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Classification Essay - Four Types of Children

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I have had the luck of being the oldest of my mothers’ seven children, and the pleasure of having three of my own, and one step-son. I’ve spent a lot of time changing diapers, wiping noses, and kissing ouchies. I’ve carried babies on my hip that I’ve seen off to kindergarten, helped dressed for the first school dance, attended their graduation, and even been there when they have had their first baby. I have spent a lot of time analyzing their behavior, moods, or lack thereof. I’ve concluded that there are 4 types of children, I have been blessed with one of each. The 4 different types are: The Superstar, The Kool Kat, The Lil’ Mama or Little Man (depending on the sex of the child), and The Rebel.
First we have The Superstar. They have the spotlight from the day they are born. More than likely it will start right away, when you have to buy a special formula. The doctor tells you he has a sensitive stomach. Than when the child is in day care your told the reason that they painted their shoes was so theirs would be better than Jamie’s. In second grade she refuses to take her lunch for a week straight, because you didn’t buy a lunch bag like everyone else has. The sixth grade dance is more like prom night, and you still can’t believe he asked for a limousine. Nothing gets done at home. Your superstar is on the phone for hours. In high school, the joy of the beginning of a new school year is taken away by the fact that someone is paying for $200 Nikes. Not to mention that this child is the coolest thing around. It cost you for the sports they play, the movies they must see, and every new thing someone else has. By the time college arrives you believe finances would benefit if you just pay the out of state tuition.
Next we have the...


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...d and you refused to buy another, they refused to go to school. You threatened everything even their life, but could do nothing. After a couple years of McDonalds, and paying their own bills (since you decided they need a reality check) they decided that receiving a G.E.D. and attending college will be a better way. You gladly help, and still can’t understand why it took so long for them to come around.
Each child is unique. Each a pleasure to watch grow up. Some types will keep you broke, some mad. Others will have you rolling in the floor, while still others will have you so confused you seek a psychologist for better understanding. All types take a different path down the road of life, but all are capable of ending up in the same place with guidance and direction. My advice would be to just enjoy them, love them, and cherish each moment. It doesn’t last long.


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