Chad Witcher Professor Horton English 1101 11 June 2012 How Far is too Far: Your child's future needs you. How would you feel if you had a parents that always plowed a way for every accomplishment that you received? After reading the article “My Family’s Experiment in Extreme Schooling” it got me to thinking about how far some parents would go to make sure that their child succeeds at any goal that they have.. It would seem to be a bit overbearing at first glance, but it’s true, only you can dictate your future. In the article “My Family’s Experiment in Extreme Schooling” the author explains how he packed up all of his belongings and moved he and his family to a foreign country only because he wanted to immerse his children into this environment with hopes that they will eventually catch on to this culture's language. Would you go this far to ensure your child gets an upper hand in life, and will these actions help them for the better or worse? At a young age parents already have certain expectations for their kids that they hope will play out like they imagine. Growing up, my parents were always lenient with my grades. The only thing that they would have an issue with was if I brought home an “F.” I can’t say that was a bad way of parenting, but the fact that they didn’t push me hard enough to want to make an “A” wasn’t good either. I always wondered what life would be like if I had parents that constantly were on my back about grades, and just my school work in general. My parents methods for raising me helped me to find that inner motivation that always got me get through every obstacle I faced. I believe when you go as far as removing all barriers from your child’s path, it enables them to grow mentally and develo... ... middle of paper ... ...ous day. I was confused because I received the same grade, but unlike them I was excited about my “B.” I considered the fact that my parents only cared if I brought home a failing grade, which was probably why our reactions were totally different. So kids could consider some factors like how often do your parents motivate you in life, and how extreme are their parenting methods in general that will show how kids decide to react to certain situations.. No matter how much your parents might try to play a leading role in your own life, your extreme parents should know that they’ll only be up for supporting roles it is ultimately up to you and what stepping stool you decide to take. While casting your on real issues, you will have to decide how you will react to these problems. Your direction isn't quite clear yet, your production will be up and running in no time.
We are always searching for other people’s approval and acceptance. Being the middle child in my family has always felt like a competition for the attention of our parents. I lived fairly close to my elementary school growing up. I remember that every day on the walk there my mom would give me kind of a pep talk, “don’t talk to strangers” “make sure to eat and drinks lots of water” and before I left, she’d give me a blessing (she’s very religious) and the last thing she would say was “you better get straight A’s”. She used it metaphorically; meaning just the best you can be at everything you do and literally as in getting straight A’s. Being in elementary school, I didn’t get letter grades, but instead a numerical system where fours represented A’s. It was a routine that I’m very grateful I grew up with the competitive mentality, but it caused a rivalry against my brother. The moment I’d get home, I would excitedly tell my mom how my reading skills improved or a “cool” drawing I did in class. Later, my brother would come home bragging how he got an A on his history test or how he joined the soccer team. Seeing how he got more attention that day I’d strive to be superior the next day and even more involved growing up. For a second, I became unhappy being involved in so much school, I had to go to school from 8-3, had tutoring since 3-5, and practice till 7. This took a hard impact on my
Of course it is hard to draw a line on what is going too far for a parent to control their children’s lives. Lythcott-Haims suggests figuring out “how to get kids to tune into their own motivation, and to get the parents to tune out their motivation to shield their kids from failure and disappointment.” It’s true that parents try to shield their kids from failure and disappointment, but that’s because they want them to learn from their own previous mistakes. With age, there is more experience with failure and disappointment, so parents want their own child to not make the same mistakes. It’s a natural instinct for parents to protect their child from any harm and it may seem extreme to others, it’s probably normal for them. Even with the protection from parents, as young adults, we’re still going to make the same mistakes no matter how much protection there
Generally, parents’ want their child will be happy and successful, and these hopes often coexist with their specific ideals and aspirations. According to the article, “On the Relations Between Parents’ Ideals and Children’s Autonomy”, “parents also hope that their children will adopt the ideals they have for them, because if children are to realize their parents have for them, they must pursue these ideals too.” (de Ruyter, and Schinkel 369). Consequently, their parenting style will be influenced by this desire for their child to share the same ideals. In my case, these ideals existed, but weren’t extremely prominent. A more traditional example is one of my best friends, who was a gymnast and cheerleader for almost a decade. I remember her dreading and loathing both activities daily, but her mother signed her up at age five and wouldn’t let her quit until high school because she so intensely wanted her daughter to love what she loved. She decided early on that her daughter would play that role, and did everything in her power to make her achieve the ideal.
I was raised in an encouraging household where both of my parents greatly valued education. Although they were high school graduates, neither could afford to attend college; a combination of family and financial woes ultimately halted their path. As a result, my parents frequently reminded me that getting a good education meant better opportunities for my future. To my parents, that seemed to be the overarching goal: a better life for me than the one they had. My parents wanted me to excel and supported me financially and emotionally of which the former was something their parents were not able to provide. Their desire to facilitate a change in my destiny is one of many essential events that contributed to my world view.
In this study, another relationship between parenting styles and child development is presented. Participants were 7,836 adolescents enrolled in six high schools in San Francisco. They were provided with a questionnaire that included student background information, self-reported grades, parental attitudes and behaviors, and family commutation information. The study included three parenting styles, which were authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. Each one of the styles were described in the students’ questionnaire. The authoritarian style included the idea that as a response to a bad grade, parents tend to get upset, and when good grades are achieved, parents tell the student to do even better than what they have done. On the other hand, permissive parenting style was described as parents no caring about the students’ grade, and that hard work in school is not important for them. Then, they included authoritative parenting style as supportive parents that praise the student when good grades are achieved and more freedom to make decisions is given, but when poor grades are obtained, freedom is taken away and students are encouraged to try harder and some source of help is
Throughout my life my mother has always been my backbone and push me to strive for excellence and be academically perfect. I was taught to go above and beyond everyone else in class and work nonstop without excuses. However, the pressure from my mom triggered a negative effect in me and I eventually shutdown. Though I still managed to finish strong I felt that I did it to please my mom. That is why going to college is so important to me because I know that I can go to college and be triumphant on my own, so right now I am pushing through adversity in an attempt to prove myself right.
