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Anger management easy
Anger management easy
Need for the study of anger management
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Anger and EI
Can you be considered “Emotionally Intelligent” and still get angry? I had to consider that possibility following a conversation with a really dear friend yesterday. Up to that point my knee-jerk answer would have been “No.”
Now, I am not so sure about that. In fact, I think you can be emotionally intelligent and still get angry. Consider for a few moments the nature of “anger.”
Anger is a truly powerful emotion. It can be used either in productive ways or it can be used counter-productive ways. It is sort of like electricity. It can light, heat, or cool our homes. It can also electrocute you. In and of itself it is neither positive nor negative. It just is.
Here are few more things to consider about anger:
Anger is a powerful
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Anger sends signals to all parts of our body to help us fight or flee. Anger energizes us to prepare us for action. Many years ago we were threatened by wild animals who wanted to eat us or an environment that was harsh or inhospitable. Now we more often feel threatened by other human beings, either psychologically or physically.
If indeed we are somewhat “energized” by anger, we would do well to ask ourselves the following question: How can I put this energy to the most productive use? As with the use of other forms of energy such as electricity or oil, we might want to use it efficiently, wisely, and not wastefully.
What is the Emotional Intelligence angle here?
The EI angle is to recognize that anger is actually a secondary or a response emotion. The primary emotion is what we feel immediately before we feel angry. We always feel something else first before we get angry. We just need to learn to recognize
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Those emotions included a sense of less, and to some degree, feeling disrespected and devalued as a business partner. This analysis clearly demonstrates that anger is the secondary emotion. And, truth be known, his anger was justified given the facts that were available at the time.
Having said all of that, the emotionally intelligent individual is able to probe their psyche and identify the events and the emotions that have triggered the anger. They then go on to address those events and primary emotions rather than the anger that is the natural response.
In conclusion, here are some questions to consider before responding in anger:
What am I afraid of?
What feelings came just before the anger?
What other feelings am I feeling?
What or who is trying to control me?
What or who am I trying to control?
What you can I control?
What is beyond my control?
I hope this helps you in your pursuit of higher levels of emotional intelligence. We are here and available to help you if you are looking for resources or coaching in the area of Emotional
The ability to express and control our own emotions is vital for our survival in society and the work place but so is our ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. Salovey and Mayer proposed a model that identified four different factors of emotional intelligence (Cherry, 2015).
Everyday humans have different situations they go through. Our actions, or solutions to the situations determines on our thought process and even our feelings. For example, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and are just not having a good day. You are walking down the sidewalk on a very scolding day and you are hot and very irritable. you are holding an open lid ice water cup, and someone bumps into you and spills it on you. Your immediate emotion following that will most likely be anger, frustration, maybe even sadness. But what if you were having a good day earlier that day, and the same thing happens. You would not be as angry because your emotions built up throughout the day have not been as negative. That is an example of emotional intelligence.
Anger is a common negative sneaky emotion that catches most of people off guard even if they try to hide it. Anger may be a good thing as it gives one a way to express his bad mood or negative feelings. It can also help one to find solutions to problems. (Web)
If anger were a disease, there would be an epidemic in this country. Road Rage, spousal and child abuse, and a lack of civility are just a few examples. Emotionally mature people know how to control their thoughts and behaviors how to resolve conflict. Conflict is an inevitable art of school and work, but it can be resolved in a positive way.
According to Seneca, anger is a bad thing that can destroy the universe, and he argued that one had to be reasonable and get rid of anger in order to achieve a state of mind not subject to emotions (Kim 2). To Rene Descartes anger is the most dangerous emotion, and it is more violent than other emotions(55).
and pleasure, the body changes into a relaxed state. When an individual is angry different
Whether that be because a coworker has been a complete crap to you all day, or your kid didn’t listen to you and ended up getting hurt for the thousandth time in a row, to getting ultimately stressed and frustrated because your teachers didn’t enter in grades and denies any proof of that occurring, we’ve all been there. When I’ve seen others get angry, they become confrontational or even start yelling, some people that I know of even throw things either at the people that they are angry at, or at other areas, such as walls. There are four different types of angry people: the avoiders, who avoid the situation completely and ignore their anger, bottling it up; the destroyers, who throw things out of anger in order to relieve it; the screamers, who scream, yell or even just become straightforward and rude either towards the person that they are angry towards; the avengers, who come up with plans to get back at the person who angered them, though most times those people don’t actually go through with their villainy plots. The ‘trigger’s, or the things that set people off to become angry, vary from person to person. In my experience, most triggers come from when someone does something that truly peeves them, which could be anything from loud noises to the mood that the other person has towards
Emotional Intelligence, also known as ‘EI’, is defined as the ability to recognize, authoritize and evaluate emotions. The ability to control and express our own emotions is very important but so is our ability to understand, interpret and respond to the emotions of others. To be emotionally intelligent one must be able to perceive emotions, reason with emotions, understand emotions and manage emotions.
There are four main factors identified in emotional intelligence. The first is the perceiving of emotions, which involves the initial understanding of emotions in order to perceive them accurately (Parker et al, 2013). In most cases, it could involve the comprehension of facial expressions and body language. The second factor is reasoning with emotions, which involves the use of perceived emotions in the promotion of cognitive and thinking activity. An individual’s emotions have a critical role to play in their prioritization of what they pay attention to, as well as react to. Te next factor is the understanding of emotions, which involves how the individual interprets the perceived emotions. The individual will be required to, for example, interpret why another individual is expressing emotions of anger. The final factor is the management of emotions, which refers to a person’s ability to manage effectively their own emotions (Parker et al, 2013). Regulation of emotion, appropriate response, and how one responds to other people’s emotions is fundamental aspects of EI.
The scope of emotional intelligence includes the verbal and nonverbal appraisal and expression of emotion, the regulation of emotion in the self and others, and the utilization of emotional content in problem solving. (pp. 433)
The best way to prevent unproductive anger is to come to an inherent understanding of what it is you believe and how to best channel it into a result you want. You start by encountering every possible belief out there, no matter how outlandish it may seem to you and you think on it. You think on it for however long it may take for you to come to a full understanding of why that someone may believe such things. Then you deliberate with them on those
Myers, L. L. & Tucker, M. L. (2005). Increasing Awareness of Emotional Intelligence In A Business Curriculum. Business Communication Quarterly, 68, pp. 44-50.
Emotional Intelligence is this ability for yourself to recognize and understand emotions for yourself and those around you. This ability helps you manage your behavior and relationships to get a better perspective for others. We citizens all have emotions, we use it all the time. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social skills, and makes personal decisions that achieve great positive results. Of course we need to dig into the bottom of how it works, this ability is made up of four core skills that are made up with two primary sources: personal competence and social competence. How these two work is simple, personal competence is basically made up for your self-awareness and self-management skills (self-awareness is your ability to
Anger changes the behavior pattern of the person as a result of changes in his emotional status. it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. Actions resulting from anger often lead to undesirable physiological and health consequences, because the neuro-transmitters/hormones (eg. adrenaline) released during anger intensify impulsive action and obscure rational
Dr. Charles Spielberger, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger, has defined anger as “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage” (APA). This sounds simple enough, but it is this range in intensity, its causes, and its response that makes anger such a difficult subject. In terms of the causes, anger itself can be a response to many events, both external and internal. The anger could be directed at a person, an event, personal problems, or painful memories. No matter what the cause, when anger turns to the extreme, it can be extremely harmful to individuals and whoever surrounds them. As the American Psychological Association’s (APA) pamphlet entitled “Controlling Anger Before It Controls You” states, “Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out...