Double Consciousness in Immigration

I can recall many instances where “double consciousness” (female and person of colour) was a factor in the discrimination I experienced. I remember the first time I became aware of my location in Toronto. I was in grade school and a boy called me a “nigger”. The teacher heard and told him to apologize, as it was not a nice thing to say. He unwillingly apologized and that was the end of it. He was not properly reprimanded, his parents were not informed of the incident and neither was mine. Similarly, I did not tell my mother because I was confident she would have spoken to the teacher and I was embarrassed1. Fast forward 5 years later, in high school, a similar incident occurred where the word “nigger” resurfaced. Only this time- not only did I demanded an apology, I requested it in writing and that his parents be notified; as I learned from my earlier experience, apologizing sometimes isn’t enough.

Consequently, I was a different person in the latter experience, not because I was older but because I was not ashamed of who I am. At that point I had unfortunately experienced so many prejudices that I did not internalize my hurt, instead, I used it as a vehicle to drive my resistance. Resistance to speak up when I feel I am being wronged, resistance to not tolerate it when someone uses my colour, sex, or status as a means to make me feel small while making themselves feel relevant. These two experiences that I have recounted brought to my attention the crude reality of the challenges I have and will continue to face because of my location but they are also the reason I no longer remain silent on the things that matter in my life.

Toronto has been my home for more than half my life and I can appreciate that though I am disadvan...

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...my counter part, male people of colour, particular and in my case black men and I use the term loosely2. Caribbean Canadians, especially Jamaicans have a vile reputation in Toronto. They are undoubtedly seen as drug dealers or murders and unfortunately in my opinion all are perceived as such, until they prove otherwise. Whereas, Caribbean Canadian women are not stigmatized as “violent offenders” or “thugs”, so in this regard I can say, in comparison, as a Caribbean woman I experience fewer prejudices. 3

In conclusion not everyone you meet in Toronto practice racism or discrimination, however, if you remain silent when you see it, or feel it is not your problem we will succumb to the perils of our silence. As Audre Lorde once said “it is learning how to stand alone, unpopular and sometimes reviled....for the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house”.