As I set such a scenario for you, two problems are clearly recognizable. The first lies in the lack of effort I put forth in my early schooling, and the second is that I recognized very early what my parents expectations of me were, though I failed to explore my own subdued expectations. They were bubbling just beneath the surface of my false façade of a student. It was not until my years in college, and my subsequent experience, although it is still in its infant stages, of teaching High School English that I began to appreciate writing and reading as a useful tool rather than a mechanism for keeping a smile on my parents’ faces. When this released enthusiasm became part of my life, the latter of the scenario’s problems quickly solved the former.
What they have done to foster my motivation was the way they would praise me. Like for example in Dweck, Carol S. “Brainology”: Transforming Students’ Motivation to Learn. It claims that praise might tell them that being smart and talent is the most important thing and it’s what makes you valuable. That’s when parents or teacher make mistakes they praise them wrong and all they just do is build up children’s ego. Then when they do something wrong children think they 're less and it plays with their self-esteem. But that was not my case, though, nobody never made it seem to me like being smart and talented where the most important and that’s what made someone valuable. To my mother in other hand I always had the best advice something that she would always tell me while growing up was that being smart and talented was not something you have it’s something you earn by your hard effort and so I
The expectations and standards for kids in America are too low. The low expectations of students are encouraging them to slack off or not give their education their best efforts. Many states are making tests and curricula easier so it looks like their students are performing really well, when in reality they are just being given easy material (“Bursting bubbles; Education…”). After school activities are another factor in low academic performance. While jobs and sports provide many benefits, school is the number one priority for kids. Not enough emphasis is put on this by teachers and parents (“Shortchanging students: How…”). Parents are contributing to the low expectations by not paying enough attention to how their kids are doing in school, also. Parents should be rewarding children for achievements and punishing them for failures instead of ignoring what is happening in their child’s life. If kids know that they won’t be punished or rewarded then they won’t try their hardest, because they know it doesn’t matter. Students have reported that they think grades aren’t important, they don’t try their hardest, or are afraid of what their friends migh...
My parents always encouraged me to strive for the best, so when they noticed my mediocre grades and lack of motivation in high school they were not happy with me and always reminded me to be grateful for the opportunities in front of me. Imagine the “when I was your age…” speech on steroids. Truth is I was unmotivated; no subject sparked my interest and the only subject that I had some remote interest in was medicine/healthcare. So when my senior year rolled
A lot of my classmates taunted me for receiving good grades on all my tests. It was obvious that I had different morals than they did. Their parents did not care what grades they got. My parents were never harsh, but they would always make me feel guilty if I did not receive high grades on my report card. At times, I would feel pressured to not preform exceptionally in school because of the constant verbal abuse. In fifth grade, I received my first ‘D’ on an English test because some of my classmates dared me not to study for the test that week. Lucky for me, I had very supportive parents unlike some of my other classmates. They explained to me how important it was to maintain a high GPA; I would go much farther in life than they would because of my academic drive. I took their advice to heart and from that moment on I never let negative peer pressure effect how I performed in
In depth analysis has revealed the structure of people and who they grow up to be. Whether the parenting style is prosperous or poor, it has significant impacts on how one sees the world, how one sees themself and has influence on one's levels of achievement throughout a lifetime. Until the child can recognize their own ability and goals, parenting style is the largest determining factor in the child's success in social and academic circumstances. Children are the final product, or a reflection of culture and a family's values. No matter what events or people cause turmoil in a child's life, the true impact of the negative outside forces lays in the parents hands. If the child is raised correctly, negativity will not take a toll on them as opposed to a child raised in a 'broken home.'
Equally important are the standard my mother has set for us she has taught us that if you set your goals high then it gives you something to reach for. She also believes that you can do anything you set your mind on. We never went to the schools in our district because my mother wanted to enhance our education. She would say that just because you don’t have money doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have just as good of an education as the well to do. She sent us to Catholic School for a few years till the expense got to be too much and then switched us to a good school in Chandler. We are not allowed to get a grade lower than a C if we do we lose something that is of importance to us, till we bring our grade ba...
Parents are the most important teachers in their children’s lives. Children learn most of their moral values from their parents. Because parents are the first agent of a child 's development, children automatically imitate what they learn at home, they never forget. You can be sure that they will pass it on to their children as well. Therefore, parenting is not just important but essential. Good parenting on behalf of the parents will in turn ensure a better society as a whole. Eastern and Western parents have a completely opposite approach in parenting styles. Asians parents are tend to be stereotype as authoritarian and have extremely high expectations when it comes to academic achievements and extracurricular activities like playing the piano or violin. An Asian student may be scolded by a parent for receiving a grade lower than an A, while a western student might be praised for getting a B, an above average grade. Is it wrong to punish a child for not being successful, or is it wrong to be lenient and have low expectations for a child? Both Chinese-style and Western-style parents want their children to be successful, but approach this goal in different ways due to variations in the definition of success and the culturally relative assumptions about the nature of relationships
Growing up, my parents, they always told me keep my grades up, to never put important things aside. They said learn from them, they had my oldest sister at a young age and they were not able to graduate or go back to continue educating them self. They struggle for so long, from buying themselves clothes, to paying the mortgage. Always put school first, work on myself to have the life I want when I am older, my parents said. Saying that, I believe; all the money I am spending, sacrifices I am making, skills I am gaining, and being able to say I fulfilled my goal will be worth it in about seven years for me.