A Proposal to Prevent Global Warming

We humans cannot help but feel a twinge of regret when we contemplate how we brought forth the plague of global warming by our own hands in the passing years. Aside from rising sea levels as deluging coastal cities and depleting ozone layers as increasing cancer rates, we inevitably come face to face with one simple realization: it’s getting too hot in here. Moreover, we have been devastated by various extremes of nature, with spring frost storms and summer hurricanes arriving with increasing frequency. However, numerous though the causes of global warming may be, the general consensus is that carbon dioxide, which results from the burning of fuels such as coal, is the main culprit; this gas has now formed a high concentration blockade in the atmosphere, preventing heat from escaping and thus increasing the temperatures of our planet. Therefore, after assessing all facts of the problem, I humbly propose that we collect the CO2¬, compress it, and then place it into soda cans. Then, we shall store the soda cans underground, whence the CO2 originally came.

First of all, I can assure everyone of the feasibility of this marvelous plan despite the enormity of our rivals. I had recently learnt from the report of the Carbon Dioxide Information Analysis Center (CDIAC) that the world annual emission is about 30-billion tons of CO2, which volume I calculated to be 20-trillion cubic meters. However, those carbon dioxides in the form of solid after compression—dry ice, with the density that is almost 1000 times it was in gas—would only retain the size of only 20-billion cubic meters¬, which could be imaged as the room enclosed within 1000 football fields. Meanwhile, 8-trillion-ton coal production around the world opens up a vacuum of 10-tril...

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...forest is to be opened up for extensive industrial development and metropolitan prosperity. Therefore, “dry ice cans” surpasses all possible ideas ever established in its social and economical benefits for the general wealth of the people.

Admittedly, we have to immediately amend our current deteriorating situation imperatively, because the conservation of the planet that we inhabit on is veritably our only trustable path towards the unpredictable trends of future. Not only we, our descendants who have prospered this land, but also all creatures (and perhaps the entity of lives have ever lived) now are relying on the solution we are exhibiting for world, for none can afford to lose this exquisite but delicate Garden of Eden. Therefore, for the enunciation of good intensions, I propose my recommendations of the “dry ice plan,” for the sake of our ultimate benefit.