you no longer need marriage for sex or to have kids” (616). Then what is dating’s end game, if not to get married? This also changes the rules if the end game is to just have fun; how are you to navigate and know who is out for fun and whose end game is marriage? As a recently single woman joining the dating world, that is old fashioned and also educated but wants marriage as the end game, dating can be daunting. There are too many men that do not have an end game desire, are players (men who bounce from girl to girl and usually only want sex), do not know how to treat a woman properly and plain do not waste time with the formality of small talk. In this world of lies, best foot forward, and mask juggling (being in all your roles and finding balance in your hats), the communication dancing can be so tiring swimming the rocky seas of knowing who to believe, waste time on and learn the steps for, that all you want is a safe harbor. Why Mars & Venus Collide

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