A Proposal on the Energy Crisis

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In 1492, Christopher Columbus sailed across the Atlantic Ocean and became one of history’s most legendary figures when he discovered the American continent. Even before Columbus, Norse explorer Leif Erikson is believed to have traveled and formed a settlement in Canada. Whether or not it was Columbus or Erikson who actually made the discovery is irrelevant. Columbus’s fleet of three ships is said to have left Spain on August 3, 1492, and it took approximately five weeks for them to reach their destination. In 1805, it took Lewis and Clark over two years to make a round trip to Pacific Ocean from St. Louis, Missouri. In 2014, it takes about seven hours to fly from Boston, Massachusetts to London, England. It also only takes about a week and a half to drive from Missouri to Oregon and back. How is this possible? Well, the answer to that question is highly complicated and scientific. However, a fairly simple reason we are able to travel so quickly is the fact that we use vehicles powered by fossil fuels, instead of old fashioned ships powered by wind or a horse and buggy.
Fossil fuels are what power planes, trains, and automobiles to get us from place to place every day. What would we do without the large and high-powered SUVs that take us such long distances (sometimes up to a few miles!) to school and work every single day? Driving from place to place surely saves a lot of time and effort that we can now dedicate to watching videos of cats on the Internet and eating fast food from a drive thru window (another wonderful innovation caused by our obsession with cars).
Petroleum is also known as the crude oil which is pumped from the ground. This crude oil is actually the remainder of the dead animals and plants from millions of year...

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...hat anyone over a certain body fat percentage would need to go to one of these camps until they lost weight.
This plan could help Americans continue to live our wasteful lives as we always have, without worry that one day we’ll run out of fuel to keep us going. Sure, it would cost a few billion dollars to set up the camps, round up all the homeless and fat people, and enforce these rules, but isn’t that better than attempting to develop a fuel source from something we already have? How ridiculous would it be to invest in harnessing the power of the sun and wind when we can just use the homeless and fat people that are becoming such a large problem in our country? It would be completely and totally pointless. Raising gasoline prices so we’re more likely to conserve? That would be dreadful. No one wants to give up their lazy lifestyle in order to simply save energy.

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