Marriage in the traditional Afghan culture has a deep-rooted process through which it treads step by step. Rarely do young men and women have an opportunity to meet each other, and the to-be wife is usually chosen in a haste. When a young man wants to marry a young lady who is from an unknown family, first his parents do some kind of background check about her, trying to know more about her morals, beauty, and other family affairs.
If they are contented with what they find, his parents will send a female family member or a relative to her house in order to understand, indirectly or directly, and would disclose the proposal, if the situation is favorable. This consultation process takes some time, and a date is usually fixed to announce the decision among the relatives, if both sides are satisfied with this deal.
The Engagement
Shereny khory or namzady (Dari for: engagement) is the first step to formalize the affinity. The groom's father, accompanied by some kinfolk and elders, comes to the bride's home in a prefixed date with bags of sweets and gifts for the to-be bride, some money and clothes to some family members. After the food is served, the groom's father or a respected man from among the guests formally unveils the purpose for their coming and puts the demand as if the bride's father accepts his son "as a servant of him."
An elder man from the bride's extended or close family receives this demand, and both sides discuss and agree on things such as dowry, jewelry, expenses of the wedding, and other necessities —which are in most cases beyond the capacity of the to-be groom's family.
As it is agreed, a big qand (Dari for: lump sugar) is broken with two sides present and mixed up with sweets to be distributed in ...
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... that the bride will stay at her husband's home forever. Then, a number of girls take the bride to her bedroom and the party ends.
Takht jami (Dari for: wrap up the program) is another special ceremony held on third or seventh day after the wedding. Close relatives and friends are invited, and they bring gifts for the bride. These are mostly furniture and dishes for the newly established house.
It is a party special for the girls and women. Gifts are raised one by one, with the name of the person who presented it called out.
A few days after the wedding party, groom will go with some valuable gifts to greet his father-in-law and later the couple's relatives will begin inviting the new couple to their home called Paeewazee.
Works Cited
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to pay for the wedding, and the ceremony usually take one night and day before the
Nuer and American wedding’s result in the two extended families coming together and unite as one (Holtzman: 2008, 73). Nuer families are involved in the involvement of payment of bridewealth cattle, usually getting between 25 to 40 animals, from the family of the groom to the family of the bride (Holtzman: 2008, 73). The purpose of the bridewealth cattle was to connect her father from her groom’s father and to make children from the marriage. In America, traditionally, the bride and the groom often get gifts from all family members, but they would not get animals. They usually receive currency or household materials. Nuer weddings are not arranged like traditional Nuer marriages. Many of the times, the couple are usually friends or lovers before marriage (Holtzman: 2008, 74) which is similar to American culture.
During the ceremony the bride and groom exchange vows which consist of promises that each will keep during their time together. They will exchange rings and either conclude the service with unity candles or unity sand, along with the wedding officiate, who pronounces them husband and wife. They kiss each other and walk down the aisle and out of the venue to a crowd of family and friends. Traditionally they throw bird food, blow bubbles, or ring bells.
On occasion of the Howkrah the “Walwar” (the money to be paid by the father of the boy to the girl’s father) money is specified. In accordance with the elders decision the groom’s parent agree to pay in cash the specified amount to the bride’s parents on the day of marriage. Some amount is paid in advance while rest of the money is paid on the marriage day. The father of the girl demands a huge sum of money from the father of the boy. The father of the boy and other relatives present on the occasion request him to reduce the amount for sake of God, sake of Prophet and other saints. The father of the girls on their request and for God’s sake and Prophet and other saints cuts down the amount to some extent. In some cases the father of the boy requests on reducing the amount for the sake of their dead forefathers too. Nevertheless, the amount is brought down to a reasonable level within the range of the boy’s father. Whenever the walwar amount is settled, some sweets and drinks are served to the people on the occasion.(Afridi:2002)
As shown in the movie, Enemies of Happiness ( ) Afghan women are still suffering from planned and child bride marriages. Even though marriages of females below the age of 16 are outlawed by the constitution, this movie clearly shows that this continues to happen. As well does the reading from the introduction of Afghan Women in this quote “Afghan authorities do not investigate women’s complaints” (Rostami-Povey 2). More proof comes from the Ms Magazine article Stones can’t Stop Them, when in April of 2009 the President of Afghanistan signed the Shia Personal Status Law, that included, recognizing child marriages (Tang 21). And although this law was later withdrawn, it shows that oppressive thinking that is still going on in the Afghanistan culture today.
Imagine seeing a girl no older than eight years old, being forced into marriage to a man twice her age. For many girls around the world being forced into marriage to much older men is an everyday occurrence in their lives. The word “arranged” is not usually associated with the word “forced” but in cases like these the girls have no choice but to agree to marry. Arranged marriages are deeply imbedded into the cultures of some countries with girls being promised into marriage when they are as young as a month old and marrying before they reach maturity. About a third of the women married in developing countries are married before they were eighteen years of age. In Afghanistan, 43 percent of brides from 2000 to 2008 were married before the age of eighteen and the number has risen due to poverty and problems the country is facing (Norland and Rubin 1). In developing countries such as Yemen, India, and Afghanistan, the practice of early arranged marriages is outlawed in their countries’ constitutions. Any such marriages take place illegally or under the radar of the law (Gorney 1). Afghan women and girls are being forced into arranged marriages to settle things such as debt and to secure stable futures for themselves or their families. Often these girls are targets for physical and mental abuse with little or no way out. Therefore, there should be more Muslim organizations that dedicate themselves to the education of the Afghan people about the physical and emotional effects of forcing young girls into marriage and ways to improve the lives of Afghan girls.
Having the support and involvement of parents and grandparents in the ceremony brings a special blessing to the couple and also expresses honor to the previous generations of marriage unions.
This provides information on the customs and traditions throughout the American culture and their marriage and wedding practices.
Despite people celebrating marriage in different ways it all comes back to one thing; marriage is a social ritual that by which two people affirms one abiding contracts between. The ceremonies are composed of rituals which symbolize facets of married life and the obligations being undertaken. In Hinduism the marriage celebration can start weeks before the actual ceremony depending on the preferences of the family. Once the day of the ceremony comes around the day starts with the brides’ family welcoming the groom into their home and both families are formally introduced. Both the bride and groom sit at the Mandap- tent where the ceremony is held under,-and are offered a drink. Gifts between the two families are generally exchanged at this point. The groom's mother gives an auspicious necklace to the bride, which is essentially an emblem of the married status in the Hindu religion. Then scared fire is lit and a pundit recites t...
In the medieval, the arranged marriage which is a type of marital union where the bride and groom are selected by a third party rather than by themselves seems to be a norm worldwide. This sort of marriage is ludicrous especially in the contemporary society, however, it gradually tends to be set up by modern individuals' parents or marriage agency excluding the royal and aristocratic clans and numerous in underdeveloped countries. Although this marriage sounds ridiculous and against the human rights, it absolutely bears some merits catering to the modern lifestyle and relationship pattern.
The first difference between American culture and Indian culture is marriage. A wedding is a great social event in our society, which establish a new bond between two individuals and families. Marriage is a joyful occasion with plenty of music, dance, partying and merrymaking. It also brings together a long-lost friends, relatives and acquaintances. In India, the parents choose the mate for their child, which is called an arranged marriage. In most cases, the bri...
...church, a courthouse, or a wedding venue. Both bride and groom exchange wedding rings and kiss before the witnesses and their families. Flowers are thrown at the newlyweds when they leave the place of ceremony. The banquet party happens in a restaurant where the bride’s and groom’s families, their relatives, and guests are sharing their joy and celebration. Dancing in the party is the loveliest part of the American wedding culture and happens at every American wedding. In addition, at the end of my husband’s coworker wedding party, I saw the guests enjoyed dancing happily around the newlyweds until late in the night to share the joy of happiness to the newlyweds.
As it turns out, most of the marriages that take place in India are arranged. Arranged marriages are a traditional practice in India, so you can find arranged marriages being practiced in all social classes. The parents of the individual play a big part in this tradition because they are the ones who choose a partner for the individual to marry. The parents must look into the family background of the future bride or groom to make sure that their sons/daughters marry into good families. Not only that, but they go beyond the family background and check the bachelors/bachelorettes out for themselves to make sure they make a good choice. Once a potential partner is chosen, the parents may or may not set up a quick meeting between the two individuals. In other extreme cases, the individuals do not meet at all before the wedding. It is also customary for the two families involved in the arranged marriage to exchange gifts.
Almost every culture around the world have the idea of bringing together households in marriage. In the United States, this a coupling of two people who will start a life on their own. In India, a marriage is more than two people falling and love and getting married. Family, religion and casts play a role for the future bride and groom. The Indian culture’s weddings have different traditions when it comes to proposals, ring traditions and ceremonies not only for the couple but for the families as well.
First of all, the man who is going to be the groom and his parents or his respected elders must go to the bride’s house and ask the bride’s parents for permissions to marry their daughter. Then they will make a deal of how much money the groom has to give to the bride on their wedding day. After that they will go to a monk to ask for an appropriate wedding date. And when the date is arranged, the wedding will be prepared by the parents and relatives of both sides.